Comments on: What Size Bed for Your Au Pair (Poll) http://AuPairMom.com/what-size-bed-for-your-au-pair-poll/2010/03/11/celiaharquail/ Helping Host Parents and Au Pairs build great relationships. Wed, 23 May 2012 08:31:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Previous au pair http://AuPairMom.com/what-size-bed-for-your-au-pair-poll/2010/03/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-9044 Previous au pair Mon, 10 May 2010 21:41:59 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2792#comment-9044 well although they might be nice people if they are bullying you into staying longer when you are already miserable and just want to leave they arent listening to you and thats not what a host family is supposed to do. I know what you mean I went through a few similar situations as you and you know what you have to speak up for yourself and be brave :) cuz as you said no one else is going to do it for you thats one of the reasons what this year away is about being learning to be independant and brave and growing as a person Think about it whats the worst that could happen? if you tell them how you feel sure they might get angry and might want you to leave. But then you already want to leave :) well although they might be nice people if they are bullying you into staying longer when you are already miserable and just want to leave they arent listening to you and thats not what a host family is supposed to do.
I know what you mean I went through a few similar situations as you and you know what you have to speak up for yourself and be brave :)
cuz as you said no one else is going to do it for you
thats one of the reasons what this year away is about being learning to be independant and brave and growing as a person
Think about it whats the worst that could happen? if you tell them how you feel sure they might get angry and might want you to leave. But then you already want to leave :)

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]]> By: FormerSwissAupair http://AuPairMom.com/what-size-bed-for-your-au-pair-poll/2010/03/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-9016 FormerSwissAupair Mon, 10 May 2010 13:35:40 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2792#comment-9016 I was in AP in Switzerland. I met a couple of girls online who were absolutley miserable in Italy. I found it difficult enough with the Swiss, but at least most of the population spoke English. I only lived about 2 hours from Italy, and was shocked to find that most of the Italian population, outside of tourist cities, didn't speak English. And they were not overally friendly. Well, good luck with everything. If it were me, I would plan to leave in July. You have given them pleanty of notice, and if they chose to take their sweet time in finding a replacement, then that is their fault, not yours. I was in AP in Switzerland. I met a couple of girls online who were absolutley miserable in Italy. I found it difficult enough with the Swiss, but at least most of the population spoke English. I only lived about 2 hours from Italy, and was shocked to find that most of the Italian population, outside of tourist cities, didn’t speak English. And they were not overally friendly. Well, good luck with everything. If it were me, I would plan to leave in July. You have given them pleanty of notice, and if they chose to take their sweet time in finding a replacement, then that is their fault, not yours.

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]]> By: Nicola aupair http://AuPairMom.com/what-size-bed-for-your-au-pair-poll/2010/03/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-9015 Nicola aupair Mon, 10 May 2010 13:16:36 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2792#comment-9015 I'm in the north of Italy... and I announced to my host parents in April that I wanted to leave in July. Before I had spoken to them about giving a month's notice... they conviniently "forgot" this arrangement and pressured me to stay until September (claiming that we wouldn't be able to find many au pairs who wanted to start work in July). Luckily they're in the process of interviewing 2 au pairs, one of whom wants to start in June and the other in July, so there's still hope! Anyway, I sent an email to cv about this (not this particular bed issue, but what I'm going to do about leaving in September), so I don't really know how much of this is going to be repeated later but... I really want to leave as soon as possible, because there aren't many aupairs around here or anyone my age that I can speak to, etc. etc... But aside from the bed thing, they've been a pretty good family, and they're nice people so I really would feel bad about leaving them, I hate confrontation and I am a bit of a pushover. Actually, last Friday I broke down in tears and told them that they shouldn't get an aupair for a year, that in such an isolated place it was too lonely and they couldn't expect anybody to survive like that for a year... all that got was a lecture on how antisocial I am and how I wasn't trying hard enough to make friends, how I never initiated contact with people (so completely untrue!) so I feel like no matter what I say, it's going to fall on stubbornly deaf ears. Oh well. Lesson learned- next time, smuggle your friend in a suitcase! Or go where there's lots of au pairs! I’m in the north of Italy… and I announced to my host parents in April that I wanted to leave in July. Before I had spoken to them about giving a month’s notice… they conviniently “forgot” this arrangement and pressured me to stay until September (claiming that we wouldn’t be able to find many au pairs who wanted to start work in July). Luckily they’re in the process of interviewing 2 au pairs, one of whom wants to start in June and the other in July, so there’s still hope! Anyway, I sent an email to cv about this (not this particular bed issue, but what I’m going to do about leaving in September), so I don’t really know how much of this is going to be repeated later but… I really want to leave as soon as possible, because there aren’t many aupairs around here or anyone my age that I can speak to, etc. etc…

But aside from the bed thing, they’ve been a pretty good family, and they’re nice people so I really would feel bad about leaving them, I hate confrontation and I am a bit of a pushover.

