Comments on: Poll: Does your Au Pair join you for dinner?. http://AuPairMom.com/poll-does-your-au-pair-eat-dinner-with-the-family-when/2009/04/08/celiaharquail/ Helping Host Parents and Au Pairs build great relationships. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 08:40:11 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Katie PAP http://AuPairMom.com/poll-does-your-au-pair-eat-dinner-with-the-family-when/2009/04/08/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-8238 Katie PAP Sat, 10 Apr 2010 11:51:33 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=1005#comment-8238 I usually ate with the family during weekdays which was just after work and when the parents usually came home at that time. I always thought it was good for communicating about the day and current events and it gave us a chance for the transition. If I had other plans I would usually send a HP a text or tell them the morning or day before. I usually ate with the family during weekdays which was just after work and when the parents usually came home at that time. I always thought it was good for communicating about the day and current events and it gave us a chance for the transition. If I had other plans I would usually send a HP a text or tell them the morning or day before.

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]]> By: Abby http://AuPairMom.com/poll-does-your-au-pair-eat-dinner-with-the-family-when/2009/04/08/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-8237 Abby Sat, 10 Apr 2010 11:38:51 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=1005#comment-8237 I've been au pairing in the Netherlands for nearly 7 months now (and it's really hard realizing that I have to go back to my country in no less than 5 months. love the family, love the country, really want to stay a bit longer :)). I hardly eat dinner with the family because I think I've spend enough time with the kids during the day. I need time to keep the good mood for the next day with the kids. My host mother, at first, worried so much, wondered if I eat or not. But I told her not to worry that I do eat. So for me, it's not about the food at all. I’ve been au pairing in the Netherlands for nearly 7 months now (and it’s really hard realizing that I have to go back to my country in no less than 5 months. love the family, love the country, really want to stay a bit longer :) ). I hardly eat dinner with the family because I think I’ve spend enough time with the kids during the day. I need time to keep the good mood for the next day with the kids. My host mother, at first, worried so much, wondered if I eat or not. But I told her not to worry that I do eat.

So for me, it’s not about the food at all.

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]]> By: NannyKelly http://AuPairMom.com/poll-does-your-au-pair-eat-dinner-with-the-family-when/2009/04/08/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-6732 NannyKelly Wed, 17 Feb 2010 11:00:58 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=1005#comment-6732 As an au pair, it was in my contract that I had to eat dinner with the family on nights that I worked. I was always invited to eat dinner on nights that I didn't. On this note, I wish I wasn't forced to eat dinner on the nights that I worked because I the mother cooked the same meal two-three nights a week, pasta with red pesto sauce or maybe we'd have fried eggs. These were the only foods the children ate. On the other nights (when her husband was home), she'd cook something he likes, usually seafood, which I hate. Other than the note so good cooking, on nights the father was home, he usually told me all the things I did wrong over the week (not folding the clothes correctly or picking the cherries off of the cherry tree). The nights I ate dinner with them, I cleaned up everything after. And on my off nights (which I usually ate out), they would leave the dishes for me in the morning. As an au pair, it was in my contract that I had to eat dinner with the family on nights that I worked. I was always invited to eat dinner on nights that I didn’t.
On this note, I wish I wasn’t forced to eat dinner on the nights that I worked because I the mother cooked the same meal two-three nights a week, pasta with red pesto sauce or maybe we’d have fried eggs. These were the only foods the children ate. On the other nights (when her husband was home), she’d cook something he likes, usually seafood, which I hate. Other than the note so good cooking, on nights the father was home, he usually told me all the things I did wrong over the week (not folding the clothes correctly or picking the cherries off of the cherry tree).
The nights I ate dinner with them, I cleaned up everything after. And on my off nights (which I usually ate out), they would leave the dishes for me in the morning.

