au pair advice

Au Pairs, Don’t Even THINK About Driving For Uber

by cv harquail January 18, 2017

When I saw the first mention of this in the comments several weeks ago, I was surprised. Au Pairs driving the Host Family car as a second job? What Au Pair would even presume s/he could use the Host Parents car to drive on off-duty hours to earn some extra money? With the Host Parents’ car?  […]

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Layers of Au Pair Problems…Leading to Rematch?

by cv harquail November 9, 2015

This Host Mom’s got it all falling apart. Little seems to be going as expected. When this Host Mom emailed, I’d suggested to her that maybe it would be easier if we separated the topics and had one post for #1 and another for #2 & #3– but they feel too connected in the Host Mom’s […]

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Gentle Ways to Let Go of Your Departed Au Pair

by cv harquail October 24, 2015

Letting go of an Au Pair you’ve loved having as part of your family can be really, really hard. Really hard. Of course, it’s a nice problem to have … but it’s still a challenge. After all, you’ve had a wonderful year with your Au Pair — s/he’s been happy, the kids have been happy, you’ve been […]

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Should You Tell Another Host Mom That Her Au Pair Is Planning To Bail?

by cv harquail October 12, 2015

“It takes a village.” That’s what my mom friends and I say when we talk about seeing each other’s kids do naughty things. In my bookclub we have a actual pact– if we see something, we say something. There’s a way that this agreement can feel kindof nosy. How can you tell Violet’s mom that […]

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Responding to Surprise Request From Departing, So-So Au Pair

by cv harquail July 24, 2015
hope abrams

Speaking of Au Pairs and a sense of Entitlement, Washingtomom writes:  Our Au Pair just sprung what I hope will be her last ‘surprise’ request of us. How should I respond? We are at the end of our AP’s year, final date is August 7th. She extended with another family and the supposed start date […]

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How to improve your Au Pair relationship in just one minute

by cv harquail July 11, 2015
cat in hat saying WORD

If I told you that you could improve your relationship with your au pair in just one minute, would you try it? Sure you would. You’re a busy host mom (or dad), juggling many demands and competing priorities. And, you’re a busy host mom who wants her au pair to know when she is doing […]

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How to Fix It When Your Au Pair Starts Out On The Wrong Foot

by cv harquail June 29, 2015

Four weeks in, and your Au Pair still isn’t doing what you’d expected. Worse, s/he’s not doing what you need.   You’ve finished up her formal orientation and in-home training, but your Au Pair hasn’t stepped up to fill the role. Is there anything you can do? There are two kinds of early performance problems. The first […]

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When Au Pair Candor Hurts Your Host Parent Feelings

by cv harquail May 18, 2015

We Host Parents want our Au Pairs to be truthful with us. Whether the topic is homesickness, feelings of depression, concerns about children’s behavior, or even our own emotional situations, we want our au pairs to tell us how they see things.  As Americans, we believe that candor (being forthcoming) and honesty (telling the truth) […]

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Energetic Male Au Pair Lacks Judgment. Should we rematch?

by cv harquail May 6, 2015

Dear AuPairMom —  Our family has had au pairs since 2008. We had some amazing aupairs some mediocre and some terrible experiences that resulted in rematches. So one would think that we went through so many situations, we now know how to pick the right au pair and we know when it’s time for rematch. […]

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Au Pair’s Dr. Host Dad insisting she receive Vitamin B shots? No. No. No.

by cv harquail February 19, 2015

This particular pair of host parents wins the prize for “Most Invasive Expectations”. I received an email from an au pair currently working in Europe. She writes: Hi AuPairMom– I don’t know any other au pairs and so I’m hoping to get some advice from you on this difficult situation. I have been living with […]

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