Mother’s Day: Open Thread for Au Pairs

by cv harquail on May 8, 2015


How do you describe your Host Mom?

What’s wonderful about her — as a mom, as a host mom, as a friend, as a person?

Au Pairs, here’s your chance to celebrate something about your Host Mom that you personally appreciate.


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spanishaupair May 8, 2015 at 4:55 pm

Im not an aupair any more i really liked my HM she was very nice, kind and appreciative. Apart from all the flexibility she showed during my second year with them, so i could go back home to take exams (i was in europe) and any time i wanted to take a long trip.

One of the nicest memories i have, was in my first year with them, it was near christmas time and we were talking about traditions and Christmas markets, and somehow we finished talking about gingerbread man and i mentioned that i never tried them because they are not typicall in spain. Next day on the way home from work she bought a couple of gingerbread man one for my HK and one for me. I felt really cared and that they were happy with me

spanishaupair May 8, 2015 at 7:34 pm

But the most Awesome HM i have ever had was my first. Well the whole family was amazing and i consider them my second family and i know im an important member of their family.

What made HM the best ever is tha she wellcome me with open arms and treat me with love and respect. Just a couple of weeks after i arrived i was watching “Ice age” with her and the oldest HK and at the end she told him “ohhh we will tell Ana like they did when she leaves, please aupair dont forget us becuse we will never forget you”. I cant describe how much loved i felt that moment.

But probably the most hilarious and cute moments was when we were talking and she started to say how happy they were with me and they wpuld like me to stay for a year (i was summer aupair) and the she started to say that she wished i was her daughter and decided to check how old she should have been if she was my mum, she was like ohhh i should have been 9 too young

GerAP May 8, 2015 at 5:32 pm

My host mom is awesome! I’m not their au pair anymore, but we’re still very good friends. Besides being a great friend, she always valued my opinion and asked for it, especially regarding the kids. She shared the happy moments and the sad ones with me. This made me feel very included and appreciated. The coolest thing (besides many other) she (and my host dad) did for me was right before my first two years with them ended and I had to go back to Germany. A couple months earlier she asked me what places I didn’t get to see and was planning to see at a later time when I would come visit. I mentioned three places (2, 3 and 5 hours away) and in my last month they took me for three day/weekend trips to see those places with the whole family. I was blown away!

My host mom is amazing. She has a demanding job, three children, a husband, an au pair, family all across the country and will still get up early on Sunday mornings when we have a Skype call scheduled. <3

Extensionaupair May 8, 2015 at 6:08 pm

My first host mom in my first host family (I extended with a new family a few months back to see another part of the county) is seriously the best of the best. We just clicked from day one and both her and her husband made me feel like part of the family from day one. And the kids! Never knew I could miss anybody that much (but lets stay on the subject).

She is an amazing mother and an even better person. I always felt that I could talk to her about everything and I knew she was interested in my life. She would always ask me how my family was back home and I could always talk to her if the kids were being difficult and she would pour us a glas of wine and we would just sit and talk about life for hours. Lately I’ve been feeling mega blessed for her and my first host family. Of course I did when I lived with them too, but it’s not until know that I have a new host mom that I really understand how truly amazing my first host mom was.

We still talk to each other almost every day and I know we’ll be friends forever and that I’ll always be part of their family. Recently she came to work nearby my new location and I got to see her again after a few weeks. That’s when I new. The feeling I had when I saw her again was like if I was seeing my own mom. It felt like seeing someone from “home” and it felt so good to catch up. She is not a very touchy person but when she hugged me and said how much they have missed me and how much they love me with tears in her eyes I just broke out in tears too. Hearing her say over and over again that she never ever thinks they will get a better au pair than me just breaks my heart.

I wish I would have appreciated her more when I lived there. What really strikes me now that I live with a new family is how comfortable I was in their house and when she was around. I could totally be myself and I didn’t have to put on an act or a smile every single minute of every single day as I have to do in my new famil. I never felt judged or micromanaged because she trusted me and knew how much I loved her kids and how much the kids loved me.

A funny thing is that sometimes I would skype with my own mom back home and I would tell her how I hated that I could not stay upset or irritated on my host mom if she had done something I didn’t agree with or whatever because whenever I saw her (to talk about it for example) she would make me so happy and all my upset thoughts would disappear. I hated it then but now I just think its one of the things I like so much about her. Weirdest thing ever put she just had this personality that always made me smile and I always wanted to do my best because she deserved it so much.

Words cannot express how lucky I am to have meet her and her kids and husband. I am a better person because of her and I love them 2 pieces!!!! A lot of things comes to an end. Good thing family lasts forever!

(You are probably reading this so, again, LOVE YOU ALL AND HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!)

