Partnership Advice for Au Pair Host Parents

by cv harquail on February 4, 2016

After our previous post, I went back to an old, old post to clip and repeat these key bits of advice for Host Parent Partners:

Host Parent Partners need to confirm, explicitly, how they will work as partners as well as individuals to manage their Au Pair relationship.  

2-11-silly-smiles.jpgNothing about how having an au pair (or any other adult participating in your family) should have a negative influence on the relationship between the two of you, or between your and your child(ren).

Here are some “absolutes”:

  • One host parent’s relationship with an au pair should *never* take precedence over the host parents’ relationship with each other.
  • No au pair should be used as an adult confidant- or friend-substitute in place of the other host parent.
  • No host parent should prioritize the au pair (or any other adult) over the other host parent.
  • No host parent’s issues with the other host parent should be shared with the au pair.

These are all corollaries of one standard principle of a good marriage:

No one should come between you and your partner.


For Host Parents co-parenting with other adults (such as grandparents, or former spouses), the same principles apply.

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