Rematch Policies and Procedures

Let’s create a page of rematch policies and procedures for different agencies.

I’ll begin to brainstorm some of the information we’ll need, and we can expand and organize from there…

When Rematch is Requested:

  • Agency
  • Official Rematch Policy– an actual quote from the contract or website
  • Is mediation (by LCC) required?
  • Who houses the outgoing au pair?
  • How are refunds/education allowances, etc. handled?

Regarding a Rematch Au Pair:

  • Can the interviewing host family contact the host family he or she is leaving?

Please add details from your experience in the comments below, and then I will transfer them into a table to repost here.
Please do your very best to give accurate factual information about policy, as well as your experienc of the policies ‘in action’.

{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }

azmom April 18, 2011 at 11:54 am

Interexchange: Families cannot speak with current host family, unless the # of the transition au pair is a home phone and you happen to catch that person on the phone. You can speak with the LCC – I had good experience with this and they were honest and forth-coming. I chose to get an out of country au pair, but our outgoing one did get new families, when our LCC was not supportive of her and did not give an overall good view of her. However, there were VERY few under 2 qualified au pairs in country at the time.


Anna April 18, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Interexchange (Au Pair USA) also (adding things not mentioned before):
The rematch is done during a three -way meeting with an LCC. It is not required to wait etc. if the decision has been made.

Housing the outgoing au pair: an LCC houses her if the family doesn’t want her to work or to stay with them for two weeks (if there are good reasons for this, like an unfriendly rematch – the family cannot just kick out the au pair)

The part I really like is how finances are accounted for. Everything is settled; vacation and education money is prorated and paid back by the parties to each other.

I also like “no reassignment locally” rematch policy. It makes it hard for the au pair to “shop” for a new family while living with the first one, and it prevents the rumors and ill talk going around the cluster.

I am now in rematch and there are no under 2 qualified in country au pairs available for me to interview; of course situation can change daily.

Also, the agency’s main office can rule over the LCC recommendation on whether or not to allow an au pair in rematch to go to another family, and they don’t err on the side of caution for the families, from my experience. Once it happened to us (LCC recommended and the main office first said she will go home; then she sweettalked the main office into her third chance that year). Now we are in rematch with a true case of child neglect and abandonment, I am waiting to see if they will send her home or not.

policies quote from their booklet for host families:

“Transitions & Reassignment

Au Pair USA refers to the process of ending the host family/au pair relationship early as a “transition”. Although it is a problem faced by few families and au pairs, transitions do happen. A transition occurs when a family and their
au pair decide that they are truly incompatible, or there are extenuating circumstances which lead the host family and au pair to end their relationship with one another, and that a reassignment or withdrawal from the program are the only options available to them. An au pair and/or host family will only be considered for reassignment once a local coordinator assesses the situation.

Three-point meeting
A “three-point meeting” between the local coordinator, host family and au pair allows everyone to discuss the problems and come to a common decision about how to proceed. This can simply be a meeting to discuss the situation, or it can be a
meeting to discuss re-assignment. Any party can ask for a three-point meeting if they feel they need the local coordinator’s assistance. In many cases, the problems can be worked out and the au pair and host family can remain together.

Ending the placement
If it is decided that the relationship will end early, the local coordinator will go through the following information and complete some Au Pair USA forms. These will provide the NY office with a report about the transition and will make recommendations about how to proceed. It is also necessary to clarify any outstanding financial obligations such as vacation and educational
allowance owed and outstanding bills such as telephone, gym, etc. Bringing closure to these issues with the au pair and the host family will be beneficial to everyone. InterExchange Au Pair USA will assist au pairs and host families to resolve their
issues, but we cannot be responsible for determining or collecting any outstanding debts owed to either party. The following information is provided to help resolve any outstanding financial issues that may exist between the host family and the au

Au pair stipend
Au pairs receive a stipend for each week they fulfill their duties as an au pair. Au pairs that leave their host family and stay with their local coordinator or a temporary family while waiting for a new placement, or au pairs that stay with their present
host family but are not providing childcare duties are considered to be “temp-housed” and are not entitled to the stipend.