Bárbara May 9, 2015 at 12:34 am

I’m a brazilian au pair and i got here in USA 4 months ago. I had no idea how it would be living with an american family, for one whole year and it kind scared me. But my host mom and the whole family it’s so amazing that i couldn’t imagine living with another host family and i feel comfortable here. She lets me free to do anything i want with the kids, she is not around me to see i do my job, if i do right or not. And it’s so good cause i feel she trusts me and treat me like an adult, that’s is important for me. And they are so patient with me, i had many driving problems and some car accidents (i broke the brand’s new car right mirror and hit the side walk then flat tire…. i know im terrible) , but they always helped though. So thats it, we always have problems and being an au pair and have an au pair its not easy for both sides, but it is such an amazing experience, specially when you find the right host mom and family for you. Happy mother’s day!

Ninna May 9, 2015 at 12:43 am

I love how my HM looks at me, maybe that is only my impression but I feel like her eyes lights up when she sees me. If I were her own kid. Sometimes she jokes that they will adopt me or that I am her third kid. That gives me nice and worm feeling inside.

AuPair Paris May 9, 2015 at 5:06 pm

I’m impressed by how dedicated my HM is. She’s a real career woman, and it sort of inspires me to see how successful she’s managed to be. She just gets on with it! I think it’s a really excellent example for her kids. We don’t agree on everything politically (by which I mean I’m a feminist and I don’t think she’d say she was), but I just think the way she lives her life, and is really strong and no-nonsense in a male-dominated field is incredibly admirable – and a wonderful thing for her kids (daughters especially) to witness.

As for the rest? Well she’s *nice* to me, and she loves her kids a whole ton. We’re not majorly close – it’s not a “just like family” situation with my HPs for me, but I still think she’s a really admirable person, and deserves a nod of recognition for that! She’s a *good* person, is the thing, and I don’t think that those are as common as they might be.

German Au-Pair May 10, 2015 at 3:02 pm

Same here. I wish we had been closer but that’s just not the kind of relationship she had with her AP’s. I admire her intelligence and drive though and I know that she helped me grow a lot.
While I think that there were some issues she could have handled better in order to achieve a more effective way to work for both of us, she was incredibly helpful, totally had the give-and-take thing down and I admire her strength in balancing a demanding job with two special needs children.

Didi May 11, 2015 at 2:24 pm

I wish I saw this before.

My former host mom is seriously the best mom I ever met. She is a role model to me, and I am proud to see how great example she is to her kids.
She isn’t one of those kind, gentle moms that thinks her kids are angels. I loved being her au pair because I knew she understand that her kids are difficult sometimes and she never expected from me what she can’t handle herself. Her main goal are her kids and as soon as she is done with work day, she is completely and fully present.
I never had problem going extra mile and helping with chores because I knew she isn’t taking advantage of me or others.

She is funny, sarcastic, amazing women that believes in others. That will do everything to help you achieve your goals and plans.
I stayed in US, and now 2 years after my au pair experience finished, I can say she is my best friend in this country. I admire her and love her like a sister.
Happy Mother’s Day to her and to all of you amazing moms out there.

Former Au Pair May 11, 2015 at 5:18 pm

Well my host mom was/is just the best! and as i’m typing this i remember we ended up yelling at each other, me not finishing my second year and leaving a month earlier than the established departure date but it is what it is.
She taught me so much, it’s been 3 years since i left that house (that it wasn’t really just a house it was my home for almost two years, thanks to her) and i always think about how much i learned from that family. We had our moments, we weren’t perfect, i was young and a little immature probably, however she tried to be always patient. She was there for me when my mom got sick or when my best friend died in a car accident back home, she sat there, she hugged me and listened to me, she always cared and showed it, she was like my own mom, like a best friend to me.

I look up to her, she’s a hardworking woman and an amazing mom, i only hope i get to be as good as her with my own children, I’ve never met someone as loving and caring as her.

And we barely keep in touch because of the circumstances of my departure but now that i’m older and wiser (i want to believe) i really thank her and appreciate all the lesson i learned from her and her family, i will always treasure the moments i spent with them, the good and the bad.

And to all of the au pairs out there, currently dealing with situations with their host moms, just give them a break! it is hard for you as it is for them, just think they’re just humans and if they ask you to step up, you gotta try, my host mom helped me to built character and to become and much more stronger woman, and now when i’m at the office and i feel like i can’t deal with my boss anymore, i smile and think hey! i work and lived with my boss before, this should be a piece of cake :)

ProPair May 20, 2015 at 3:24 pm

I’m sorry I’m so late, but I have to chime in on this one! I’ve had two host moms, both very different and equally loved.

My first host mom was extremely hard working and was a hosting pro. I think she balanced the employee/family relationship perfectly. She was patient and kind with me (18 at the time) and her three kids. Her high position and managerial experience made her amazing at giving feedback. Often, I didn’t realise her constructive criticism was criticism at all.

My current host mom is full of life. She’s a social butterfly who pushes me to get the most out of my experience, from taking me on outings with the kids weekly to teaching me how to mix popular Austrian cocktails. Her number one host mom quality is that she takes care to show her appreciation. She thanks me every week when I vacuum or help after dinner (though these are part of my standard tasks) and surprises me with new treats or fun activities to let me know she’s happy to have me.

Those are my wonderful mommas!

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