Special Halloween Edition

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays to share with Au Pairs. Unlike some holidays, Halloween doesn’t seem to trigger a whole lot of nostalgia and homesickness. For au pairs who ‘do’ Halloween in their home countries, it’s a chance for her to share traditions from her culture. And, if your au pair is new to Halloween, you get to introduce her to all the fun.

Over the years, we’ve done a lot of different things as a family to celebrate the holiday and the season, adjusting as the girls have gotten older. Halloween is one holiday where including our au pair in whatever we’re doing has increased the fun every time. Here are some Halloween activities you might consider:

1. Get your Au Pair a costume. At our house, I’ve always encouraged our au pairs to “get in the spirit” by putting together a costume. We’ve done the purchased costume from Target, the costume assembled from the kids’ dress up chest, and the completely original cardboard box “creature.”    

2. Bring your au pair to a Halloween Party. My daughters’ school has an annual Fall Festival, with a haunted hallway and square dancing, and we’ve always dragged our au pairs along. In part this gets me another set of eyes to watch the girls run around the auditorium, but also it gets our au pairs out into the community to see the Halloween fun that goes beyond just the candy.

3. Have your au pair greet the trick-or-treaters. One of our greatest Halloweens was when our 6 foot tall au pair dressed up as a witch and stood on our front porch, surrounded by jack ‘o lanterns and big fake spiders. She kept absolutely still– looking like a Halloween decoration– and at the moment the trick-or-treaters’ feet hit our steps, she let out a wild cackle.

Kids in our neighborhood still talk about it. One of the best scares ever.

4. Enlist your au pair to help with the candy distribution and collection. Having our au pair be on duty for Halloween evening means that we can take turns being at home to hand out candy and walking around with the kids to collect treats. Being the person who answers the door lets your au pair see the whole variety of costumes and kids, while going around the neighborhood (sometimes) lets her see what other people’s homes are like (another cultural exchange).

5. Find some Halloween crafts for her to do with your kids — like making scary food for the preK party.

6. Bring your au pair to a pumpkin patch.

7. Teach your au pair how to carve a pumpkin. Teach her how to salt & toast the seeds. Please also teach her to keep her face away from the pumpkin while she carves. Safety first.

8. Ask your au pair to play math games with the kids as they count, divide and trade their candy.

9. Invite your au pair to watch “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.” Explain to her why this show is/was such a tradition, and why it’s so sad. (This will also prepare her for traditions related to Charlie Brown’s Christmas, Rudolph, and The Grinch.)

What have you and your au pairs done to celebrate Halloween??

Halloween is a favorite holiday of… just about everyone.

I think it has become a quintessential American experience that every Au Pair should get involved in. But how should they get involved? Handing out candy at the house? Taking your kids out to trick or treat? Helping to make costumes? Or getting involved in the increasingly crazy young-adults-in-trashy-costumes scene?

Here’s a request from OB Host Mom:

My Au Pair just asked me if we NEED her this weekend (Halloween weekend) because she has been invited to go to Santa Barbara for the weekend.

I don’t know if everyone is aware, but Isla Vista/UCSB is a massive, drunken party over Halloween that can attract 30K people to the area. I know, because when I was 20, I took the long ride there to visit my BFF and spent a lot of it enjoying the “scene (hangovers and all)”.

The truth is we don’t NEED her this weekend. We asked her if she wanted to join us at the school carnival on Sat and invited her to go Trick or Treating with us on Sun … mostly to enjoy the kids and the holiday together. But I had encouraged her to go out in the evenings to check out the local activities and check out the crazy costumes one sees around town.

Here’s my dilemma:

My parental instinct is to say “you really shouldn’t go because it’s unsafe, there will be tons of underage drinking (she’s only 19), and the guys there were scumbags (albeit 20 years ago) who will really try to take advantage of you girls which increases the risk of something bad happening).”

The side of me that wants her to enjoy her time here as a young adult says “that’s a great opportunity (she does have an apartment to stay at with other AP’s — another host family has a place there), go for it, but be very careful of slimy guys and make sure you are back healthy to work on Monday”.