Au pair debts to the host family
Au Pairs are responsible for any outstanding telephone bills or miscellaneous items that they may owe to the host family. Au pairs and host families must resolve these issues together before the au pair leaves the host family’s home. Once the au pair
leaves the host family’s home it becomes increasingly difficult for the host family and the au pair to resolve these issues, and there is very little that InterExchange Au Pair USA can do at this point.

Au pairs accrue one day per month of vacation after the first month. Au pairs are to receive $25/day for unused vacation that the au pair earned prior to the transition. Au pairs who used vacation that they had not fully earned, will be required to
reimburse the host family for those days, at $25/day. (For more information on determining vacation time, please refer to page 52.)

Au pairs receive $500 for the year from the host family to complete the Educational Requirement of the Au Pair Program as mandated by the US State Department. Should an au pair leave their host family prior to the end of the year, they are to receive $42/month for each month they were an au pair with their present host family, to be used for educational courses already taken, or future educational pursuits in their new host family’s community only. Should the au pair have received
all or part of their educational stipend prior to leaving the family early, the au pair is required to reimburse the family $42/ month for time that was not earned.
Please Note: Local coordinators and Au Pair USA staff will do everything possible to assist host families and au pairs communicate with each other and resolve issues, but we are unable to collect funds that either party may feel they are due.
It is in your own best interest to resolve financial issues prior to the au pair leaving the host family’s home.

Transition Policies

One-month no-move policy

Au Pair USA believes that it takes at least one month for both the au pair and the host family to adjust to their new living situation, and for the au pair to adjust to living in a new culture. Therefore, the program’s policy is that all parties allow for
a minimum of four weeks before either party decides that they would like to change au pairs/host families. This is intended to provide time for the host parents, children and au pair to get to know one another. After this initial settling in period,
when everything is new to the au pair, the children are warming to their new caregiver and the parents are growing more comfortable with the au pair, most placements prove to be successful.

Two-week notice
Au Pair USA enforces a two-week notice policy after the family and the au pair have decided to terminate their relationship. This requires the host family and au pair to stay together for 2 weeks from the time their transition papers are received in
the New York office. This policy was initiated to secure housing for the au pair until he/she can go to another host family. This two weeks may also benefit the host family in transition by giving them time to find back up childcare, or if possible, to be
placed with another au pair. If the au pair wants to leave but the host family is abiding by the program rules and regulations, the au pair should stay. The
au pair should remember that this is the polite, mature and responsible course of action, that the au pair should be on her/his best behavior during this time and that Au Pair USA will be monitoring her/his behavior.

No eviction
A host family may never evict an au pair from their home. The host family has agreed to sponsor this au pair. The au pair’s natural parents are trusting that this family will take care of their child while he/she is thousands of miles away from home.
The host family should not lose sight of the fact that these are young adults without many contacts here in the USA. If a host family tries to evict an au pair, they are violating the spirit of the cross-cultural exchange and the requirements of
program participation. Such action raises red flags as to whether the family was in line with the “au pair is a family member” philosophy and cultural exchange aspects of this program. In this case, Au Pair USA will reconsider whether the family is
suitable for this type of exchange program.

No reassignment locally
The au pair must understand that Au Pair USA will not reassign an au pair locally. Many au pairs would like to remain in the area where they have established friends, course work, or simply enjoy the region. This is generally not possible as the most
appropriate host family may be several states away. The goal is to re-match the au pair with the most appropriate family so that he/she can successfully complete the year.

No self-matching
Au pairs wishing to be reassigned must do so through the transitions office of InterExchange. Au pairs are not allowed to find their own host family or arrange their own match. This is because InterExchange usually has many host families who need
to be matched quickly with an au pair. Au pairs in transition need to be open-minded to a new placement.

