It’s kind of ironic for me to post a query about the topic of how to interpret the lag time between sending an email and an au pair candidate responding.
As several of you with whom I correspond with on email already know– I can be “not very prompt” in my replies. What does this mean?
Usually, it doesn’t mean much. The “information value” of response time is low, because there are just too many variables.
Too much work, replied in your head, scattered attention, waiting for inspiration — all these are better explanations than “What’s wrong with me that s/he won’t reply? Doesn’t s/he like me?”
EXCEPT when it’s a prospective au pair who hasn’t replied.
Don’t you think that if s/he was really that into you she’d reply to your host family email right away? I think so.
This HotMailHostMom, below, is right to worry that she hasn’t heard back. BUT she can’t assume anything — at least not yet. So, what should she do?
How long should you wait for a reply before trying with another serious email?
How many times should you email, before giving up?
Dear AuPairMoms —
I am a HM in the middle of the search for an au pair to replace our
current au pair who is leaving in December. I have spent hours on your
wonderful blog getting lots of advice and tips on how to match with an
au pair who works for us. We love our current au pair but she was the
first application we ever looked at and we knew she was perfect
immediately, so we have never actually gone through much of a search
My question is this – is it unreasonable to expect a quickish response
from au pairs when we email them about a possible match after
initially looking at their application? We have two in particular that
seem great on paper and we are very excited to talk to. We have
emailed with them twice and suggested times to skype, but both of them
seem to be slow to respond to us – over 24 hours between when we email
them and they respond both times so far, and we are still waiting on
both for a time to skype. I realize not everyone is as “connected” as
we are – both my partner and I have iphones, so we can obsessively
check our email – but is it unreasonable to expect a response within a
24 hour period? It seems to me if they know there is a matching
process going on they should be checking email a little more often
than every day and a half or so.
My real issue is that I wonder if we are working harder at this and
are more excited about a match than they are, and if that is the case
it doesn’t seem like it bodes well for our relationship going forward.
So, if your wise readers tell us we are being silly to expect a
quicker response we will chill out and go work our handbook. But if
anyone thinks we should cut them both loose and start over we would
like to hear that too!
Thanks so much!