The family side of me thinks “But, Halloween is part of the ‘cultural exchange’ we like to have with our AP’s and you’ll miss Trick or Treating with us (least solid argument)”.

Given that Halloween is on the weekend this year, I suspect it will take much longer than the usual time to get from our town to SB, they might not arrive until after midnight on Friday, but the parties will probably still be in full force at that time. She promises they will take cabs around and be aware of drunk drivers to stay away from.

What other advice do you have for OB Mom?

See also:
9 Ways to Celebrate Halloween with your Au Pair
In Loco Parentis? Your Parental Responsibilities when your AP’s behavior challenges your values
Image: Drink != fly Some rights reserved by TheAlieness GiselaGiardino²³

Special Halloween Edition

Every Host Mom should teach her au pair about vampires. No, I don’t mean the Bill Compton kind of vampire, I mean the bill ELECTRIC kind of vampire.

[If you want to know more about Bill Compton, check these vids: "I'm Too Sexy..." (almost NSFW) or "Talking in Your Sleep." Apparently, these are more popular on YouTube than Colin Firth in P&P -- Unimaginable!)

But I digress.

One of my pet peeves (not just with au pairs but also with my husband and kids) is them (never me. Never.) leaving lights, computers, stereos, air conditioners, fans, and other electric things on while no one is actively using them.

I hear myself sounding just like my own mom: "Who left the lights on in the playroom?" "Will someone please turn off the lights in the playroom?" "If I have to go down in that playroom one more time to turn off the lights I think I'll scream (even louder)."

It is just pathetic.

Next week an electrician is coming to install some light fixtures, and he's going to install some motion sensitive switches in the playroom so that I never have to yell about that particular problem again. [Soon, too, I'll write the post: "Stop nagging and create mechanical systems to get what you want."] But I can’t put fancy switches on everything, so I still have to work hard to shape folks’ behavior around turnings things off.

Think about this:

Somewhere between 17-25 % of the electricity you use in your household is sucked away by vampires. Vampires are those rectangular black things on so many electric appliances that use a small amount of electricity to keep appliances in standby mode, or to recharge cordless things.

If you teach your au pair and your family about electric vampires, you might save a little money, a little bit of the environment, and a little bit of your own sanity.

Why do vampires matter?

In the spirit of energy efficiency, I quote and borrow from A. Seigel’s post at The Huffington Post , below. (Please go to his post for a fuller discussion and some great links.)

Vampire power … that little red light showing your TV as always ready for the remote control, even if you only watch it an hour a month. The cell phone or wireless phone charger burning up power even after the phone is fully charged (or even without the phone). The ‘sleeping’ computer. The xerox machine [air conditioner!!!!] left on through the four day weekend. The modem and wireless system. The nearly ubiquitous electronics of our lives.

Type of equipment  % of power used that is wasted by vampire

Cordless phone 66%
Televisions 25%
VCRs 30%
DVD players Up to 75%
Home audio equipment Up to 90%

Take a bite out of Vampires! Action Steps:

– Talk about "energy efficiency" and not only "being green." Research shows that the words "energy efficiency" get more attention from individuals than words like "sustainability" and "being green", because the term is specific rather than vague. It tells you what to do: Be more energy efficient.

– Buy your au pair (and yourself) some smartstrips to make it easier to be energy efficient.

– Put all of your au pair’s major and minor electronic devices on power strips. Use one power strip per ‘concept’ ( i.e., use one powerstrip for the computer, monitor, & printer, so that the flick of ONE switch turns it all off).

– Teach your au pair to use the switch on the power strip to easily turn off everything at once: the dvd, the TV/stereo spend easily 80+% of the time with the power strip off, with no electricity wasted.

– Unplug any charger devices that are not actively charging something. Don’t keep that phone charger plugged in 24/7, when you only recharge your phone every 3 days.

– Ask your au pair to come up with a game for your kids to get everyone to remember to turn off lights.

– Be a good role model.

Happy Halloween!