When an au pair has guests come to visit, it is tempting for the Host Parents to give the au pair lots of ‘extras’– extra time off, extra flexibility, extra food and space, and basically to try to accommodate their au pair’s expected desire to spend time with the visiting friend or family member.
This willingness by host parents usually comes from two places:
(1) their affection for their au pair, and
(2) their understanding that if they don’t accommodate proactively in some way, stuff will fall apart at the edges as they try to react to things that aren’t working.
We already discussed some of the important things that you should talk about with your au pair when she has guests, in a few previous post: Your House Is Not A Youth Hostel. Remember that: your house is NOT a youth hostel. But apparently there’s still stuff to cover, and this Host Mom’s request might help us fill out our list of all that a host parent needs to anticipate when an au pair has guests visiting.
Before I post this host mom’s request– some caution:
- Her au pair has only been with her a little more than 3 months… In my book, that is much too soon to be hosting that au pair’s guest.
- Plus, the guest is coming for two weeks, again counter to best practice, where visits are just as long as you can stand (and that being probably about a week).
- Even worse, this host mom has already had some issues with this au pair being hard to motivate and hard to satisfy, despite being lovely and nice with the kids (more on that in a future post). So, the set up here isn’t great.
Still, this host mom can make it work– if we help her out a bit more. Here’s the request, from Momof4 :
Our current au pair has been with us for 3 months and her brother is coming for a 2 week visit next month (around the 4 month mark). We are totally open to her having family visit, but since this will be our first experience, I have some concerns about how this will affect our day to day during her work week. She will have only been with us for 4 months, so she will have earned 2 vacation days and have her 2 normal weekends off while he is visiting. I know she will want to spend time with her brother on a day to day basis, show him the sites, go on day trips, etc. which is wonderful, especially since she’s been feeling homesick lately. Anyway, any advice on how to work with her schedule during these 2 weeks?
I have 4 children (2 who attend preschool 3 mornings a week & 2 infants home all day with me). Needless to say, it’s pretty much non-stop around here from 6am to 6pm with activity. I am a stay-at-home mom and don’t want to disrupt the children’s routine too much since it takes just about a week to get everyone back on track again whenever we have any type of changes in the household, but I definitely want to be as flexible as I can so she can entertain her brother!