Is There a Sensible Way Around “Infant Care” Restrictions?

by cv harquail on September 14, 2013

This question is a great one for Local Counselors to answer– have you had experience with this issue?

Dear Au Pair Moms  ~~   We have found a prospective au pair who is just great and seem like she would fit perfectly into our family. She has been in the USA with another family and would like to extend 12 months with a different family.

kittenThe problem is that she’s not infant qualified and our son is not yet 2 years old. He will be 2 on November 15 and the au pair needs to match by September 30, so we have a gap of 1.5 months. I told the agency that my son will stay in day care he turns 2, and that the au pair would only needs to take care of my 4 year old daughter until Nov 15.

The Agency says they can’t place her in my house at all if an infant is there. I looked at the State Department regulations and this requirement does exist. BUT I wonder if this really applies if the infant has other child care.

As an alternative, I suggested to the agency that I could have a friend sign up for the au pair, then end the relationship after 1.5 months so the au pair could switch to my household .They were not open to that because it’s “not the right way to use the system”.

Is there anything else I can do to avoid losing this great au pair?   ~~ Mom of “soon to be not an infant”

Image: Momma and Baby,AttributionNoncommercialNo Derivative Works Some rights reserved by Kami Jo

{ 49 comments }

Au pair September 14, 2013 at 1:45 pm

What agency are you with? I had a friend who was with CC, and while de was there her hostmom was already 3 months pregnant. ( they didn’t know that while in matching process. ) so the baby was supposed to come in aupairs 6th month. The agency also said it won’t work because my friend wasn’t infant qualified. So the hf had to write a letter stating that they take full responsibility in case of an accident or similar. It worked, not sure if that helps. Good luck!

Mom of “soon to be not an infant” September 14, 2013 at 4:33 pm

Really? That’s very interesting. Yes, we are with CC also. Perhaps they accepted the letter because the match was already made, whereas they can avoid that kind of situation with me since I have not matched yet.

German Au-Pair September 15, 2013 at 8:05 pm

Then the agency acted against immigration law.

Skny September 14, 2013 at 7:09 pm

Ive see something similar: Au pair not iq, mom gets pregnant after match and family was able to keep Au pair

Julie September 15, 2013 at 10:04 am

I’ve seen just the opposite several times where the au pair is pulled from the home if they cannot prove 200 infant hours that can be qualified by the overseas office. It doesn’t matter that the au pair won’t take care of the baby. If they are in the home and there is an infant, they have to be qualified.

Cat September 15, 2013 at 12:31 pm

Would it be possible for the AP to do an unpaid internship at a daycare for under 2 yo to get the qualification? Although I don’t think that it will be possible to collect 200 hrs in just 2 weeks, esp. while still working for another family.

Gretchen September 15, 2013 at 1:31 pm

We ran into a similar situation when our daughter was 6 weeks shy of no longer being an infant. (Yep, only 6 weeks.) We couldn’t delay her arrival by 6 weeks and there is no easy way around it.

Fortunately, there are many great au pairs who are already infant qualified. Just find one of them!

Seattle Mom September 19, 2013 at 4:09 pm

Yes, we had this happen last year- we needed our new AP to arrive in mid-January and DD turned 2 in mid-February. The rules are pretty strict!

SF Coordinator September 15, 2013 at 7:23 pm

At my agency it is acceptable for an au pair to be in the home with an under-24-month child as long as they are not solely in charge. Rather, the au pair acts as a mother’s helper. This is required until the infant is 3 months old, regardless of infant-care qualification (such as when there is an older sibling originally, and now along comes baby). During this time when an au pair is caring for the infant, under another responsible adult’s watchful eye, hours are being amassed toward an infant-care qualification.

Texanadian APMom October 15, 2013 at 4:26 pm

We are doing exactly this. Our AP arrived when my son was 6 weeks old. He hasn’t been left alone with our AP since our AP’s arrival, and won’t be until my son is 3 months old.

Taking a Computer Lunch September 15, 2013 at 8:01 pm

My question is, why would you push it? It is a huge responsibility to take care of an infant. Add the care-giving responsibilities to homesickness, a desire to hang out with friends, and the discovery that being an au pair is NOT like being a babysitter. I understand that the child is a toddler and almost across the thresh-hold for State Dept. Regs, but as the parent of a young 2-year-old, I would still want an AP with a lot of infant experience.