Difficult re-matches
If an au pair is in transition because of inappropriate behavior, poor English language skills, or poor driving ability, it may be difficult to find a new family for the au pair. If no family can be found within the two-week transition period, the au pair will
have to return home at his/her own expense. While most qualified au pairs are re-matched, due to the unpredictable nature of transitions, we cannot guarantee that all au pairs will be able to find a new host family. If one cannot be found, the au pair
will have to return home at his/her own expense. Host families with children under the age of two and/or more than three children should note that it may be difficult to rematch them in a timely manner. For this reason, we strongly recommend that host families research alternative forms of short-term childcare.

Program Violations
Host families who have broken the program regulations or have mistreated the au pair in violation of InterExchange’s policies or the “spirit of the program” will not be re-matched with another au pair and will be cancelled from the program.
Host families who show a pattern of unsuccessful matches will be asked to leave the program.

Au pairs who violate program regulations will be cancelled from the program and will have to return to their home immediately at their own expense.

Self-repatriation (leaving the program)
Every au pair who joined the Au Pair USA program agreed to participate in the Au Pair USA program for a full 12 months. As a responsible adult, au pairs should honor this agreement. If an au pair decides to break this agreement and return home,
they must provide InterExchange with a copy of travel information. Failure to do so will result in their visa being terminated Any au pair who leaves the host family without contacting InterExchange will be considered off the program. We are required
to alert Department of Homeland Security and will do so. Having such information on your record could prevent you and your family from being able to obtain another visa to the USA or other countries.

Back-up Childcare
InterExchange does not guarantee to provide continuous childcare from au pairs. During a transition, a family may be without an au pair for several weeks while waiting for a new match. For this reason, it is important that families have backup
plans for childcare not only during transitions, but also throughout the year.
Once the participants are reassigned, the host family and the au pair should note that the local coordinator is required to be in contact with the host family and the au pair who has been reassigned, twice monthly for the first two months following
the reassignment.
Au Pair USA is aware that transitions are an extremely stressful time for all parties. The New York office works as quickly as possible in these situations to reassign the au pair and the host family. The New York transition team is always aware of
the pressing childcare needs of families and the inconvenience the two-week notice may impose on a family. However, the ultimate goal is to find the best match for the family and the au pair to help ensure a successful reassignment.

Au pairs accrue one day per month of vacation after the first month. Au pairs are to receive $32/day for unused vacation that the au pair earned prior to the transition. Au pairs who used vacation that they had not fully earned, will be required to
reimburse the host family for those days, at $32/day.


calif mom April 18, 2011 at 11:44 pm

Someone wrote this with a straight face and good intentions, no doubt, but “transition is very rare” AND “we usually have many families needing an au pair immediately” just aren’t compatible concepts!


Anna April 21, 2011 at 9:23 am

They actually are compatible.
If transition is rare (percentwise; say for example 80% of matches succeed), if the agency is large enough, than 20% families yearly in transition does add up to “many families needing an au pair immediately”

First statement could apply to individual family; second – to the small chance of the transition event multiplied by a large number (total number of families)


Pamela December 18, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Hi please could you tell me what book this info is in as I can’t seem to find it and my LC is not very helpful.I am in transition so please let me know ASAP as it would help me please. Thank you


Calif Mom December 19, 2011 at 11:00 am

Pamela, if you can’t get the answer from your counselor call the agency headquarters right away. Each agency has different rules. Good luck!


NoVA Host Mom December 19, 2011 at 1:06 am

We’ve done rematch twice now and both times our in-coming AP has come from a few states over, but I do like the rules about self-matching and not rematching locally. I agree that rules like that being out in front for all to know help keep things positive when the new AP is coming in and allows fresh starts for all without the “baggage” from either side.


Calif Mom December 19, 2011 at 10:56 am

I got burned by an out-of-state rematch and won’t do it again. That was the only rematch girl we have had who did not go on to extend with us.

More than once, after meeting in person, we have rejected someone who seemed good on paper/email/phone but we could quickly determine that she was not the right personality for us in person. We now INSIST on meeting candidates face to face.

We would never hire someone for a job in an office without meeting them in person. And you don’t have to make polite conversation with your staff at breakfast every morning before you’ve had your coffee!


