My Host Family Thinks I’m Unreliable. Can I change their minds?

by cv harquail February 9, 2014

Dear AuPairMom-  I have made a few mistakes with my host family, and I am wondering if I can fix things.  I arrived in the US a little over 5 months ago. After three months I broke my wrist, needed surgery, could not do my job correctly but I got an incredible support from my […]

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My Au Pair Application Isn’t Completely True. What should I do?

by cv harquail October 8, 2013
truth lies

We host parents absolutely depend on an au pair’s application to get an accurate and complete representation of that au pair’s background.   Part of the reason why we use Au Pair Agencies rather than websites or Craig’s List is to have a professional (usually, a field person hired by an Agency) interview the au […]

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Something’s Missing: Not the GPS, but her sense of Responsibility

by cv harquail January 20, 2011
drwhimsy flickr.jpg

From HostMom Needing Guidance: Dear Au Pair Mom readers — We’re 7 months into our year with our current AP. It’s been a good year so far and she is a great AP. She’s good with the kids and fairly easy to live with, and we’re starting to think about whether to extend. However, I […]

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My Au Pair is Stealing Little Items: Should I rematch?

by cv harquail December 16, 2010
Flower FairyFolk etsy.jpeg

This query was tucked away in a previous post: Tough Topic: When your au pair steals from you. I thought it deserved its own, up-to-the-minute conversation. From Host Mom Pippa: I just last week caught our au pair stealing little items from us, confronted her, and then caught her the next day stealing more. AP […]

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Is it reasonable to stop trusting my Au Pair after this?

by cv harquail December 5, 2010

When we share a bond of trust with another person, we can can handle almost any kind of conflict or difference of opinion. For most of us, we begin our relationships with our au pairs with a foundation of ‘swift trust’, and then build on this foundation as each party meets their obligations, treats the […]

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Is our Au Pair committed?: Verify, but trust.

by cv harquail September 17, 2010

Dear AuPairMom, I’m hoping to get some input from your readers on a problem I have about trust and commitment to our family: Our AP (our second) has been with us for a few weeks. Last weekend, she traveled outside the country to see a male friend. (He’s in a country nearer to the US […]

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Is Snooping in your Au Pair’s room ever okay?

by cv harquail February 6, 2010

I got an email from “Undercover Host Mom” — she is struggling with this dilemma: Although we have a strict and absolute non-smoking policy, and discussed this before we matched with our au pair, I have come to wonder whether she is smoking in our car and maybe even in the house. (It’s hard to […]

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Temporary Eviction: Would you make your Au Pair stay somewhere else while you are on vacation?

by cv harquail December 17, 2009

Host parents, we got a request for advice from an au pair who is facing temporary eviction while her host parents are on vacation. The situation is a bit of an emergency, since the family is slated to leave within the week. Your ideas? Here’s the situation: Dear Au Pair Mom readers, I am an […]

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Would you ever use a “nanny cam”?

by cv harquail April 26, 2009

A reader suggested that we talk about nanny cams. (She suggested the topic using the Skribit widget on the sidebar… hint hint). Personally, I think nanny cams are kindof creepy, in general. And, if I were ever tempted to use one myself, it would be a sign to me that my relationship with my au […]

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