I totally get that there is a ton of disappointment all the way around, but the right AP is out there. Believe me, if your young, non-infant qualified AP shows up and hates her situation, she might use it against you, and then where will you be? You can’t guarantee that she won’t spend a minute caring for your child until he’s 3.

As the parent of a child with special needs, my LCC lets me look at infant-qualified APs, and I’ll tell you right now, that 100% of them turn me down. They want infants – they want young children. They do not want teenagers in diapers.

German Au-Pair September 15, 2013 at 8:08 pm

The au pair in question is said to be extending for 12 months with a different family so the homesickness part amd the getting accustomed with being an au pair part are already done.

Mom of “soon to be not an infant” September 15, 2013 at 11:03 pm

Thank you so much for the great feedback, everyone. It sounds like people have had different luck with this requirement.

“Taking a Computer Lunch” – I’m not looking for a way to have the au pair watch my son while he’s still an infant. I respect the requirement that infant caregivers be infant qualified. She would not watch my son until he turns 2 – which is 1.5 months after her transition period.

Thanks again!

NoVA Twin Mom September 16, 2013 at 9:24 am

My advice – DON’T DO IT.

We just had the opposite experience – after our girls turned two and our Infant Qualified au pair left, we were excited to be in the “big kids” pool, not looking for an IQ au pair. Our girls were two and a half when our new au pair – who appeared to have experience with young kids and even with young twins – arrived. She said all the right things, too, during interview, skypes before her arrival, and for the first few days.

Three and a half DAYS into working, she announced that she didn’t like little kids. And didn’t want one of my two year olds to *hug* her. She shuddered when she came near for a hug. And she couldn’t even handle a half day with them after telling me all of this – when we need 10 hour days.

And I promise, my kids aren’t terrors. They have their moments, as all two year olds do, but overall are good natured and willing to do what you ask. On that last half day, I even told her to park them in front of Dora and Diego and just feed them and change their diapers at appropriate intervals. (Certainly not what I want for a permanent caregiver, but at that point I thought we were going to have to “wait out” the two weeks until APIA would let us rematch, so I was willing to settle for “just keep them safe until we get home”.) She couldn’t even handle that, telling me tearfully that she thought she could “probably” “get through” the following week after the weekend since she “would have had a break from even seeing the girls”.

Needless to say, we agreed that she needed to find a new place to be – and we needed a new au pair. We may have set a record for fastest rematch ever – we didn’t even have to “wait out” the two weeks of “trying” as I sent my kids to my parents (a quarter of the way across the country) for the summer rather than leave them in her care once I figured out they weren’t safe with her. She stayed with us while she found a new host family (even though I recommended against it and another discussion altogether… at least this family only has kids over 10. Though they never called me to find out what happened.)

We just got our new au pair – also an extension au pair. But apparently the rules are a little different for extensions, because even though we don’t technically need an IQ au pair, this one is. We found her listed as “available soon” on APIA’s website, then waited until she was available. And I’m thrilled that she is IQ. She has actual experience taking care of a two year old with her previous family, and sometimes it seems that the only way to get an au pair with experience with toddlers is to get an IQ au pair. And the way the Infant Qualified are divided from the non-Infant Qualified, it’s hard to find an au pair experienced with three year olds (that can also drive well and in snow). I think if they have experience with three year olds, they somehow also have infant experience and land in the IQ pool. Or are encouraged to “find” infant experience and land in the IQ pool.

So, Mom of “soon to be not an infant”, while I would have agreed with you a year ago, when my girls were two months shy of two years – and in fact did try the argument, because as a good government employee I know that nearly anything can be done if a good waiver is written – it was not an option. As you can see from my experience, I’ve also learned it’s not a good idea to put an au pair in a situation they’re not ready for.

Side note – I realize that our “three and a half day” au pair was an exception. I kept arguing exactly that when pushing to rematch immediately, explaining that this was NOT homesickness but a real issue that needed to be dealt with immediately. Luckily APIA agreed.

In hindsight, I don’t know how we could have avoided this – she sounded great on paper, in interviews, on her blog before she got here, and even her first weekend. I speak her first language, so I know that her mother (who wound up contacting me directly) was mortified at what was happening, and terrified that we were going to throw her daughter out of our house and onto the street. We wouldn’t have done that – although my husband WAS tempted to deposit her at our LCC’s house. Unfortunately for all of us, our beloved LCC was on vacation – and so was our “assigned” rep at APIA headquarters. On the plus side, that meant that *I* was basically running our rematch, as all the people covering the vacations were busy with their regular jobs and apparently grateful that anyone else was taking the lead on it.

