Comments on: “No Room at the Inn” because AP changed her plans. Now what? (Poll)

By: CV

CV — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 01:07:32 +0000

Good point. That comment above yours is actually an advert. cv

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By: Euromom

Euromom — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 00:15:09 +0000

Hi there, just checked out the Zoom-Room. Costs start at €3,000.00 – €5,000.00 (not including tax, installation and delivery!). For that kinda money the grandparents could rent a suite in the Hilton!!!

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By: Peter Medvin

Peter Medvin — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 22:33:26 +0000

Have you ever considered Zoom-Room? It’s the electronic, remote controlled 21st century Murphy bed that turns any living room or home office into the perfect guest room – but no one knows it’s there. Check out http://www.Zoom-Room.com. It would give you space for the au pair and the grandparents!

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By: Host Mom VA

Host Mom VA — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 12:32:30 +0000

I also used a part time college student for after school care for my older son earlier this year through Care.com with pretty good results.

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By: NewAP Mom

NewAP Mom — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 03:52:55 +0000

You were the one who mentioned care.com! I saw it and wanted to thank the person who mentioned it but haven’t had time to look, so thank you!

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By: TXMom

TXMom — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 01:30:56 +0000

Thanks for the update. Obviously this vacation wasn’t the only issue brewing. HD and I joke that every couple has “their dishwasher,” that one silly issue that is the straw that brakes the camel’s back. (And you find yourself shouting at the top of your lungs about how the silverware should be loaded.) I’ve said it before on other strings, try Care.com We found a part time nanny for rematch times.

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By: NewAP Mom

NewAP Mom — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 15:44:29 +0000

So, full disclosure, this story actually wasn’t over yet. Now it is.

We ended up firing our au pair this weekend after she put one of the kids in physical danger for the third time. Yep, it took us that long. But we were lucky – the kids are okay.

It’s a logistical nightmare trying to cobble together childcare. But man, it feels good to be out of that frying pan.

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By: NewAP Mom

NewAP Mom — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:10:45 +0000

So how this turned out…

She finally bought plane tickets to go visit a friend for her whole two weeks of vacation (although not until a few days ago, which is why I didn’t update until now.) So problem solved!

On a semi-related note, she’s been better lately. More attentive with the kids, and even showing some initiative. I wish I could say I’ve been doing something different, because then I’d know what to do differently next time, but I haven’t… no idea what’s changed on her end.

Thank you all again for your advice.

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By: SeattleHostMom

SeattleHostMom — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 19:38:26 +0000

Hope this all turns out well…

I think this does sound like it’s gotten very dramatic, but I wonder (this happens to me) if NewAPMom is just trying to figure out the right thing to do, and getting stressed about all the “what-ifs”. As a working mom, I try to plan and organize and control everything, and when something isn’t working out according to my plan (for example, the au pair decides not to go out of town on vacation as discussed), I get very anxious.

My $0.02 is that if the au pair agreed that a set of grandparents could sleep in her room while she was on vacation, and then she chooses not to travel, she should find her own place to sleep. (If she chooses to stay, she should be able to use her room during the day). That’s being mature and responsible. But, again, it’s difficult as a HM to ask for that from an au pair, particularly one who isn’t consistently demonstrating responsibility

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By: LC

LC — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 17:07:21 +0000

Here is the bottom line…. Au Pairs earn a vacation during their time as an au pair. 2 weeks for 12 months of work. The time should be worked out with the host family as to when it is most convenient. Let’s face it there really may not be a most convenient time but time does have to be given. However, there is nothing that is stated that an aupair who has EARNED this time must go somewhere. I often take time off work for a STAYCATION. There are no rules that say an au pair must leave the house. This is their home for the year. I would suggest speaking to the au pair about changing her plans to a time that she may want to actually go somewhere or at a minimum explain that the grandparents will need a bed more so than a young adult and since she isn’t going anywhere it would be very helpful if she can be accomodating and share with the kids etc.

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