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Uncommunicative Au Pair Turns Passive Aggressive

by cv harquail July 14, 2011

I believe in talking things out when you and your au pair have challenges. Awkwardly, tentatively, enthusiastically, skillfully, however you can manage it. If we can’t share what we think and ask for what we need, we can’t improve relationships. That said, what can we do when talking doesn’t work? Sometimes our talk hits a [...]

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When Facebook Information Raises Concerns: Should she match, or pass?

by cv harquail July 7, 2011

Oh, the complexities of Facebook. And the generation gap. And the generation gap regarding Facebook. If it’s “true” that “young people” use Facebook differently from us (slightly older) parent people: How much should we infer from an au pair applicant’s Facebook page? Now that many of us ask to ‘friend’ our au pairs and prospective [...]

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My Future Host Mom’s Sister is Creeping Me Out

by cv harquail November 28, 2010

Okay, “creeping me out” is clearly an American idiom that I have supplied as a headline, but that phrase seems to capture the dynamic going on for this cautious au pair. She’s matched with a family, and getting to know them through emails, etc. before she joins the family in a few months. The family [...]

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Checking Facebook for Insights About Your Au Pair’s Experience

by cv harquail October 13, 2010

Who needs to snoop in an au pair’s room or flip through an au pair’s journal, when there is Facebook to tell us our au pair’s inner thoughts? Not that any of us would intentionally snoop.  (As we’ve already discussed, there are very few and very specific times when snooping seems even remotely reasonable.) And, [...]

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O. M. G. My Au Pair is “Sexting”

by cv harquail December 29, 2009

I can’t even figure out how to begin this post! Where do you start, when you find out that your au pair is sending lewd photos of herself from her/your cellphone, and downloading lewd photos of someone else onto her/your computer? We got this request for advice from a host mom who is, to put [...]

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You’re on YouTube! Is that okay?

by cv harquail May 13, 2009

In the post Help: My Au Pair is Blogging about My Family!, we’ve addressed the question of how folks feel about their au pairs blogging about the family and/or posting information about the family on Facebook or MySpace. Lots of host parents weighed in with their opinions. We agreed that your family should have a [...]

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