But “three and a half day au pair” did teach me that just because the State Department says I don’t need an IQ au pair doesn’t mean it isn’t a good idea to have one. Which means I agree that if State Department says you need an IQ au pair, which by definition means you have a child under 24 months, you do.

LookingForwardToBeAP September 16, 2013 at 11:55 am

I am really sorry that you had such a bad experience, but that doesn’t mean all not IQ au pairs would behave like your terrible one did.

Some girls will be good for infants even if they don’t have the 200 hours needed. You don’t need to prove hours to become a mom, right? and you can still be a pretty good first time mom.

Maybe this HM is sure about this particular au pair and wants her. Maybe in her current family she is taking care of a 3 yo and is awesome at it and that is why she wants her.

NoVA Twin Mom September 16, 2013 at 3:07 pm

LFTBAP:

The great thing about this forum is that it lets people express their opinions. I was asked for my opinion and I gave it, complete with an example of a NON infant qualified au pair who was clearly not qualified for the job I hired her for.

So I stated that – knowing what I know now, but having been in the OP’s shoes last year when I didn’t have that information – if I were her I wouldn’t do it. Others (like you!) are welcome to disagree.

And in my seventh paragraph, I stated that the “three and a half day au pair” was probably an exception, that other au pairs aren’t necessarily like her. And I have proven that I believe that – I have another au pair now.

My point, in case it wasn’t clear, is that with very young kids – even kids who don’t necessarily need the State Department-required IQ au pairs – *I* think it’s a good idea to stick with the IQ au pairs anyway. At least they know what they’re getting into.

But I need to respond to your comment about not being qualified to be a mom. First of all, actually, I did have a lot of training/experience before I became a mom. Many of us do. But even if I didn’t have that experience, there’s a difference between “learning as you go” with your own kid, and holding yourself out to be qualified in a way that you’re not when you’re being hired for a job to take care of someone else’s kid(s).

LookingForwardToBeAP September 16, 2013 at 7:12 pm

I actually agree with you NoVA Twin Mom, from the information stated by the OP, I don’t think it is worth it for her to go through trouble to get this particular AP, because there are many au pairs available, wich led me to think why would she want this particular AP?

The reasons are not stated, and I presume there must be a good one for even thinking of going agains the law.

Also there is no information as to whether this particular girl is looking after a 3 yo or not. If she is, then really is there much of a difference between 2 years and 10 month, and 3 years old? With that in mind I thought maybe they should get a chance.

Regarding the comments about the hours to be a mom, I did not mean to say particularly you did not get prepared, I am sorry if it sounded that way, I meant to say that in general, people don’t, some read books when pregnant, but I have never seen someone try to work in a day care for a while as a preparation to be a mother. I think I was trying to say that instinct can be of help, I have seen teenager moms who turned out to be great mothers and always kept their children safe. Of course there’s a huge difference when someone is paying you and its not your children, and I know it is absolutely necessary to be prepared and qualified to take care of children as a job. And I am by no means saying that au pairs should not prove hours, in fact I think 200 is too little, really just 4 hours a week for a year adds up to 200. In my particular case, I have plenty of experience with infants, but when I started (here in my home country) I didn’t have it, I may have made a mistake or two, but I never put a child in risk even then. Now, even when I do have lots of experience I still think I can (more like I am terrified of) make a mistake and I am preparing myself as much as I can so it doesn’t happen.

What was in my mind is that MAYBE this particular AP has somehow proven to this mom that she can do the job and that is why she wants her.

For example, I know of a case where an AP was taking care of the HF’s nephew (12mo or so) who didnt live in the home, she was doing it several times and she was great with him, then the HM’s sister had to move in with this little boy and the AP, who had been taking great care of the boy had to look for another family, even if everyone was happy with her and didn’t want her to leave. And she didnt have previous experience with infants.

Host Mom X September 16, 2013 at 4:16 pm

LFTBAP – I actually agree with you. I have commented on another recent post that the IQ designation doesn’t mean much to me – because AP candidates can make up their 200 hours (e.g. “I took care of my friend’s baby, aunt’s baby, etc.” when all that means is they spent time with family or friends who had a baby – not that they really know anything specific about infant care). That said – I guess it is the State Department’s attempt to try to build some kind of protections into the program all around. And it is probably a good idea not to try to circumvent that.