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]]> By: PA HOST mom of TWO Au-Pairs http://AuPairMom.com/poll-does-your-au-pair-eat-dinner-with-the-family-when/2009/04/08/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-6729 PA HOST mom of TWO Au-Pairs Wed, 17 Feb 2010 07:22:16 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=1005#comment-6729 I haven't had an AP not eat with us at dinner time, while I do not have a menu planned each week, I usually will cook something that everyone will enjoy. There are days when I just ask my husband to get pizza or chinese. I have 6 children in the house , plus 4 adults to cook for daily= 10 people. I do have posted in the handbook that if they care to join us for dinner than everyone helps assist in the meal prep, cleaning up and putting away leftover foods. The AP's have never seems to complain and are always happy to help assist. Several of my past AP did not cook at all. My one current Kurdish girl is good at cooking, often she is cooking up something on weekend meals, breakfasts, breads and cakes. In fact, she brought my husband and I lunch to our in home offices 3 weeks ago. Later that day after work Au-Pair #2 showed me the smaller children's clothing that the Kurdish girl washed, she used Clorox Clean-up Bleach on the staining instead of spray and wash. My husband had me laughing by saying " that's why she made us lunch today" The comment was only a joke between all of us AP #2 died laughing , while Au-pair #1 was like OMG! A few articles of clothing bleached no big deal.. I love to see my Au-pairs share there cultural with our family. I haven’t had an AP not eat with us at dinner time, while I do not have a menu planned each week, I usually will cook something that everyone will enjoy. There are days when I just ask my husband to get pizza or chinese. I have 6 children in the house , plus 4 adults to cook for daily= 10 people.
I do have posted in the handbook that if they care to join us for dinner than everyone helps assist in the meal prep, cleaning up and putting away leftover foods. The AP’s have never seems to complain and are always happy to help assist. Several of my past AP did not cook at all. My one current Kurdish girl is good at cooking, often she is cooking up something on weekend meals, breakfasts, breads and cakes. In fact, she brought my husband and I lunch to our in home offices 3 weeks ago. Later that day after work Au-Pair #2 showed me the smaller children’s clothing that the Kurdish girl washed, she used Clorox Clean-up Bleach on the staining instead of spray and wash. My husband had me laughing by saying ” that’s why she made us lunch today” The comment was only a joke between all of us AP #2 died laughing , while Au-pair #1 was like OMG! A few articles of clothing bleached no big deal.. I love to see my Au-pairs share there cultural with our family.

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]]> By: Melissa http://AuPairMom.com/poll-does-your-au-pair-eat-dinner-with-the-family-when/2009/04/08/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-6727 Melissa Wed, 17 Feb 2010 05:22:55 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=1005#comment-6727 I'm envious of the postings by M and aupair! Our AP hardly ever eats with us, unfortunately. I've talked with her about it and tried to explain to her that it allows us time to get to know each other, in a atmosphere where we're not just exchanging info about the kids while coming and going. She usually makes an effort for a week or so, but then it's back to rarely having dinners with us. We've just sort of accepted it by now, and of course, it does save us money in groceries, but I feel like it's such a missed opportunity and would love to have more 'part of the family' participation. I’m envious of the postings by M and aupair! Our AP hardly ever eats with us, unfortunately. I’ve talked with her about it and tried to explain to her that it allows us time to get to know each other, in a atmosphere where we’re not just exchanging info about the kids while coming and going. She usually makes an effort for a week or so, but then it’s back to rarely having dinners with us. We’ve just sort of accepted it by now, and of course, it does save us money in groceries, but I feel like it’s such a missed opportunity and would love to have more ‘part of the family’ participation.

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]]> By: M in NY http://AuPairMom.com/poll-does-your-au-pair-eat-dinner-with-the-family-when/2009/04/08/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-6725 M in NY Wed, 17 Feb 2010 04:36:05 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=1005#comment-6725 I cook for the kids Mon-Thu and my HP never come home for dinner on those days, so I eat with the kids (or whichever kid is home to eat, sometimes activities come in the way of us eating together). I try to eat with my HF on Fridays, but if they're late getting home and I have plans I tell them that I can't and they're fine with it. On weekends (when I'm usually off) I'm rarely home on Sat so I eat out, with friends. But Sunday nights are always nice to sit down and relax with the HF and I usually do that. I think it's common to eat with your HF/host kids around 4-5 times/week and eat out the other nights as an au pair. But if I could eat with my whole HF more times/week, I would! It's just that my HP work late... Rayann, your setup seems great! I'm happy for you! I cook for the kids Mon-Thu and my HP never come home for dinner on those days, so I eat with the kids (or whichever kid is home to eat, sometimes activities come in the way of us eating together). I try to eat with my HF on Fridays, but if they’re late getting home and I have plans I tell them that I can’t and they’re fine with it.
On weekends (when I’m usually off) I’m rarely home on Sat so I eat out, with friends. But Sunday nights are always nice to sit down and relax with the HF and I usually do that.

I think it’s common to eat with your HF/host kids around 4-5 times/week and eat out the other nights as an au pair. But if I could eat with my whole HF more times/week, I would! It’s just that my HP work late…

Rayann, your setup seems great! I’m happy for you!

