With Your Au Pair’s Social Life, Be Caring Not Controlling

by cv harquail January 28, 2017

If you can trust your Au Pair with your children, can’t you trust her with her own Saturday night plans? I wondered this, when I read the email (below) from the OverMonitoredAuPair. I am a BIG believer in knowing how to find your Au Pair in an emergency during his/her off-duty time. I am a […]

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Safety Tips for Au Pairs Using Tinder and Other Dating Apps

by cv harquail March 22, 2016
make good choices

Used to be we’d only have to give our Au Pairs a safety lecture about drunk guys at bars who assume things when they hear the words “Au Pair”.  Now, if our Au Pairs are using dating apps to meet people, we might have to expand our conversation about what’s safe and what’s appropriate. Yes, […]

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Why Have a Curfew on Your Car and not Your Au Pair?

by cv harquail May 13, 2015

Some readers have wondered why a family might put a curfew on the au pair car, but not have a curfew on the au pair him/herself. They point out that if au pairs are dependent on the au pair car for transportation during their time off, then having a curfew on the car is effectively the […]

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Energetic Male Au Pair Lacks Judgment. Should we rematch?

by cv harquail May 6, 2015

Dear AuPairMom —  Our family has had au pairs since 2008. We had some amazing aupairs some mediocre and some terrible experiences that resulted in rematches. So one would think that we went through so many situations, we now know how to pick the right au pair and we know when it’s time for rematch. […]

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Au Pair’s Dr. Host Dad insisting she receive Vitamin B shots? No. No. No.

by cv harquail February 19, 2015

This particular pair of host parents wins the prize for “Most Invasive Expectations”. I received an email from an au pair currently working in Europe. She writes: Hi AuPairMom– I don’t know any other au pairs and so I’m hoping to get some advice from you on this difficult situation. I have been living with […]

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Creepy, Crawly, Contagious Things- What if your Au Pair catches them too?

by cv harquail July 27, 2014
Gdaisy hair

(Reposted from our archives, since an Au Pair Asked…) When I became a mom I knew that that I would need to become accustomed to dealing with things that, pre-motherhood, had completely grossed me out. I’m talking about poopy diapers, vomit, bloody noses, fart jokes, and public belching. These were things that I would have […]

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Au Pair Asks: How Do I Ask Prospective Host Families About Guns in Their Home?

by cv harquail June 17, 2013

Following on our earlier post about guns in the home, here’s a different take on the issue. An au pair candidate writes to ask– How do I ask possible host families about whether they have weapons in their home? When I replied this au pair’s email, I mentioned to her that she’s the first au […]

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Au Pairs and Guns in Your House: Rules, Principles, and Having the Conversation

by cv harquail June 15, 2013
gun safety, au pair advice

I remember the first time my baby was invited to someone else’s house for a playdate, without me but with my au pair. The other child’s au pair had extended the invitation, but I called the other parents myself just to check in. I asked them all the usual questions– what time, where, allergies, any […]

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What do Host Parents think about Nanny Cams?: Au Pair Asks

by cv harquail May 8, 2013
kid spy

It’s been a long time since we had our last conversation about Nanny Cams. We’ve had a couple of suggestions for a post about them, but I have always resisted.   Only about 15% of host parent readers who took our poll back then reported that they even considered using a nanny cam. Personally, I […]

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Did You And Your Au Pair Get Your Flu Shots?

by cv harquail October 29, 2012

Some folks seem to love to prepare for emergencies. Here in the New York Metro area folks are darting around getting water, batteries, and in my case lots of chocolate, so that they’ll be ready for whatever Hurricane Sandy as in store for us. You can’t believe the lines at the supermarket. This morning there […]

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