If your au pair had a valid license from his or her own country when s/he arrived, did you require him or her to get a US driver’s license before driving your cars?

States laws, insurance policies and host parent preferences vary a LOT on this particular topic. Sometimes there isn’t even a clear answer about what is actually “required”. For example, in our town the police officers get upset if you don’t have a US license and have even ticketed a au pair or two, even though state lae says that using an international driver’s license is legal. What to do?

Says Host Mom JJ:

Our LCC says that au pairs must get a US driver’s license before driving.

However it seems like most other host families I know of do not do that, and I’m wondering if I’m being unnecessarily strict.

• Our insurance has a short grace period but then requires getting a US driver’s license.

• Our state law (California) says that residents must obtain a license after 10 days, but that visitors can drive indefinitely using their home license. It doesn’t, however, define “resident” or “visitor.”

Personally I feel more comfortable knowing that the au pair has taken the time to learn local laws and driving customs before she drives our cars. (We don’t strictly need our au pair to drive, although it would be very nice for her and for us if she did.) So far I’ve been conservative and maintained that if she wants to drive, she’ll need to get a local license.

What do other parents do?

Other thoughts? Please share them in the comments!

I get a lot of crap from people about the safety rules at our house. Apparently we’re a little strict.

Probably our most prominent safety rules have to do with driving. For example, I don’t use my cellphone when I drive. I just don’t.

I’m that person who waits ’till she gets where she’s going, then parks and checks the phone. Or, I’m the person who puts on her blinker, pulls over to the side of the road, and then returns the call.

If someone else is in the car with me, I ask them to answer the phone for me. My kids even know to say, ‘Hi my mom’s driving so I’m answering her phone. May I help you?” My friends and family (usually the only folks who call me on my cell vs. at my office) don’t seem all that annoyed to have to wait a few minutes for me to call them back.

With our own au pairs, I’ve been pretty much of a hard ass about texting, talking on or using the cell phone in any way when our au pairs drive — either for their personal use or with the kids. If our au pairs use the cell phone when they are driving, they lose the privilege of having the car for personal use. That’s just how it is.

Parents should be safety role models

Using a hand-held cell phone is illegal in my state (of New Jersey). But I see moms and dads using their cell phones as they drive, all the time. All over town.

I wonder what kind of role model they are being for their children, their friends, and maybe even their kids’ caregivers.

My colleague Dan tipped me off to the video, below, as a great example of ’cause marketing‘… and I think it is also a great example of why safety rules matter. Watch it and see why– it’s only 30 seconds.

Find more videos like this on AdGabber

We Parents Know Better

Once upon a time, wearing seat belts was the crazy thing we learned to require of ourselves, our kids and our au pairs. We did it to keep ourselves and others safe. It took a while for some au pairs to get adjusted to this rule, and I’m sure a few grumbled about it, but they ultimately made it a habit. Now, using safety belts is required by law.

The new behavior we need to adopt to keep us safe is to NOT use cell phones when we drive. Period.  Sure, it’s more convenient just to answer the phone– why bother even pulling over? It will only take a second. Right.

Behind every safety rule, no matter how annoying or inconvenient, is the same principle:

We follow these rules because life is precious.

Want Safe Driving? Forbid your Au Pair to use the cellphone in the car. Period.
Using Your Car is a Privilege, not an Entitlement: Best practices
After the Car Accident: Advice on what to talk about with your Au Pair

How do you and your au pair keep track of her personal use of your shared car, so that she pays for her own gas while you pay for the gas used when she’s on duty?

I must admit, I’ve had the luxury of (most times) having a third car that was pretty much only used by our au pair. She was responsible for the gas herself. When I (rarely) needed to use that car instead of my own (like when I just didn’t want to move it out of the driveway just to go to Quick Chek), I’d leave a few dollars in the console, or put some gas in myself.

Sometimes we have that luxury of a whole separate "au pair car", other times we just give up and pay for the au pair’s personal use of the car (when times are flush, gas prices are low, and she doesn’t’ drive much anyway). But what about the in-between? What advice do you have for Maya?

As Maya writes:

I have tried to estimate how much driving will be needed for my kids in order to give her gas money at the beginning of the month for kid’s driving and the rest would be her costs, but it fluctuates so significantly that I have no idea on how to even approach this.

I mean, there are seriously months where there would less then 100 miles of kid driving required, it was the case with October and November, and now December, and some moths where that would be close to 400 miles, which will be January, March, and April. February and then May and on, there will be barely any driving at all, so we are back to about 60-70 miles per month.

It would feel strange to me to keep giving her different amounts for gas every month, but then as gas prices fluctuate, the gas money would fluctuate too, so may be this is not that strange at all.

(See the rest of Maya’s comment, here.)

Has anyone had success using a mileage log? Or a trip odometer? Do tell!