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au pair advice

Don’t Let BedBugs Take a Bite out of Your Au Pair Relationship

by cv harquail January 13, 2012

As a host parent, you’ve worried about car accidents, flu shots and even head lice. But did you ever think you’d need to worry about bedbugs? HMJ didn’t think so. But now, bedbug-related fears — all very reasonable — are challenging her relationship to her terrific Au Pair. Dear AuPairMom – We are 18 months [...]

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Damage to the Au Pair Room: Should we have a security deposit?

by cv harquail November 2, 2011

We’ve had some funny and not so funny stories about damage to our homes by au pairs who were clueless (at best), careless (most often) and intentionally destructive (nightmare). Everything from soaked ceilings under the au pair bathroom, to hair dye on the bathroom walls, to nail polish on the fancy sheets. We have a decent handle on what to expect [...]

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The Au Pair Guide Tumblr: Advice for Au Pairs

by cv harquail June 24, 2011

A soon-to-be au pair emailed me last month to let me know she’s started a Tumblr (a simplified blog) to offer advice to au pairs. The blog, The Au Pair Guide, will cover questions and answers, au pair to au pair. She’ll also be sharing from her own experience as she leaves the USA to [...]

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What if Au Pairs came with their own “Handbook”?

by cv harquail April 16, 2011

For every new host family, our #1 recommendation is to write a family handbook. Most of us here at Au Pair Mom firmly believe that getting our household rules and family-related expectations down on paper helps us be clearer about what is important to us as host parents, family members, and heads of household. Plus, [...]

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When should we send our Family Handbook to our incoming au pair?

by cv harquail January 6, 2011

As every reader of this blog knows, we are big fans of the concept of the Family Handbook. And by “we” I don’t mean the royal  moi, but all of us host parents (and even au pairs). It really helps to create a handbook to get your expectations and needs out into clear language, and [...]

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My Au Pair is Stealing Little Items: Should I rematch?

by cv harquail December 16, 2010

This query was tucked away in a previous post: Tough Topic: When your au pair steals from you. I thought it deserved its own, up-to-the-minute conversation. From Host Mom Pippa: I just last week caught our au pair stealing little items from us, confronted her, and then caught her the next day stealing more. AP [...]

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5 Tips to Help Your Au Pair Prepare Healthy Meals for Kids

by cv harquail September 29, 2010

Sometimes, I get really envious of host families whose au pairs know how to cook. I mean really know how to cook– au pairs who will suggest meals, create something new out of a chicken breast, and clip a recipe from People Magazine. We have never had an au pair who is an accomplished cook, [...]

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Au Pair Asks: How can I gently decline my Host Mom’s advice?

by cv harquail April 26, 2010

One of my guilty pleasures as a host mom has been to think that I’ve been able to give my au pairs some good advice. After all, I’ve had a lot of life experience, I’m opening-minded, I have relevant professional experience, and — let’s face it– I usually know what I’m talking about (grin). Therefore, [...]

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When Your Au Pair Breaks Your Psychological Contract

by cv harquail April 24, 2010

[ Note: I think this might be the longest AuPairMom post I've ever written. It was a long train ride and I think I got carried away.] Host families and au pairs call it mutual expectations, and management scholars call it the “psychological contract”. The idea behind a psychological contract is that we agree to [...]

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Abandoned by au pair, left with plane ticket

by cv harquail March 18, 2010

This just in from a Host Mom in London. I think she’s asking for two kinds of advice: how to manage the vacation childcare, and how to manage her feelings of being, um, irked: Hi, we have a 19 yr old au pair from Sweden who has been with us for 5 months after committing [...]

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