Though – I guess my beef really is more with the “Infant Specialized” designation that our current agency – Au Pair Care – uses, and charges more money for. Since we will have a new infant when our next AP arrives, I believe we can only view infant qualified APs anyway – and when I look at the applications, it does seem as if the infant experience is not always “real.” But the Infant “Specialized” APs don’t necessarily have any more “real” infant experience then the “regular” IQs – they just cost more because they are sent to a “special” infant training, which doesn’t really appeal to me.

Anyway – I’m in a spat with APC right now because one rep gave me the impression that the “IS” designation could be removed if we wanted to match with an “IS”-designated AP but didn’t want to pay $950 for the extra training. Well – turns out they won’t do it, and now we have to decide whether an AP we really like is worth the extra $950. We feel badly for her, because it seems the APs choose that designation (like APIA’s “extraordinaire” designation) thinking it might improve their chances for a match. But in this candidate’s case, she would have done better without the “IS.” She has been a kindergarten teacher, and is great for families who have kindergarten-aged children as well – but the extra fee she comes with may prevent her getting that good match. (And she is not an experienced driver, so her options are already limited.) Anyway, end rant. Just annoyed with APC today.

Caupair September 18, 2013 at 4:35 pm

I´m so sorry you had that au pair, clearly she should never have become an au pair if acts that way.

I have a lot experience with infants and toddlers 0-4 and also with kids aged 7-14 and toddlers THERE IS NOTHING SWEETER IN THIS WORLD THAN A HUG FROM A LITTLE CREATURE FULL OF LOVE AND TENDERNESS- I can´t understand why someone would be pissed/annoyed about that.

The problem about the au pair program is that no every girl has experience in all ages range so many of them find themselves caring for a 8 years old twins and realized she doesn´t like or is not ready to work with that ages for “X” reasons.
but as I say if you like childrens you like all of them! excluding teenagers (we know that’s a job for a counselor or psychologist, not for an au pair.) LOL

What a shame i´m looking for a family with childrens in that age range and I can´t find any, and I´m in APIA too!

Wish you the best with your new Au pair. I hope she enjoys your family. you seem a great HM ;)

Seattle Mom September 19, 2013 at 4:23 pm

So APIA doesn’t normally let you have access to IQ APs if you don’t have a child under 2? I wonder if that is normal for all agencies, it never even occurred to me. It’s kind of strange to have a whole section of the applicant pool cut off from us.

Taking a Computer Lunch September 19, 2013 at 7:28 pm

No, typically HF who don’t have infants cannot see IQ APs. Your LCC can give you access to IQ APs when you are in the matching process. There are many extraordinnaire IQ APs. However, my experience is that they really want infants and toddlers. I’ve never matched with one (except when my kids were infants, of course).

While I prefer to match with extraordinnaires, I’m pretty stringent about who I will accept into my queue – I only want to see APs who actually have some sort of special needs experience. I take nothing on face – DH and I look at the applications closely, email hundreds, and eventually interview 4 or 5. It’s a time consuming drag, but totally worth it for a good match.

Dorsi September 19, 2013 at 10:45 pm

There are exactly 6 IQ extraordinairres right now (no other filters). If I filter by [self-identified] “frequent driver” that leaves 4. 3 of those are from Germany. Maybe this is a “grass is always greener” problem, but there are not “many”.

Taking a Computer Lunch September 20, 2013 at 6:45 am

It may be a timing issue. In my experience, there tend to be a lot more applicants in the spring, especially for Europeans. Most of my European au pairs have timed their year to the start of university so their gap year doesn’t turn into a two-year gap. The year I was matching for a Fall arrival, I found far less applicants available to me than in April. Of course, while my LCC permits me to see IQ applications, in my experience they say no to me immediately. The idea of changing a teenager’s diapers does not appeal to them. I start working on matching for the next year’s arrival the day my current AP gets her extension/departure paperwork.

My recommendation is to push your LCC and your HQ contact. Ask if there are any applications that have been recently processed. Remind them how many years you have hosted APs. Push your HQ rep to work for you.

Host Mom X September 20, 2013 at 10:46 am

That is strange. I remember thinking about a week or two ago that there were way too many extraordinaires in the APIA IQ pool, and we really just wanted a standard, and why did all of the candidates over age 21 have to be designated extraordinaire? Maybe they all got snapped up really quickly?

Dorsi September 20, 2013 at 12:20 pm

I forgot that my choices are also filtered by the “more than 2 willing” group. (Though, they are willing when they sign up, less so when they have had contact with “less than 3” families). I wonder if that accounts fro the difference?

