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Your au pair’s social life

Our Au Pair is Dating My Husband’s Close Friend. Now what?

by cv harquail February 4, 2012

And speaking of trying to maintain some privacy around ones adult social life, Here’s an email that has me completely stumped.  How do they stay “host parents” to their au pair, and friends with their friend, and have any separate adult social life? We really need your ideas here, folks. Dear Au Pair Mom, I [...]

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Family Invitations: Should your Au Pair be included?

by cv harquail July 27, 2011

How do other people see your au pair? When you tell them that she or he should be treated as “part of the family”, what do your think that means to them? Grandparents, next door neighbors, teachers, and mail carriers all have their own ideas about whether, when, and how an au pair is or [...]

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Au Pairs and Online Romances: Your role as a Host Parent

by cv harquail June 10, 2011

As host parents we feel responsible for keeping our au pairs safe, since they are under our roofs and with our families. However, we recognize that what they do on their own time is (largely) their own business. Au pairs deserve social autonomy, privacy, and the chance to experiment with new things and new relationships. [...]

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When an Invasion of Privacy Threatens an Au Pair Relationship

by cv harquail December 9, 2010

There’s a reason we have doors on our bedrooms, and it’s not to keep out the light or the noise when we’re trying to fall asleep– it’s to give us some privacy where we can completely relax, knowing that no one will see whatever it is we are doing. Sometimes I’ve felt like there is [...]

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Your Au Pair’s Friends: Key to Her/His Happiness?

by cv harquail August 6, 2010

It’s so important for your au pair to develop friendships here in the US. Your au pair needs friends to create a social life and to strike out beyond your home and family for some of her or his own adventures.  Once our au pairs have foud a friend or two (or three) they have [...]

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The Three Phone Calls I Want to Get From My Au Pair at 2 am

by cv harquail June 3, 2010

I’ve had too much to drink and I can’t drive home safely. Can you come and get me? My friend has had too much to drink and she can’t drive us home safely. Can you come and get us? I don’t feel safe and I don’t know how to get home. Can you come and [...]

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Au Pair Guidelines: Does your car have a curfew? (Poll)

by cv harquail June 2, 2010

Our au pair car was a naughty, naughty car. Its very first year as an au pair car, it often stayed out kind of late. Once, it got left behind at a bar and didn’t make it back until Monday. Another time, it was hanging out 95 miles away from home, without permission, and tangled [...]

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Au Pair Guidelines: What’s a reasonable curfew? (Poll)

by cv harquail June 2, 2010

Do you have a curfew for your au pair on nights before she or he is scheduled to be on duty? Many Host Parents find that they need to be explicit about what time their au pair should be home, to make sure that she or he is ready to go the next morning. They [...]

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In Loco Parentis? Your Parental Responsibilities when your AP’s behavior challenges your values

by cv harquail June 1, 2010

As Host Parents, we have an odd role in our Au Pair’s lives. We are responsible for keeping them safe, housed, fed, and supported in their work with our children. And we also often play a role that I call Pseudo In Loco Parentis. Pseudo In Loco Parentis Like the fancy Latin? Years ago, women’s [...]

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