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au pair advice

Au Pair Advice: She’s using *my* coffee mug!

by cv harquail March 17, 2010

We host parents can be a weird bunch. The kinds of things that drive us crazy… no wonder it can be hard for au pairs to get adjusted! Over the weekend I heard a crazy lament that I want to share with you. My friend has a new au pair, who’s been with them about [...]

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6 Reasons why your Au Pair should NOT work a second job

by cv harquail March 6, 2010

We’ve talked recently about the issues related to having an au pair work extra hours for the host family, and we’ve also talked about whether you should let your au pair babysit for your friends. But we haven”t talked about whether you should permit your au pair to work at another job. “Why haven’t we [...]

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Our Au Pair is not the cheerful girl we expected. Now what?

by cv harquail February 15, 2010

We’re 1 month into our first au pair and not sure if it’s going to be ok or not. Just to clarify we’re based outside the US so our au pair has not come to us through an agency, in fact she is American. We have 3 kids, all under 6 and there is no [...]

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Extra Hours: What’s fair pay when you break this taboo?

by cv harquail February 13, 2010

Many parents find that 45 hours a week is not enough childcare. Either you have an emergency late night at work, a kid home sick, a snow day, or a bookclub meeting. Some parents have work + commute combos that mean they’re away from home 10 hours a day, m-f, even if they stagger their [...]

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Is Snooping in your Au Pair’s room ever okay?

by cv harquail February 6, 2010

I got an email from “Undercover Host Mom” — she is struggling with this dilemma: Although we have a strict and absolute non-smoking policy, and discussed this before we matched with our au pair, I have come to wonder whether she is smoking in our car and maybe even in the house. (It’s hard to [...]

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Moms & Au Pairs: Can I hold us to different tv rules?

by cv harquail February 4, 2010

I’m a believer that different members of a family have different privileges and responsibilities, depending on their roles and their ages. Parents have more privileges than do children, and employers have more privileges than do employees. The rules that we follow can be different, as long as they are fair. Nobody, and I mean nobody, [...]

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Au Pair Abruptly Quits, then wants to come back to see kids. Really? (poll)

by cv harquail January 28, 2010

Here’s a painful situation, about which this host mom could use some good advice. I’m sure that this kind of situation has happened to other families who’ve gone into rematch [Something similar happened to us with our flame-out au pair, and so reading this mom's email got me all mad all over again. What went [...]

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Agency Policies on Withholding Pay: What are they? Calling all LCCs …

by cv harquail January 25, 2010

Let’s see if we can get some clarity on this question once and for all, and without me calling or email all the agencies to get the official answers. May I call on the LCCs who read AuPairMom, and ask you to tell us what your agency’s official policy is? I’m talking “Official” policy, not [...]

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Took the car for the weekend & lied: Should I report car stolen?

by cv harquail January 23, 2010

The quick answer? Only if you’re ready to rematch, and Only if you are ready to have your au pair hate you. And you may well be ready for that, if this situation is what it’s boiled down to: I actually just found this great blog because I believe my au pair has stolen our [...]

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EduCare or Regular Au Pair?

by cv harquail January 11, 2010

Have you ever compared the EduCare program to the the regular Au Pair program? If you’ve chosen the EduCare, what swung you over? And, what’s your experience been with EduCare Au Pairs? What’s the EduCare Program? From the website of the US Department of State: The Au Pair program includes the EduCare component. The EduCare [...]

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