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Being fair

Would you ask your Au Pair to help out at someone else’s party?

by cv harquail January 22, 2012

Do you think it’s appropriate to ask an au pair to got to your kids’ school and help out at a birthday event there, for someone else’s kids? Here’s the email that prompts the question: Dear AuPairMom – I am mostly satisfied with the family I am working for. We’ve had a few problems but [...]

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Is it fair to schedule an Au Pair for Late Night baby feedings?

by cv harquail August 31, 2011

The help we need is the help we need. Depending on your situation as a host parent, you might need driving, or cooking help, or child-minding on weekends, or flexibility when a child is sick. We each ask our au pairs to help us with different childcare tasks. As long as the tasks are within [...]

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The Saturday Night Situation: When your Au Pair doesn’t think it’s fair that s/he’s on duty

by cv harquail May 21, 2011

There are two kinds of host family schedules — those that use up all of their 45 hours during the host parents’ Mon – Fri work week, and – those that don’t. I can pretty much guarantee you that if your host family schedule is the second kind, and you try to use your au [...]

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What can an Au Pair expect from a Host Family?

by cv harquail May 3, 2010

In the mirror post to this one, we’re generating a list of ways that families interpret and execute the rules, but with the effect of having the au pair feel mistreated. Here on this page is our chance to list what an au pair can expect from a family when both the family and the [...]

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Extra Hours: What’s fair pay when you break this taboo?

by cv harquail February 13, 2010

Many parents find that 45 hours a week is not enough childcare. Either you have an emergency late night at work, a kid home sick, a snow day, or a bookclub meeting. Some parents have work + commute combos that mean they’re away from home 10 hours a day, m-f, even if they stagger their [...]

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Settling Accounts — *Before* she departs

by cv harquail August 17, 2009

The comment from PA AuPair mom in the post about docking the au pair’s pay sent a chill down my spine, and reminded me that I need to write and post this bit of advice: Before your Au Pair leaves, be sure to settle all accounts with her. This advice is not for host parents [...]

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How much cleaning do you ask your Au Pair to do?

by cv harquail January 6, 2009

Housework. The contested terrain. Just what housework tasks are appropriate to ask your au pair to do? "The rules" say that your au pair is in charge of things related to the kids. BUT since the kids shared the house with at least one adult, there is always some overlap as well as jointly-created mess. [...]

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When your Au Pair complains about working too many hours, but still less than 45… what can you do?

by cv harquail August 4, 2008

A Host mom/reader, Acicala, wrote in a comment/question last week that hit me right in the pit of my stomach, because this particular problem has been the source of nearly all the “APA” (AuPairAnxiety) that I have experienced as a host mom. The problem, in a nutshell, is when your Au Pair begins to complain [...]

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