After our previous post, I went back to an old, old post to clip and repeat these key bits of advice for Host Parent Partners:
Host Parent Partners need to confirm, explicitly, how they will work as partners as well as individuals to manage their Au Pair relationship.
Nothing about how having an au pair (or any other adult participating in your family) should have a negative influence on the relationship between the two of you, or between your and your child(ren).
Here are some “absolutes”:
- One host parent’s relationship with an au pair should *never* take precedence over the host parents’ relationship with each other.
- No au pair should be used as an adult confidant- or friend-substitute in place of the other host parent.
- No host parent should prioritize the au pair (or any other adult) over the other host parent.
- No host parent’s issues with the other host parent should be shared with the au pair.
These are all corollaries of one standard principle of a good marriage:
No one should come between you and your partner.
For Host Parents co-parenting with other adults (such as grandparents, or former spouses), the same principles apply.