The guidelines of the US Dept. of State regarding au pairs states that :

Au pairs may not be placed:

In families with a special needs child, as identified by the family. The au pair can work with a special needs child if s/he has identified prior experience, skill, or training in caring for special needs children. In this case, the the host family must review and acknowledged the prior experience, skills, or training in writing

This begs the question, then:

How are  au pairs without these experiences or formal training, who indicate that they are “willing”, legally placed with a family who has a child with special needs?

I’ve noticed that several agency websites explain that au pairs can care for children with special needs, and do not mention anything more than (for example): “When interviewing Au Pairs, Host Families will need to express in detail the special needs required as well as any qualifications their Au Pair will need.”

As far as I know (and please tell me if I’m wrong) only ProAuPair has a specialized program to identify au pairs with significant skills and training for working with children with special needs, ranging from occupational therapy to social work to pediatric nursing. (Note: link has been updated Nov 2010)

Many agencies will take note of candidates that have additional training and skills (like our au pair who had a Master’s Degree in Early Childhood Education) and can help families find a qualified au pair.

Is anyone able to clarify how this works?

Image: Camp Merrimack from Ashley Dinges

We’re 1 month into our first au pair and not sure if it’s going to be ok or not. Just to clarify we’re based outside the US so our au pair has not come to us through an agency, in fact she is American.

We have 3 kids, all under 6 and there is no language barrier as we didn’t want to have to worry about that. I’m a SAHM who needs help because one of our children has special needs and takes a lot of attention. We interviewed via email and skype prior to employing her and thought we were getting a reasonably bubbly, cheerful, outgoing au pair. We didn’t.

Our issues are:

1. Our au pair is not very enthusiastic with the children. She came with great references but I have already had to talk to her about how to engage the children and be more enthusiastic. I set up activities but because she approaches them with such a lack of enthusiasm they never last long. This is especially true with the younger two children who are not bonding well with her.

2. She never talks to us (HF) unless spoken to first, never initiates conversation and we get only limited responses when we try to open up a conversation. As a result talking can be quite painful. She very obviously wants to spend her time off away from the family which is something we can live with but the lack of communication when she is working does as it affects the atmosphere in the house. It’s even basic stuff like she will not communicate to us whether or not she is in or out for dinner unless we ask. I spoke to her about this and she told me she tends to take a backseat in a new situation and just observe until she feels comfortable, trouble is it’s been a month and it’s making us uncomfortable now.

I have spoken to her about both these issues and seen a little improvement with the children, but no improvement on the adult communication issue.   I’m not sure whether to keep ploughing on or whether to cut our losses now. Trouble is, because there is no agency back up, if it doesn’t work out with us she has to go home, though this is a risk she knew she was taking before she joined us.

She is only due to be with us for 5 months but it’s feeling like it could be a long time. Any thoughts on how to improve the situation?

thanks — KP in the UK

Molly: A Dog With A Lot On Her Mind from miscpix

From a press release issued by Cultural Care: CAMBRIDGE, Mass., April 10 /PRNewswire/

A young journalism student from Natal, Brazil who has shown compassion and dedication in his daily care for a special needs boy, has earned the distinction of being named the"International Au Pair of the Year". [Check out the YouTube video, which is a bit of promotional material for Cultural Care, but also tells the great story.]

Francisco Ricardo Silva de Araujo, au pair to the Boyer family of Richmond, Virginia was presented with the award at the 15th Annual International Au Pair Association Conference in Vienna, Austria on March 25th. The "Au Pair of the Year" Award honors au pairs who are caring, dependable and exceptional providers of childcare to their host family.

The Boyer family nominated Ricardo for this prestigious award because of his devotion to their son, Taylor. Taylor is multi-handicapped and does not speak. Ricardo wrote in his finalist essay, "I want to thank Taylor for all that he has taught me. His disability it is not an obstacle for his happiness. I came to America as an au pair, and I will leave a better human." A student of journalism at Universidade Federal do Rio Grande do Norte and former primary school assistant, Ricardo became an au pair for the opportunity to live in the United States and become part of a real American family.

The International Au Pair Association established the Au Pair of the Year Award to recognize the many great young men and women participating in the au pair program. Ricardo was selected out of hundreds of nominations from around the world from more than 50,000 host families.

"Ricardo is an exceptional young man, full of compassion, patience, gentleness, and a desire to see the disabled enjoy a life like yours and mine as much as possible. He never tires of encouraging Taylor to meet his challenges and reach beyond them whenever possible," says Kim Boyer, Ricardo’s host mother. "He has truly enhanced Taylor’s life in a way I never thought possible."

The International Au Pair Association is the global trade association for qualified au pair agencies actively engaged in the au pair industry. http://iapa.org