Calif Mom December 19, 2011 at 10:58 am

My kids did bump into The Princess once at a playground after we sent her into rematch and she found an easy family nearby. Lasting damage? Just this morning I asked the kids if they remembered her, and they had no idea who I was talking about. I’m less worried about minor “awkward!” moments in town than I am about the downstream consequences of picking the wrong au pair because we couldn’t visit a rematch candidate in person.


RainyStateHostMom December 24, 2012 at 2:35 pm

We’re in rematch soon, and I’m going to focus our efforts on people within a 2 hour drive that we can meet them in person. I’m open to others, but it’s going to be hard because our current AP was great on paper/phone/email/skype, just not what we wanted in person.


LuvCheetos December 19, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Our agency actually let our old AP and our new AP trade families — and both are local. So, our old AP is with our new AP’s old family. It’s horrible!!!!! I think our old AP realizes how nice she had it and our new AP who was somewhat traumatized by her old family has a form of “survivor’s guilt.” They are in touch fairly frequently and the old AP complains to the new AP and gets the new one all emotional (a combination of guilt that she’s out of the old family and the other one is stuck there and fear becuase the old AP claims we sprung rematch on her, so the new AP fears the same thing will happen to her). Also, the old AP wants to stay in touch with our children, which we do not want, and keeps asking if she can come over or skype with the kids. We’ve complained to the LCC but there is not really much they can do at this point. The 2 APs have a lot fo friends in common so they are going to see each other.

I’m beyond pissed. Frankly, as soon as this AP leaves, we’re done with the program.


Taking a Computer Lunch December 19, 2011 at 10:17 pm

I had a slightly similar situation. AP #3 was from the same country as AP #1, who had lived with us for 3 1/2 years (we attempted to sponsor her as an employer but she was ready to move on before her application rose to the top of the queue). Things did not end well with AP #1 (the goodbye syndrome hit me at the same time both a child and DH had been hospitalized for lengthy periods, and I developed pneumonia after the stress of managing a sick family, preparing for AP #2, and working full time – needless to say, I handled it poorly and the AP continued to act out). I had worked hard to develop a good relationship with AP #2.

AP #1 stayed in the area and a shop owner, recognizing one of my children with AP #3, arranged for her to meet #1. I did my best to remain neutral and to say nothing bad about AP #1, while still making it clear that I didn’t particularly want to see her. AP #3 became friends with AP #1, and I allowed her to bring my children to the new home of AP #1 – mainly because I didn’t want to poison their relationship with her. However, when AP #3 reported the emotional games that AP #1 was playing with one of my kids, I said enough. I didn’t want the child to be a pawn.

For me, it was important to appear neutral as I could. I’m sure AP #3 felt my negative vibe. I did my best not to bad mouth AP #1. There were things she had done extremely well, or we wouldn’t have attempted to sponsor her as an employer. However, I did my best not to talk about her at all. It is very hard to remain positive after a bad experience, but the next AP will feel negative energy and may think it’s aimed at her.


Anna April 18, 2011 at 12:57 pm


they have a policy of one “free” rematch in the first six months. If a rematch is after six months, or if a family rematches a second time in the first six months, they lose some money.
I found that they make no exceptions to this policy, they are very inflexible. Even if a family had terrible luck and had two obviously unqualified “flameout” au pairs in a row – if it is a second rematch in six months, they lose money.

AuPairCare also doesn’t settle monetary accounts upon rematch. It rules in favor of au pairs; so if a family rematches with an au pair who fulfilled her educational requirement with them, and the new au pair still needs to take her classes, the family pays twice for that in one year. Same with vacation – the family may end up having to accomodate more than two weeks vacation a year, without any monetary compensation.


PA AP mom April 18, 2011 at 1:04 pm

We took an AP that was in rematch with her family in Texas. We were not in rematch. We just had a lapse (our choice) in AP coverage. We had already provided our previous AP with 4 weeks of vacation and the $500 fee for education and we had to do it again because our incoming rematch AP hadn’t done either yet.

Now she is leaving our family early and we have already given her vacation and education money.


