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guidelines

Eating Out at Restaurants: Advice for Host Families and Au Pairs

by cv harquail November 11, 2010

Our rocking, sane and helpful conversation about all things related to food at home has emboldened me (and maybe you) to tackle a specific food situation– eating out at restaurants. I’m thinking about the evenings when no one has the energy to cook and you’re tired of pizza, or when you’re dining ‘on the road’ [...]

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Is Your Host Family Handbook Too Long?

by cv harquail June 21, 2010

Eleven Au Pairs and 12 revisions after first being written, our Host Family Handbook is now, officially, “long”. Excluding examples of kids’ and au pairs’ schedules, and excluding the basic information about emergency phone numbers and the like, our rules/guidelines section runs 16 pages, with almost 4500 words. Is that too long? Host Family Handbook: [...]

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What exactly is a Host Family Handbook?

by cv harquail June 21, 2010

We’ve got a lit of different terms floating around to describe the written information that we give our au pairs. We call them handbooks, manuals, guidelines, and rules. (And who knows what our au pairs call them!) For the purposes of our conversations here on AuPairMom, let’s try to lock down the terminology. A Host [...]

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Tip: Insist on the Second-To-Last bus

by cv harquail June 16, 2010

One of our guidelines is: “Take the second to last bus or train home. Never count on being able to get the very last bus. Always make sure you have a backup.” You might look at that and think we are controlling– but underneath that guideline (like so many others) is a real story of [...]

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Are “crazy” Au Pair guidelines really all that crazy?

by cv harquail June 9, 2010

I laughed at the comment by Taking a Computer Lunch, on rules in her family handbook: My least favorite rule that I had to add – don’t burn candles and leave your room. Duh! As I look through our family handbook, there are some real doozies. My personal favorite is “In the evening, please do [...]

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Au Pair Guidelines: Does your car have a curfew? (Poll)

by cv harquail June 2, 2010

Our au pair car was a naughty, naughty car. Its very first year as an au pair car, it often stayed out kind of late. Once, it got left behind at a bar and didn’t make it back until Monday. Another time, it was hanging out 95 miles away from home, without permission, and tangled [...]

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Au Pair Guidelines: What’s a reasonable curfew? (Poll)

by cv harquail June 2, 2010

Do you have a curfew for your au pair on nights before she or he is scheduled to be on duty? Many Host Parents find that they need to be explicit about what time their au pair should be home, to make sure that she or he is ready to go the next morning. They [...]

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In Loco Parentis? Your Parental Responsibilities when your AP’s behavior challenges your values

by cv harquail June 1, 2010

As Host Parents, we have an odd role in our Au Pair’s lives. We are responsible for keeping them safe, housed, fed, and supported in their work with our children. And we also often play a role that I call Pseudo In Loco Parentis. Pseudo In Loco Parentis Like the fancy Latin? Years ago, women’s [...]

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Do Au Pairs need a ‘bill of rights’?

by cv harquail April 30, 2010

A reader sent me a link to an article in Slate, about a proposed ‘Bill of Rights” for domestic workers in New York State. (You can read the article in detail, here.) The proposed legislation would guarantee New York’s 200,000 domestic workers sick days, overtime, a day of rest, protection under discrimination laws, and notice [...]

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Help Your Au Pair Evaluate Potential Playdates

by cv harquail April 8, 2010

I firmly believe that working on your au pair relationship makes you a better parent, directly and indirectly. Any time you have to stop and reflect on your parenting principles and your priorities for your kid(s), you have the opportunity to become more mindful about what you’re up to with your family. Here’s one of [...]

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