I’m not thinking about Nanny Cams that host parents can use to watch their au pairs during the day, but hidden cameras that watched us host parents when our au pairs weren’t around.
What behavior of yours would a nanny cam catch?
What things would you be proud of, and what things might embarrass you?
This question popped up for me as I was reading a mombloggerfriend’s post on transparency in marriage, and the cost of keeping secrets.
While *obviously* you’re not going to have the same level of emotional and psychological intimacy, trust and disclosure with our au pairs as with our parenting partners, the idea did make me wonder about what we do or say when our au pairs aren’t around, and how that matters.
The most stressful thing, for me, about having an au pair is the idea of having someone else around who in fact sees so many of these things I’d rather no one know about. If she’s paying attention, she’s heard me yell at my kids, she’s seen me eat nearly an entire box of Thin Mints on my own, and she knows whether or not I’ve actually gone to the gym.
There are things that I’d like my au pair to be oblivious to, things that I’d really like to keep private. And, for the most part, these private things have little to do with my au pair or my relationship with her.
What is more significant, though, are my au pair specific comments and actions.
I’ m sure that I’ve rolled my eyes and complained to my DH that “she left the damn air conditioner on ALL DAY, while she was GONE!”
And, I’ve carefully shaped my responses when one of my daughters has complained that our au pair wouldn’t let her do what she wanted and thus was being mean. I’ve hidden my case of Honest Tea in my office so she won’t even know I have it, much less drink it without me. Who knows what else.
If you were to put a nanny cam that your au pair could watch when she’s not around, how much do you think your behavior might change?
Would that be a good thing, or no?