Should be working September 20, 2013 at 12:22 pm

Dorsi, does you agency have that as an option for APs, i.e. to specify they are willing to have more than 2 HKs or prefer not? That stinks, in my view, if it is so. Totally goes against the idea of APs choosing the feel of the family vs. objective factors. Some more-than-two-kid families are easy work, some one-kid families difficult.

LookingForwardToBeAP September 20, 2013 at 3:04 pm

in the Cultural Care site there are 20 pages pf 15 au pairs each when you filter only IQ, and this are the ones with no primary match, because those you cannot see, this is for everyone to see, not necessary to be with the agency:

http://match.culturalcare.com/our-au-pairs/find-au-pair.aspx?page=1

CC does not have the extraordinary selection but even so I guess (maybe) you can find more that 6 out of the 300 (?) just trying to help

Host Mom X September 23, 2013 at 11:14 am

Yes, I think if you filter out by “more than two willing” you will see a lot less. But – we are a “more than two” family, and we just didn’t put that filter on. Would rather speak with the AP, explain the job that we are offering (we send a “dare to match” type email with loads of info about what the job will really be like), and see what they say. They are just checking off boxes when they fill out that part of the application, and they very well may be willing to work with YOUR more-than-two family.

AnotherSeattleHostMom September 20, 2013 at 2:46 pm

We wanted an IQ Au Pair again this time even though my son is nearly 3. He’s still in diapers and most of the non IQ au pairs didn’t have experience with toddlers and preschoolers. I asked APIA to give me access to the IQ pool and they resisted a bit (until I said I’d find a different agency!) and then they assigned me a fictitious pregnancy on my application so I could view them. I just had to explain to the au pairs that I wasn’t actually having a baby when I contacted them. :)

Seattle Mom September 20, 2013 at 4:59 pm

Now I’m wondering if I can’t see IQ applicants on the Cultural Care site. It’s strange because the person I’m interviewing now has over 400 hours of experience with kids under 2, but nowhere on her app does it say “infant qualified.” I wonder if she just chose not to get the designation. It would explain one thing- I met someone on the internet who is applying to be an AP through CCAP and she said I should be able to find her on the website but I couldn’t, even though I looked thoroughly- she is infant qualified, so that would explain a lot. In the end she just emailed me her app, and I decided that I wasn’t really interested in her anyway.

Seattle Mom September 19, 2013 at 4:32 pm

We also had a lousy AP who looked great on paper and in interviews.. she happened to be IQ. Not only that, but she grew up with her mother running a freaking day care out of their home. And yes, my husband is fluent in her language (and I speak some). But she was just one of those people who puts on a really good edifice and can maintain it for about 30 minutes… then her face turns to stone and you could use her eyes to make popsicles.

KM September 16, 2013 at 3:47 pm

Au Pair Mom is a great resource for discussion topics about real life situations that conflict with regulations or agency policies. Guidelines, whether law or agency policies, are developed based on program experiences. As a host family, my program experience is limited. I don’t know all that can or has probably happened in situations such as this. My perspective is to play by the rules. A not-infant-qualified au pair caring for an infant is vulnerable. The infant is vulnerable. Should something go wrong, then what?

Momma Gadget September 17, 2013 at 10:09 am

I agree with KM. But I (sadly) don’t have infants anymore, so I can’t honestly say I wouldn’t feel differently if I did.

Dorsi September 17, 2013 at 11:22 am

I do not believe that a 22-month-old is significantly more vulnerable than a 25-month-old. I do not believe that my not mobile 8-month-old child has significantly more childcare needs than a tantruming 3-year-old. I think that the designation is of very little use. If I recall correctly, it arose after a tragedy in Boston involving a shaken baby. I think there is wisdom in not allowing new Au Pairs, who are likely new in this country and quite isolated, to care for tiny infants under the age of 3 month. I think the rest of the infant qualification is fairly meaningless.

I am about ready to match with my 6th infant qualified candidate. I am a little tired with being limited to that part of the pool. one of my Au Pairs have known how to deal with pumped breast milk, homemade purées, or sleep training. These are clearly not worldwide phenomenon and I have had to coach them regarding our needs. I can train my 4-year-old to change the diaper. It is incumbent on the parents to find a child care provider who either knows the needs of their children, or can be trained to fulfill them. I do not think providing a special qualification to candidates that have some number of hours in the company of some child under the age of 2, is useful. It may even be dangerous as it provides a false sense of security.

