Writing about the AuPair interviewing process, I’m getting a little philosophical.
I just wrote this section (below) about the difference between “selecting” and “Matching with” an Au Pair.
- Am I crazy?
- Do you make these sorts of distinctions?
- Is this how you frame the process yourself?
What am I missing? I’d love your ideas.
“Matching With” or “Selecting” an Au Pair?
Some folks like to think of this whole interviewing process as a “selection” process — like you’re looking at a line up of attractive boxes on a shelf, and you just pick one. In a “selection” process, almost all the power and the momentum is in the hands of the Host Family.
At AuPairMom we like to think of it differently. We see it all as a “matching” process — once where both the family and the Au Pair candidate take an active role in learning enough about each other to decide whether or not this is a relationship they both want to make a commitment to.
With “matching”, if both parties feel positively about each other AND the relationship, that’s a good thing. With a “match”, you can recognize that the other party is terrific and at the same time conclude that the relationship isn’t quite right.
If one party doesn’t feel like there is a “fit” between them, it’s not a rejection of the other party. The candidate isn’t “rejected” and there is nothing wrong with him or her if the Host Family decides to pass. Similarly, the Host Family isn’t rejected or bad or offering a crummy situation if a candidate declines and interview or a followup. When there’s “not a match” its easier to move on than when someone is “rejected” or more gently “not selected”.
Wonderful Host Families and Fabulous Au Pair Candidates talk with each other and still decide not to match all. the. time. That’s how a “matching” process works. That’s how we commit to relationships.
It’s a subtle difference, I know, but it helps us frame the whole process in a more affirming and optimistic way.