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]]> By: au pair http://AuPairMom.com/poll-does-your-au-pair-eat-dinner-with-the-family-when/2009/04/08/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-6711 au pair Tue, 16 Feb 2010 22:45:39 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=1005#comment-6711 I ALWAYS joined my host family for all meals, unless I wasn't in the house. To be honest, I never felt that I had the option to skip a meal and when I did (and I told them in advance, it wasn't that they made me a meal and I then told them I didn't want it), it caused major problems. For example, at the weekends I rarely eat breakfast or lunch because I never get hungry, and I've been that way since I was around 13. It's just a knock-on effect of getting up later, I guess, and I told my HF this - that I didn't see the point in eating just out of habit and if I was hungry, I would make myself a sandwich or something. However, they accused me of having an eating disorder, and threatened to phone my mother even after I explained that it was normal for me and my mother had never had a problem with it. I think it caused a strain on our relationship, as I felt they were treating me too much like a child, and in the end I went home after three months (although there were other issues there too.) I ALWAYS joined my host family for all meals, unless I wasn’t in the house. To be honest, I never felt that I had the option to skip a meal and when I did (and I told them in advance, it wasn’t that they made me a meal and I then told them I didn’t want it), it caused major problems.

For example, at the weekends I rarely eat breakfast or lunch because I never get hungry, and I’ve been that way since I was around 13. It’s just a knock-on effect of getting up later, I guess, and I told my HF this – that I didn’t see the point in eating just out of habit and if I was hungry, I would make myself a sandwich or something. However, they accused me of having an eating disorder, and threatened to phone my mother even after I explained that it was normal for me and my mother had never had a problem with it. I think it caused a strain on our relationship, as I felt they were treating me too much like a child, and in the end I went home after three months (although there were other issues there too.)

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]]> By: Anonymous http://AuPairMom.com/poll-does-your-au-pair-eat-dinner-with-the-family-when/2009/04/08/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-6703 Anonymous Tue, 16 Feb 2010 21:13:39 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=1005#comment-6703 I would like to add that our au pairs have always eaten with us, but while we are eating we are the parents. We don't expect the au pair to spoon feed our 1-year-old or ask our 4-year-old to chew his food before he speaks. I have found that this seems to really help. Both have still helped of course, such as when the younger one wants another bite for example. I could understand, however, if one of them chose to stay in their room because of having had such a long day with the kids. The au pairs are always allowed to get food when they want to just as our kids are. I would like to add that our au pairs have always eaten with us, but while we are eating we are the parents. We don’t expect the au pair to spoon feed our 1-year-old or ask our 4-year-old to chew his food before he speaks. I have found that this seems to really help. Both have still helped of course, such as when the younger one wants another bite for example. I could understand, however, if one of them chose to stay in their room because of having had such a long day with the kids. The au pairs are always allowed to get food when they want to just as our kids are.

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]]> By: GermanAuPair http://AuPairMom.com/poll-does-your-au-pair-eat-dinner-with-the-family-when/2009/04/08/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-1575 GermanAuPair Sat, 18 Apr 2009 19:38:30 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=1005#comment-1575 I think a lot of times it depends on how you get along with your hostfamily whether you eat with them or not. I love eating with my Hostfamily, because first I want to give them time to ask me about the day and give me time to tell them what I did with the kids and second I think that this is part of being a family member. Personally I don't understand why some aupairs don't want to join for dinner, but I think I just love my kids too much as to not spend dinner with them =) I think a lot of times it depends on how you get along with your hostfamily whether you eat with them or not.
I love eating with my Hostfamily, because first I want to give them time to ask me about the day and give me time to tell them what I did with the kids and second I think that this is part of being a family member.
Personally I don’t understand why some aupairs don’t want to join for dinner, but I think I just love my kids too much as to not spend dinner with them =)

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]]> By: ex. au pair http://AuPairMom.com/poll-does-your-au-pair-eat-dinner-with-the-family-when/2009/04/08/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-1569 ex. au pair Sat, 18 Apr 2009 09:16:02 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=1005#comment-1569 I was an au pair (in the same family) for two years, and I almost always had dinner with my family. I knew I was always invited(but not expected) to sit down with the family even on my off duty nights. If I wasn't at home, they would text me and let me know what time they would be having dinner. This is actually one of the things I miss the most, because it gave us time to talk about things we never had for otherwise. I was an au pair (in the same family) for two years, and I almost always had dinner with my family. I knew I was always invited(but not expected) to sit down with the family even on my off duty nights. If I wasn’t at home, they would text me and let me know what time they would be having dinner. This is actually one of the things I miss the most, because it gave us time to talk about things we never had for otherwise.

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