When A Host Parent Crosses the Line, Au Pairs MUST rematch

by cv harquail December 4, 2017

There are very few problematic situations in Au Pair-Host Family relationships that are completely black or white, where it’s clear that the next step is rematch. For Host Families, black and white situations include when an Au Pair endangers a child in any way, and when an Au Pair has lied or stolen. For Au Pairs, black […]

11 comments Read the full article →

Support Gun Safety Legislation

by cv harquail October 4, 2017

Dear Readers — A girlfriend reminded me this morning that, as a person who runs a website that reaches 16,000 people a month, I have a responsibility to use this platform wisely.  To promote community, to promote growth, to promote learning, to promote cross cultural understanding, and to promote safety. One of the most horrifying […]

4 comments Read the full article →

With Your Au Pair’s Social Life, Be Caring Not Controlling

by cv harquail January 28, 2017

If you can trust your Au Pair with your children, can’t you trust her with her own Saturday night plans? I wondered this, when I read the email (below) from the OverMonitoredAuPair. I am a BIG believer in knowing how to find your Au Pair in an emergency during his/her off-duty time. I am a […]

22 comments Read the full article →

Safety Tips for Au Pairs Using Tinder and Other Dating Apps

by cv harquail March 22, 2016
make good choices

Used to be we’d only have to give our Au Pairs a safety lecture about drunk guys at bars who assume things when they hear the words “Au Pair”.  Now, if our Au Pairs are using dating apps to meet people, we might have to expand our conversation about what’s safe and what’s appropriate. Yes, […]

24 comments Read the full article →

Why Have a Curfew on Your Car and not Your Au Pair?

by cv harquail May 13, 2015

Some readers have wondered why a family might put a curfew on the au pair car, but not have a curfew on the au pair him/herself. They point out that if au pairs are dependent on the au pair car for transportation during their time off, then having a curfew on the car is effectively the […]

60 comments Read the full article →

Energetic Male Au Pair Lacks Judgment. Should we rematch?

by cv harquail May 6, 2015

Dear AuPairMom —  Our family has had au pairs since 2008. We had some amazing aupairs some mediocre and some terrible experiences that resulted in rematches. So one would think that we went through so many situations, we now know how to pick the right au pair and we know when it’s time for rematch. […]

37 comments Read the full article →

Au Pair’s Dr. Host Dad insisting she receive Vitamin B shots? No. No. No.

by cv harquail February 19, 2015

This particular pair of host parents wins the prize for “Most Invasive Expectations”. I received an email from an au pair currently working in Europe. She writes: Hi AuPairMom– I don’t know any other au pairs and so I’m hoping to get some advice from you on this difficult situation. I have been living with […]

37 comments Read the full article →

Creepy, Crawly, Contagious Things- What if your Au Pair catches them too?

by cv harquail July 27, 2014
Gdaisy hair

(Reposted from our archives, since an Au Pair Asked…) When I became a mom I knew that that I would need to become accustomed to dealing with things that, pre-motherhood, had completely grossed me out. I’m talking about poopy diapers, vomit, bloody noses, fart jokes, and public belching. These were things that I would have […]

17 comments Read the full article →

Au Pair Asks: How Do I Ask Prospective Host Families About Guns in Their Home?

by cv harquail June 17, 2013

Following on our earlier post about guns in the home, here’s a different take on the issue. An au pair candidate writes to ask– How do I ask possible host families about whether they have weapons in their home? When I replied this au pair’s email, I mentioned to her that she’s the first au […]

60 comments Read the full article →

Au Pairs and Guns in Your House: Rules, Principles, and Having the Conversation

by cv harquail June 15, 2013
gun safety, au pair advice

I remember the first time my baby was invited to someone else’s house for a playdate, without me but with my au pair. The other child’s au pair had extended the invitation, but I called the other parents myself just to check in. I asked them all the usual questions– what time, where, allergies, any […]

12 comments Read the full article →