Need Some Advice?
We’d love to be able to target this blog to exactly what’s on your mind now . So, if there is a topic, an issue or a question that you’d like us to address on AuPairMom — just send me an email! Tell me what you want to know, and I’ll turn it around into a post that should trigger some ideas from other readers.
Please, read this whole page before you send a request.
And, please don’t drop your request into the comments on a post about something completely different. When folks do that, the conversation gets twisted up, and it becomes really difficult for other readers to find, comment on and share your concerns. We Au Pair Moms (and Dads) get pretty excited to offer advice…. Sometimes Moms & Dads will add their advice in the comments, below, before we can even get your question up as its own post. When responses start to get tangled in the comments, we will often move them from this page to the post set up specifically for your topic. Moms with advice, be patient <grin>. The parents, counselors, au pairs, former au pairs, and interested folks who contribute their comments, suggestions, and insights are by and large a caring and thoughtful group. I am amazed sometimes by what folks share with each other here, just out of their own belief that having an au pair and being a good host parent is important .
1. Read Before You Write…
Before you actually compose your question, check the rest of the blog for posts with similar topics. Be clever and flexible with the terms you use to search.
2. Use the categories, tag cloud, search box and page of “previous posts” to see what we’ve already talked about.
Then, tailor your request for advice based on the questions that remain UN answered. That way, we won’t have 2,347 requests for information about Au Pair Handbooks, but instead will get one targeted request for Handbook Pages and Guidelines that address, oh, when your neighbor calls because you au pair is sunbathing in your backyard, topless. Yes, it happened.
3. Send me an email at Mom @ AuPairMom.com with your question, concern, situation, or idea.
4. Share your issue in the weekend Open Thread post.
The Open Thread is available from Friday night to Monday morning and is designed for when you have a little question or an emergency. You can share your concern in the comment stream, and readers who are online over the weekend will help you out!
5. Give us enough information to help you.
We’ve discovered that it helps for other readers to have some basic information about your au pair situation, regardless of the particular issue you want some advice about. So, please be sure to include in your email this kind of information, where it’s relevant:
How long your au pair has been with you Your au pair’s age, language ability, home country How many children you have, and their ages Whether you work out of the home, in the home, full-time, part-time Your previous experience with au pairs (Have you had one before? Did the issue come up with that au pair?) Whether or not you like your au pair as a person (this matters a LOT to the advice other moms will give you) Whether your au pair has a good relationship with your children and your other host parent-partner What you have already tried. What information needs to be kept confidential.
- If you are an au pair or thinking of becoming an au pair, we will sometimes but not always address your question. It’s not that we don’t love you, but instead because this blog is primarily for parents.
- If you are a host parent from outside the USA and you have a situation that is relevant to anywhere on the globe, we’ll try to help you.
- If you are a host parent from outside the USA and you have a situation that wouldn’t exist in the USA because of the USA rules governing Au Pairs, we will only sometimes be able to help you. Readers often don’t have experience that’s relevant to non-USA situations that exist because of different regulations (or lack of them).
6. Be Patient. Give us a chance to gather the advice you want.
Sometimes it will take several days for your query to show up as a post of its own, whether you email it to me or add it to the Open Thread. We try to capture your request and then set it up for a blog post, rather than leave it on some page in the comments. As its own post, your request gets the attention it deserves AND it’s easy for others to find the advice later, too.
7. Come back to the post and tell us what happened!
After readers offer their advice, they usually want to hear how things turned out. As a way to contribute to the learning of the community as a whole, and -yes- as a way to thank the other parents and au pairs who took the time to offer advice, please come back and share in the comments what you did, what worked, and what you learned.
CV aka aupairmom
[Note: This post should help to clarify what you can expect when you email AuPairMom with a question. It aims to put into black and white the principles by which we’ve been operating for a while. Please email with any questions! ~cvh]
When you email AuPairMom for advice, here are some things you should know:
1. I may take your email text, in part or in full, to use within a post about the topic you are asking about.
Often in order to share useful advice, people need some of the details of the situation.
Generally, I tend to edit the emails and remove some specifics, (e.g., city you’re in, actual country you are from, actual ages and genders of host kids) where those specifics are not critical
2. I will NOT post your name, email address or other specific identifying information, in an effort to keep the conversation about the issues that are raised and not about the particular individuals involved.
3. If you want to share your situation BUT keep some of the details private, you must TELL ME SPECIFICALLY which bits of information these are.
It is up to you to determine want you want to share with me/ AuPairMom vs what you want to remain off the blog itself.
4. I expect that your emails tell the truth as you see it, and that you aren’t adding additional ‘facts’ or over-dramatizing what’s happening.
We have to take your word for things since we aren’t there to assess the situation ourselves (obviously), so your word must be as honest and reliable as you can make it.
5. I am happy to add corrections (and note that they are corrections) if any agency guideline or process is incorrectly described in the post itself or by any of the commenters.
Please email me if you believe there is something inaccurate, and send me a link to the correct information.
That said, I will not add ‘corrections’ that are the ‘other side’ of the situation. We will not get into an “X said this/ Y said that” situation.
If there are any other issues abut which I should make my policy clear, please let me know via email at mom at aupairmom. dot com.
Ultimately, the reasons to email us need to include not only to get help for your individual situation but also to create advice and wisdom for the other users of the blog who might contribute to or learn from the discussions on any post.
And as always, please make an effort to search the blog for advice on your situation before emailing. I can’t personally answer each email, and I am not able to send you replies to commonly-asked questions that have already been answered here on the blog.