Host Mom X September 18, 2013 at 1:04 pm

I completely agree with this, Dorsi, and hadn’t even thought of it from the “false sense of security” standpoint. Although – despite my APC “Infant Specialized” rant – I have to say that I think that APC handles the false sense of security potential with infant-qualified APs properly. That is, APC does not emblazon the profiles of APs with an “Infant Qualified” mark the way that, e.g. APIA does. They simply don’t allow those with infants in the home to view any profiles that are NOT “infant qualified” per the 200 hours. But the APIA special “mark” might make a parent think there is something about this particular AP that makes them more “qualified” to care for an infant, which is just not true.

Seattle Mom September 19, 2013 at 4:29 pm

I agree with you. Like a lot of the new airport security laws, these rules are there to make us feel better about jumping into this situation (hiring an AP we have never met before to take care of our precious children- or getting on an airplane with 200 strangers) but they make very little difference in anyone’s safety or security. There are bad APs and good APs who are infant qualified as well as not. There are no guarantees. The best you can do is vet people well, use your intuition, and take responsibility for your own actions and choices. Pray to yahweh that it all works out in the end!

Dorsi September 17, 2013 at 11:37 am

Ooop, that should read “None of my APs have known…”

AnotherSeattleHostMom September 17, 2013 at 2:11 pm

Our first au pair was infant qualified….and had never changed a diaper. True story :)

A Host Mom September 18, 2013 at 6:18 pm

Same here. Our 1st au pair removed my toddler’s diaper and then chased her around the house trying to put the new diaper on said running child. I can laugh at it now 6 years later, but I almost died at that moment.

Seattle Mom September 19, 2013 at 4:25 pm

Wait… that happens to me frequently with my 2 1/2 year old. Is there something I’m missing?

AnotherSeattleHostMom September 20, 2013 at 2:51 pm

Haha. It was pretty awesome because BOTH of my kids were in diapers at the time…my son was 6 months and my daughter was about to turn two. We used cloth diapers too which are fairly disgusting for a 2 year old :) It was total trial by fire:

“You’ve never changed a diaper before in your 200 hours of infant care? As soon as I pick my chin up off the floor I’m going to tell you that today you will be changing about 10-12 diapers. Better learn fast, missy!” (and she did).

I was pretty annoyed though because she outright lied in her application about changing diapers. She really had cared for an infant but apparently only for a few hours at a time and the mom told her she didn’t need to “bother” to change the diaper, she’d do it when she left and when she came home.

She ended up being a great au pair though!!

Seattle Mom September 20, 2013 at 5:03 pm

Wow, I’m glad she worked out anyway- I guess she learned fast!

We ditched cloth diapers once we got our AP… we were too lazy to teach her, and my then-9 month old was VERY squirmy and you had to be able to diaper her fast or she’d run away. Now at 2 1/2 she’s mostly out of diapers, but I have to diaper her for bedtime and she makes it very difficult, that little rascal.

spanishaupair September 21, 2013 at 7:32 pm

Well i have been an aupair working on a 35-40 hour basis in Cambridge with a 12 month girl and never changed her nappy, my HM was stay at home and she said that she was the one to change her because it was her daughter’s poos and i didnt have to suffer them
I learnt the hard way when im came to Ireland with 2 girls on nappies, but learnt quick and even changing family for another reasons, i have been 15 months taking care of babies and toddlers without really big training but yeah i should have qualified for being an IQ in USA

Skny September 19, 2013 at 6:49 pm

That still happens to me and my 1.5yio. She is fast and once dirty diaper is off, she will wiggle away and do a huge scene if you try to get it back on

Seattle Mom September 20, 2013 at 5:04 pm

Yeah, my kid’s been like that since she can walk. I’m really glad that she’s about 75% potty trained.

Host Mom X September 23, 2013 at 11:18 am

About to have another baby and you are all scaring me. :-) Haven’t attempted a diaper change in nearly two years.

JJ Host Mom September 23, 2013 at 11:24 am

I use to lay my kids on the floor and throw my leg over their belly to imprison them while I did a diaper change.

Boys Mama September 25, 2013 at 5:49 pm

I think this is a great discussion, and without any further input about whether its right or wrong to get this specific AP, we had a similar situation and solved it. It was our first AP many, many moons ago and we knew absolutely nothing about how to choose. I found a non IQ AP that I “loved!” (Face palm) and we were able to get her into a kindergarten as a volunteer to obtain enough required hours in time. We got lucky, she was fine.

Skny September 26, 2013 at 2:56 pm

Oh, that’s a great idea.

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