It’s funny how sometimes, when it’s your situation, the whole thing seems complex. Then when someone else reads it, the answer is clear. Or not.
Do we ever really know whether a new au pair (or host family) is just struggling to get adjusted, or instead if it’s a lost cause?
Check out the description from HM, who is hosting her fourth au pair. Previous relationships have been good, but with this one “We’ve hit a serious snag.”
Our au pair, “Amy” is 20 and from Germany. Our previous au pairs have all been from German or Austria. We have never rematched, although one of our au pairs left in the first week, having had a total change of heart. Other than that, we have had three great years with three very different au pairs.
Amy, however, is like no one we have encoutered before. All her skills are good – good English skills, good driving and gets on well with the children.
I work outside the home part-time, and our children are 3 and 6 years old. We live in the suburbs of a major city.
Amy has been with us for 5 weeks.
The problems with Amy are as follows:
- Amy has not made an effort to make friends. Even our LCC has reported that Amy did not respond when the LCC introduced her to several au pairs at a recent cluster party and that Amy left early saying she wanted to go home.
- Amy complains constantly about everything. She does not say “I hate _ _.” Rather, she will say: my room is too warm; my room is too cold; it is loud; I don’t like the LCC; None of the girls have time to spend with me; I can’t travel because the girl I want to travel with has to work; I went to the city but it was too hot, etc. etc.
- Amy is very unhappy if we go out for the day and do not include her in the plans. However, we include her in almost everything and when she does join us, she does not seem to enjoy it at all. I suspect that she does not know WHAT she wants and is unhappy and confused.
Bottom Line: taken all together, I think Amy is miserable here and should go home, but would welcome opinions. As I said above, her one saving grace is that she is great with the children, always on time, professional etc. It’s everything outside of the job that is awful.
Please help! Regards all, HM