One of our moms has an au pair challenge that combines two of the most frustrating au pair-related problems:

(1) Her au pair doesn’t always tell the truth, and

(2) her au pair doesn’t seem to appreciate what the host mom & family have to offer her.

To top that off, our host mom hasn’t had a great experience (yet) with au pairs as a concept– so she has more hope than proof that au pairs can be great.

(Dawn, how old is your ap, and what country is she from?)

Here are the elements of Dawn’s situation:

Background:

We have our 4th au pair. I have 3 little girls 8, 5, 2.5. Our AP has been with us since Sept. (4 months now).

We have not had much luck with au pairs: 1st went home after 6 months to go back to get her Masters. 2nd: from Maldova and was fostering an immigration ring (but it did not work). 3rd was a rematch and was a nightmare and now this….we do not have any great feelings about this whole AP deal.

Problems with untruthfulness:

My biggest issue is she lies–she busted the van and we questioned her about it for 2 days until she fessed up–it was a hit and run…not good. We did not approach her in a threatening manner. This was not quite 2 months into the contract. Since then, she has done other things–more lying, that I am having a difficult time with. She bold face lied to me again today about an incident, her story does not add up. Now I am getting a taste of having a teenager..ugh.

Problems with generally being inconsiderate:

The first couple of weeks, I went with her to a couple of churches as we did not have a young adult group. We found her one. I dropped her off at 7pm and we discussed picking her up at 9pm sharp. I waited until 920 then called her phone. She was “talking with some friends”. I told her I was waiting and had much to do at home. 10 minutes later, I called her phone again and she told me she had found a ride home. I was furious!! The next day she told me that I treated her like a teenager. My response was, I would expect more of a teenager.

Not particularly appreciative:

We take her to Taekwondo with us, as it is our family activity, and we pay for her to attend. She really enjoys it but just does not see what we have done.

At Christmas, we got her a leather binder folder for when she goes to school. She immediately started going through the pockets to see if there was anything more in it…We also got her some other gifts but she just seemed like “so”.

And ..

She comes from a strong Christian family (as are we) and so I would expect some of these behaviors would be non-existent.

She is good with the kids, to the best of our knowledge but is lazy and will leave things despite my instructions.

Your thoughts?

Anyhow, not sure what we should do? any advice? I am ready to pull out my hair. Dawn