Comments on: Phases of the AP Year http://AuPairMom.com/phases-of-the-ap-year/2008/06/02/celiaharquail/ Helping Host Parents and Au Pairs build great relationships. Tue, 22 May 2012 09:09:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: AFHostMom http://AuPairMom.com/phases-of-the-ap-year/2008/06/02/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-20930 AFHostMom Fri, 30 Dec 2011 21:59:11 +0000 http://aupairmom.com/aupairmom.com/phases-of-the-ap-year/2008/06/02/cvharquail/#comment-20930 Well, you can only control your actions and words at this point. Just be as welcoming to the new AP, and upbeat/excited, as possible. If the new AP is a reasonable person it won't take her long to realize it was sour grapes from the outgoing AP. And if she's not reasonable or puts too much stock in it even after being at your home, honestly it might be for the best. Best of luck! Well, you can only control your actions and words at this point. Just be as welcoming to the new AP, and upbeat/excited, as possible. If the new AP is a reasonable person it won’t take her long to realize it was sour grapes from the outgoing AP. And if she’s not reasonable or puts too much stock in it even after being at your home, honestly it might be for the best. Best of luck!

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]]> By: Anna http://AuPairMom.com/phases-of-the-ap-year/2008/06/02/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-20918 Anna Fri, 30 Dec 2011 17:59:35 +0000 http://aupairmom.com/aupairmom.com/phases-of-the-ap-year/2008/06/02/cvharquail/#comment-20918 P.S. I know how hard it can be when the au pair decided not to have any relationship with you (I've had this situation), the atmosphere in the home is very unpleasant. I hope that your new au pair is a ray of sunshine compared to the old one, and you will feel the positive difference right away. P.S. I know how hard it can be when the au pair decided not to have any relationship with you (I’ve had this situation), the atmosphere in the home is very unpleasant. I hope that your new au pair is a ray of sunshine compared to the old one, and you will feel the positive difference right away.

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]]> By: Anna http://AuPairMom.com/phases-of-the-ap-year/2008/06/02/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-20917 Anna Fri, 30 Dec 2011 17:58:22 +0000 http://aupairmom.com/aupairmom.com/phases-of-the-ap-year/2008/06/02/cvharquail/#comment-20917 anon for this, in your situtation I would do anything I can to prevent the new au pair from meeting the old one. This has the potential to spoil the whole year for you or set you up for a quick rematch, if the old bitter au pair badmouthes your family to the new one. I would pay her for all her remaining time, and give her extra vacation starting a day or two before the new au pair arrives, and help her plan that vacation away from your home. anon for this, in your situtation I would do anything I can to prevent the new au pair from meeting the old one. This has the potential to spoil the whole year for you or set you up for a quick rematch, if the old bitter au pair badmouthes your family to the new one.
I would pay her for all her remaining time, and give her extra vacation starting a day or two before the new au pair arrives, and help her plan that vacation away from your home.

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]]> By: anon for this http://AuPairMom.com/phases-of-the-ap-year/2008/06/02/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-20903 anon for this Fri, 30 Dec 2011 14:48:14 +0000 http://aupairmom.com/aupairmom.com/phases-of-the-ap-year/2008/06/02/cvharquail/#comment-20903 Just bumping this thread in hopes that someone has had a similar experience or some words of wisdom for me! Just bumping this thread in hopes that someone has had a similar experience or some words of wisdom for me!

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]]> By: anon for this http://AuPairMom.com/phases-of-the-ap-year/2008/06/02/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-20878 anon for this Thu, 29 Dec 2011 21:49:12 +0000 http://aupairmom.com/aupairmom.com/phases-of-the-ap-year/2008/06/02/cvharquail/#comment-20878 PS_ this post may seem that I haven't tried to engage her, ask her what is wrong, how she is feeling, what she might need, etc.. I have, maybe too many times, she either won't or can't tell me what's up, and I do not believe it would be at all productive to try and have another conversation like that or express how much we will miss her, etc. PS_ this post may seem that I haven’t tried to engage her, ask her what is wrong, how she is feeling, what she might need, etc.. I have, maybe too many times, she either won’t or can’t tell me what’s up, and I do not believe it would be at all productive to try and have another conversation like that or express how much we will miss her, etc.