Calif Mom April 19, 2011 at 12:56 am

Au Pair in America:

Rematch au pair comes to a new family with prorated amount of education allowance and vacation time. They give you a worksheet that was filled out by the original hosts and the AP along with the counselor. Seems fair and tidy.

Cultural Homestay Int’l

If you rematch in the first 6 months, you “qualify” for a replacement au pair and the clock resets to her visa date. If you rematch after 6 months after arrival, you get the balance of your account applied to the next contract fees, but you have to essentially start over, look at out-of-country au pairs only, and wait a minimum 6-8 weeks for a new au pair depending on how long it takes to match and them to get their visas. They only do orientation once per month (except in summer), so this could create a significant gap. They are inflexible in regards to reimbursing fees, even if you have been communicating regularly with the counselor about your continued unhappiness and read to the counselor a letter from the youngest child asking you, the Mom, to tell the au pair not to throw her on the floor because it scares her. Not sure I understand the rationale behind that refund policy, because it sure doesn’t seem designed to generate repeat business, but it’s in the contract. As the two weeks slipped away, they did say they would send a rematch my way, but there just weren’t any because the agency is so small.

I’ve never asked to interview a rematch candidate’s original host family. I have been forwarded comments from their counselor to my counselor, with brief quotes like “always up on time” or “needs work on driving” etc.

APIA is very firm that you cannot pull rematch candidate files through the IT folks; your counselors work with their peers to figure out potentially compatible candidates to forward to you. This has been frustrating at times, but that’s only when you feel like time is slipping away and you’ll never find anyone and you can’t ask to take any more vacation time right now with that big project looming, but I don’t blame the system for that. It has worked well for us, found us girls who were a good fit and ‘keepers’.

(Honestly, I can’t bear looking at contracts right now so I’m not going to dig and paste them at this moment… )


Calif Mom April 19, 2011 at 1:02 am

CHI did not go through any paperwork with us at all on departure of au pair to new family. I was surprised by this, frankly. They just said to be sure to pay her. (of course!)

This means her new family will have to bear two full weeks of vacation (I factor in both stipend and lost childcare time into that cost). But we paid for her college in full already. I guess that comes out a wash… But a host family could end up paying more than seems fair, depending on timing of these things. I do like the prorating approach that APIA uses much better.


Maria Garcia June 27, 2011 at 3:41 pm

What could happend if an Au Pair on rematch receive and offer to work as an Au Pair with another family who is out of the Au Pair Program?


Anna June 27, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Maria, they will have to sign up with the agency of the au pair in rematch, in order for her to be able to work for them.
Otherwise, the au pair will be in the country illegally and working illegally.


Anna December 19, 2011 at 9:58 pm

I am an aupair and since nearly two weeks in the US!
I am not happy with my family,but I am afraid that if I rematch,I won’t find any new family :/ That would be very sad…anyone knows how the chances are to find a new family?!Thaanks;)


NewHM December 29, 2011 at 12:15 pm

What agency are you with? I’m sure it depends on that. There is always a chance you won’t find a new family but on the other hand there are so many families looking for au pairs that you should not have problems. We are actually starting rematch as of today and I hope our AP will find new family, as long as it’s out of our area.


Alina au pair February 10, 2013 at 1:19 pm

I want to rematch with my host family, but is afraid that I will not find a new host family. I have been here for 6 months and I am worried that maybe nobody wants me since I don’t have so much left. I am infant qualified and have a lot of experience of children.

I’m also afraid of how it will go for my host family. They have a child under 2 years old – and two other children – and must have an infant qualified au pair. I don’t want to waste time to stay longer, but I don’t want to be mean either. I don’t know if they also will be angry.

