au pair problems

Au Pairs, Don’t Even THINK About Driving For Uber

by cv harquail January 18, 2017

When I saw the first mention of this in the comments several weeks ago, I was surprised. Au Pairs driving the Host Family car as a second job? What Au Pair would even presume s/he could use the Host Parents car to drive on off-duty hours to earn some extra money? With the Host Parents’ car?  […]

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Au Pair’s Room Is Also the Playroom. The Laundry Room. And the …

by cv harquail October 7, 2016

Here’s another email that indirectly points out how important it is that US Au Pairs and Host Families have State Department Regulations that make certain conditions mandatory. This Au Pair, writing from Europe, has discovered that her Host Family family expects the Au Pair bedroom to also be the “playroom”. US Au Pair regulations require that an […]

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Interviewing Extension Au Pairs: Special Questions?

by cv harquail August 3, 2016

A companion question to the post on Interviewing Rematch Au Pairs: Special Questions? With Extension Au Pairs, the number one question I’d have is — Why aren’t you staying with your current host family? I can think of a million perfectly acceptable reasons for wanting to have a different family for an extension. Seeing a different […]

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Chatting With Other Host Moms…In Real Life

by Frances Scher June 28, 2016
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Frances Scher here again… I’ve been brainstorming this idea lately, and want to get some feedback. When we first started out hosting au pairs, my husband and I expected to meet a lot of other host families. Then we would know someone who had been down this road before and would be able to give firsthand […]

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Layers of Au Pair Problems…Leading to Rematch?

by cv harquail November 9, 2015

This Host Mom’s got it all falling apart. Little seems to be going as expected. When this Host Mom emailed, I’d suggested to her that maybe it would be easier if we separated the topics and had one post for #1 and another for #2 & #3– but they feel too connected in the Host Mom’s […]

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Gentle Ways to Let Go of Your Departed Au Pair

by cv harquail October 24, 2015

Letting go of an Au Pair you’ve loved having as part of your family can be really, really hard. Really hard. Of course, it’s a nice problem to have … but it’s still a challenge. After all, you’ve had a wonderful year with your Au Pair — s/he’s been happy, the kids have been happy, you’ve been […]

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Responding to Surprise Request From Departing, So-So Au Pair

by cv harquail July 24, 2015
hope abrams

Speaking of Au Pairs and a sense of Entitlement, Washingtomom writes:  Our Au Pair just sprung what I hope will be her last ‘surprise’ request of us. How should I respond? We are at the end of our AP’s year, final date is August 7th. She extended with another family and the supposed start date […]

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How to Fix It When Your Au Pair Starts Out On The Wrong Foot

by cv harquail June 29, 2015

Four weeks in, and your Au Pair still isn’t doing what you’d expected. Worse, s/he’s not doing what you need.   You’ve finished up her formal orientation and in-home training, but your Au Pair hasn’t stepped up to fill the role. Is there anything you can do? There are two kinds of early performance problems. The first […]

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My Brother is Dating My Au Pair – Against My Wishes

by cv harquail June 15, 2015

Usually it helps to think about your Au Pair as ‘part of the family’. S/he lives with you, sees what’s behind the scenes, and knows some of your family drama.  Because we do integrate our Au Pairs into our family lives, situations come up that– were s/he a live-out nanny or part time babysitter — would […]

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What are a Host Family’s Responsibilities for Au Pair Medical Claims?

by cv harquail June 13, 2015

Seems like it’s the season for medical and health concerns. Here’s another recent wrinkle of the question– what are a Host Family’s responsibilities for an Au Pair’s medical expenses? I am writing because I find myself in a tough spot and our former au pair in an even tougher spot. Our Au Pair ended her […]

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