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]]> By: anon for this http://AuPairMom.com/phases-of-the-ap-year/2008/06/02/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-20877 anon for this Thu, 29 Dec 2011 21:46:56 +0000 http://aupairmom.com/aupairmom.com/phases-of-the-ap-year/2008/06/02/cvharquail/#comment-20877 really looking to vent, but even better to receive some advice on handling the 'final season' of one APs year and the start of the next. Our AP has not been easy to connect with at any stage, but her childcare skills are phenomenal. I am an effusive person, can't help it, I shower praise and affection, especially to the woman whom I feel has done a marvelous job with helping me take care of my small children. She has been, well, a little harder to love in the past few weeks. Still doing her job, but the one word answers, the flat, blank stares, the subtle eye rolls that I guess she doesn't think I notice, are driving me up the wall. I work from home, it is awkward and uncomfortable and I'm to the point (today) where I don't feel I have the energy to continue to engage someone who is acting like a sullen teenager. We invited her to extend but knew she probably would not due to obligations back home. She is complaining on fb, not specifically about us, just about life in general, how things are not fair (i.e., everyone else is doing xyz, everyone else got xyz for christmas). We were very generous with her gifts, and have been w/ schedules and vacation time so her posts are not only hurtful, they are downright confusing. Now our new AP is scheduled to arrive, the two of them communicate, and I have two concerns. How to get through this final 'season' of our AP year, and how to prevent current AP from tainting new AP year before she has even started it. DH says there is nothing I can do/say to her, can't control what she may/may not be saying, she probably has mixed feelings about going home, etc. It hurts me, but I'm also concerned about 2012 and setting ourselves up for a good year. My kids are too young to really understand what is going on, but probably pick up on the negative energy to say the least. Thanks in advance for any advice or moral support! really looking to vent, but even better to receive some advice on handling the ‘final season’ of one APs year and the start of the next. Our AP has not been easy to connect with at any stage, but her childcare skills are phenomenal. I am an effusive person, can’t help it, I shower praise and affection, especially to the woman whom I feel has done a marvelous job with helping me take care of my small children. She has been, well, a little harder to love in the past few weeks. Still doing her job, but the one word answers, the flat, blank stares, the subtle eye rolls that I guess she doesn’t think I notice, are driving me up the wall. I work from home, it is awkward and uncomfortable and I’m to the point (today) where I don’t feel I have the energy to continue to engage someone who is acting like a sullen teenager. We invited her to extend but knew she probably would not due to obligations back home. She is complaining on fb, not specifically about us, just about life in general, how things are not fair (i.e., everyone else is doing xyz, everyone else got xyz for christmas). We were very generous with her gifts, and have been w/ schedules and vacation time so her posts are not only hurtful, they are downright confusing. Now our new AP is scheduled to arrive, the two of them communicate, and I have two concerns. How to get through this final ‘season’ of our AP year, and how to prevent current AP from tainting new AP year before she has even started it. DH says there is nothing I can do/say to her, can’t control what she may/may not be saying, she probably has mixed feelings about going home, etc. It hurts me, but I’m also concerned about 2012 and setting ourselves up for a good year. My kids are too young to really understand what is going on, but probably pick up on the negative energy to say the least.
Thanks in advance for any advice or moral support!

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]]> By: Carol http://AuPairMom.com/phases-of-the-ap-year/2008/06/02/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-19339 Carol Wed, 10 Aug 2011 13:45:49 +0000 http://aupairmom.com/aupairmom.com/phases-of-the-ap-year/2008/06/02/cvharquail/#comment-19339 Dear Au Pair Mom.. you are so sweet!!! I hope I can find a HM just like you :) Dear Au Pair Mom.. you are so sweet!!! I hope I can find a HM just like you :)

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