They are not mean, but I am absolutely not happy here. I am not comfortable here, I am tense and have got gases because of this. They say nice things, give me things, let me have a car, etc, but we communicate so different and it has happened a few incidents where my host mother yells at me. I want to feel more free, but I do not have enough SPACE here, she forced me to get some things, she has many opinions about if I will walk/drive to the train station (I want to walk in almost all weather, it’s safe and take less than 20 minutes), etc. This fall I was really sick and she FORCED me to drive when I didn’t feel that I could do it without a big risk. I feel so much pressure. Pressure to be perfect, not get sick again, etc. They have so many opinions and when I do something on my free time I always think “what would they say about this?”, etc. I have noticed that I have less self confidence, is weaker and much less happy here. I have no energy to arrange traveling and I almost stopped planning my week ends. This is not what I wanted of my au pair year. If I don’t rematch I think that I will stay for a few months more and then get enough and go home.

What do you think? Are these good reasons to rematch? Do you have experience about rematch for the au pair and for the family?

Thank you for your answers //


HRHM February 11, 2013 at 10:43 am

There are always 2 sides to every story. If you are an otherwise stellar Au Pair, then you should have little trouble finding a rematch. I guess the question to ask yourself is ” What part do I play in this?” Maybe they want you to drive more because they think you need practice (that’s the only reason I would discourage my AP from walking). But in the end, maybe they are fine and you are fine, but you are just not a good personality match. If that is the case, they are probably feeling it too. And while they may be unhappy at first to hear that they will have to find a new Au Pair, realistically they may be relieved to rematch with someone more suited to their “style”. Regardless, only you know whether you would rather possibly go home than spend 6 more months under the pressure you are currently under. Good luck.


HRHM February 11, 2013 at 10:49 am

I just read your other posts on the site. It sounds like you really would be happier in a more “employer-employee” situation. You should rematch and make that clear when you are interviewing.


Dina September 6, 2013 at 9:15 am

My basic question is “When an au pair is scared of her host mom. Is it a good enough reason to leave?”

So, there is a lot of information that goes into this story, but basically I have been with my host family for 9 weeks now. I spent the whole summer traveling with them to Spain and Morocco. That was great, but at the same time, I had absolutely no schedule, slept in the same wing as the kids, while the mom slept on the other side of the house (so I was often woken up in the middle of the night) and often I was managing other kids as well with no notice because she invited family members over a lot while we were on vacation.

Basically over the summer I was exhausted. I knew she needed me though because she is studying to be a lawyer. She also told me that the summer would be a lot different than the school year, but I didn’t realize just how much I would be working, but the BIGGEST problem was, was that I wasn’t being compensated for any overtime. So FINALLY when we got back, I decided to confront her about being compensated.

I asked if there was a way we could come up with a system to document how many hours I’ve worked so that maybe I could be compensated for overtime either with more time off or more money. I also reviewed a few things in our contract (I tried to be nice about it) that I knew she wasn’t aware of like paid vacations and the fact that she has to pay for my transportation and then she finally reluctantly agreed to this new book system I came up with.

So I took the liberty to write a few of my working hours down starting from 2 days prior while we were on vacation. I wrote down for example “7:30am-9:30pm” and then wrote down our general agenda like “breakfast, played with toys, movie, went to the zoo, lunch, played, WII, dinner, movie, bed.”

The next day it backfired. My host mom said she wanted to speak to me and she sat me down and yelled at me about how ungrateful I am and that I don’t realize how lucky I am to be with such an amazing family. That I need to be reminded how fortunate I am. That every other au pair has it ten times worse. She said I have no patience. If I only waited until school started I could see my job really isn’t that difficult. I only have to spend 3 hours a day with the kids. (which I wasn’t told beforehand btw) She said my idea of counting hours is absolutely RIDICULOUS and that now my little book will be a running joke at the dinner table.

When I finally apologized and she realized I didn’t have any malicious intent she said I hope we can put this whole conversation behind us. But that I have 2 weeks to decide whether or not I want to stay.

So now, I think I need advice. I think my biggest negative about this family, is that I don’t ever feel like part of the family. I fee like the help. I’m never really asked to speak at the dinner table and also, their 3 kids are difficult to manage because of lack of discipline. I don’t like the fact that when I tried to initiate open conversation about something that was bothering me, that I had to sit there for an hour and be insulted. I’m basically extremely scared of my host mom now and would almost rather be somewhere on the outskirts of Paris if it means being with a nicer HF.