Actually, last Friday I broke down in tears and told them that they shouldn’t get an aupair for a year, that in such an isolated place it was too lonely and they couldn’t expect anybody to survive like that for a year… all that got was a lecture on how antisocial I am and how I wasn’t trying hard enough to make friends, how I never initiated contact with people (so completely untrue!) so I feel like no matter what I say, it’s going to fall on stubbornly deaf ears. Oh well. Lesson learned- next time, smuggle your friend in a suitcase! Or go where there’s lots of au pairs!

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]]> By: FormerSwissAupair http://AuPairMom.com/what-size-bed-for-your-au-pair-poll/2010/03/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-9013 FormerSwissAupair Mon, 10 May 2010 12:45:18 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2792#comment-9013 Nicola, what country are you in? Nicola, what country are you in?

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]]> By: Previous au pair http://AuPairMom.com/what-size-bed-for-your-au-pair-poll/2010/03/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-9012 Previous au pair Mon, 10 May 2010 12:44:45 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2792#comment-9012 well it depends really.. if they are dragging it on forever though you cant be expected to stay there if your unhappy. If you give them 2 weeks notice I think thats appropriate. You cant just keep your life on hold for when it suits them just curious as to how long you've been waiting for them to get a new au pair? I know its difficult talking to your host parents about that your unhappy especially if your not comfortable with them hence why after you have the talk its good for both sides to move on as soon as possible otherwise things get weird and awkward (I have been through this situation) well it depends really.. if they are dragging it on forever though you cant be expected to stay there if your unhappy. If you give them 2 weeks notice I think thats appropriate. You cant just keep your life on hold for when it suits them
just curious as to how long you’ve been waiting for them to get a new au pair?
I know its difficult talking to your host parents about that your unhappy especially if your not comfortable with them hence why after you have the talk its good for both sides to move on as soon as possible otherwise things get weird and awkward (I have been through this situation)

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]]> By: Nicola aupair http://AuPairMom.com/what-size-bed-for-your-au-pair-poll/2010/03/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-9010 Nicola aupair Mon, 10 May 2010 12:27:58 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2792#comment-9010 Well, I did tell them I was leaving early, but my father has been pressuring me to do things the "right way" and not leave them in the lurch, I guess I can only sit tight and hope that they find another au pair soon :( Well, I did tell them I was leaving early, but my father has been pressuring me to do things the “right way” and not leave them in the lurch, I guess I can only sit tight and hope that they find another au pair soon :(

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]]> By: Previous au pair http://AuPairMom.com/what-size-bed-for-your-au-pair-poll/2010/03/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-9006 Previous au pair Mon, 10 May 2010 07:51:38 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2792#comment-9006 I would mind..not having your own space for a whole year and living in a play room would get on my nerves..true you dont have an agency to complain to but you also dont have to be a pushover andif you express your concern with the family and they dont listen to you whatsoever then you have the option of leaving and finding a new family and are not obligated to stay there while they find a new au pair which they could drag out. I would mind..not having your own space for a whole year and living in a play room would get on my nerves..true you dont have an agency to complain to but you also dont have to be a pushover andif you express your concern with the family and they dont listen to you whatsoever then you have the option of leaving and finding a new family and are not obligated to stay there while they find a new au pair which they could drag out.

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]]> By: Nicola aupair http://AuPairMom.com/what-size-bed-for-your-au-pair-poll/2010/03/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-9000 Nicola aupair Sun, 09 May 2010 17:11:02 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2792#comment-9000 Yup, that's exactly it. :( However, even if you don't have an agency, you still have to follow the hours worked rule, but when that gets broken, there's nobody to complain to there either, so... Anyway, I don't really mind anymore, I'm not hard done by or anything, I just don't have a bed :o Yup, that’s exactly it. :(

However, even if you don’t have an agency, you still have to follow the hours worked rule, but when that gets broken, there’s nobody to complain to there either, so…

Anyway, I don’t really mind anymore, I’m not hard done by or anything, I just don’t have a bed :o

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]]> By: Aria http://AuPairMom.com/what-size-bed-for-your-au-pair-poll/2010/03/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-8999 Aria Sun, 09 May 2010 16:30:28 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2792#comment-8999 Yes, but (i don't know if this is nicola's situation as well) in europe not everyone uses an agency, and without an agency, well, there aren't really any rules to break, and who are you going to complain to? Yes, but (i don’t know if this is nicola’s situation as well) in europe not everyone uses an agency, and without an agency, well, there aren’t really any rules to break, and who are you going to complain to?

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]]> By: Darthastewart http://AuPairMom.com/what-size-bed-for-your-au-pair-poll/2010/03/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-8995 Darthastewart Sun, 09 May 2010 12:53:30 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2792#comment-8995 I would think that a bed would be a minimum requirement. I would think that a bed would be a minimum requirement.

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