Things may be different now, and she may be more considerate of my hours, but is “feeling disrespected and unable to communicate openly” a good enough reason to leave your HF?


anita December 16, 2013 at 1:53 am

I am a host mom. Are you in the US? If so you are protected by the FLSA and need to be compensated for overtime. Regardless, I think it is in the best interest of you and your host-family if you leave. The problem is that the agency may send you back and the current host family may lay to the agency regarding the reason they want to break the match.


Julie Sun March 29, 2017 at 11:10 am

Counting hours during vacation is tough on both sides. If my Au Pair counts “dinner” as working — I don’t think I could bring her on vacation.


anita butera December 15, 2013 at 5:28 pm

Our family is with Interexchange and our au-pair was charged with DWI. We want to keep her because she is a very responsible person who is part of the family and we are convinced that it was a case of profiling. The agency wants to send back home (we feel that our local coordinator has issues with au-pairs not from Easter Europe, Poland in particular), can we keep her against the agency’s will?


LH June 13, 2016 at 12:53 pm

We paid our agency for our Au Pair to extend with us for the 2nd year, and 2 weeks into the extension she has decided she wants to go into rematch. Her reason for rematch is because I am pregnant, but she has known about this for a while now. I haven’t gotten the official refund amount from the agency yet, but they did tell me our credit would be less the fees that were non-refundable. How negotiable have people found these to be? I feel like we shouldn’t be out of pocket for this. I don’t mind paying for the 2 weeks we’ve used and the two weeks we’ll get before she leaves, but I don’t think charging us other fees would be fair. I also suspect that our AP is not really planning to rematch, and that she is hoping to stay in the US illegally with her boyfriend and the visa that we just helped her get and paid for through the agency – but that’s nothing more than a crazy theory at this point.


A Host Mom June 14, 2016 at 1:13 pm

Same scenario, different reason for leaving (wanted to go home for a wedding, return to her life back home, etc.) Unfortunately, the agency was not negotiable and I lost about $2000.


LH June 14, 2016 at 1:40 pm

OMG, sorry to hear that! This just makes me absolutely sick to think about, the amount they are wanting to keep for us is $1,200. I feel like this money (minus the cost of the 2 weeks) should be part of the credit towards our replacement Au Pair. I’m waiting to hear from them after they “talk to management”, but if they don’t refund the majority I don’t think I can stomach risking that much money again with this program! I’m so bummed out right now. What started out as a great experience has turned into a complete nightmare!


Caroline August 24, 2016 at 5:06 pm

The main post mentions “Now we are in rematch with a true case of child neglect and abandonment”. Couldn’t the host family press charges (criminal) against the Au Pair for child neglect and abandonment? If parents and local nannies do that, they are liable and can be charged, why not an Au Pair?
The Au Pair agencies should make it very clear to them that when they take responsibility for children, they are legally responsible for them and can be liable criminally if they break the law. I hope the poster’s children were OK in the end. It is sad that children have to suffer from this.
I remind my Au Pair every day that she has the life of a toddler in her hands. I caught her sitting down and using her phone (texting or surfing the web) while my 2-year-old was running around bare foot on the other side of the play structure where the nanny could not see her, and was climbing on ladders on a large play structure that was clearly labeled as 5 to 12 years old. In her initial training days, we went to the park and showed her those labels and said that for those structures that are over 5 years old, my child had to be accompanies by her because there are many places where they can fall, the structures are higher than the ones for 2 to 5 years old, so it was more dangerous for small children. Of course she said ‘yes, yes’, and then, a friend of mine was at the park with her child and saw my child and could not see the Au Pair, she took a video and finally found the Au Pair sitting down and texting. My child could have run on the street, gotten abducted, etc and the Au Pair would have just been there sitting and texting instead of protecting the child.
I told her that if an accident happened, she would be liable for child neglect, that I would press criminal charges and that she would go to jail. It scared her off and she should be scared because it is completely irresponsible and unfair to risk the life of a young child because of an Au Pair’s irresponsibility.


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