We try not to meddle, but sometimes the temptation is too high… like, when you know a ReallyGreatAuPair® who’s going into rematch. Host Mom Jemima would love your advice, maybe even if it means trying to do a re-match through the comments… !
From Host Mom Jemima —
When I was choosing my current (and 2nd) AP, we had two AWESOME candidates. They both were really so good I could have flipped a coin because I simply couldn’t make a decision. We chose the one that my husband clicked with slightly more because I just could not decide. Needless to say I interviewed both girls extensively, got to know and like them both very much. In the end, we are happy with our choice (let’s call her #1). But I did stay in touch with #2 as well.
#2 found a family of 4 boys ranging from 11 mths to 9 years in the Midwest. She loved it, made many friends, and was really enjoying her year. One of the older boys got violent with her one night while the parents were at a party. When she told the parents what happened, and showed them the bruises on her legs, they were very upset with her and said she was weak and that she didn’t know how to handle boys.
She said she wanted to work through it with them, but the child went unpunished and they wouldn’t support her. This made her feel like the parents had given a green light to the older boys to be violent with her. They went into rematch, both parents blaming her for being a weak and immature AP. In my opinion, it was a case where the mother didn’t want to see the truth about her parenting and her sweet little boy.
I talked to my LCC about her, told her the story, and she actually found a great family in my area. I was thrilled that I got to meet her in person. However, their was some infidelity among the host parents and after only a month they have decided to divorce and that they can’t afford an AP. So yesterday she went into rematch again.
The host family loves her, but the family is just in such turmoil, and the kids are older so an AP was a luxury that they had to cut. I’m not sure why they brought an AP in to such uncertainty. I just feel terrible about what has happened to this Au Pair.
Her year is up in July, but she hoping to extend. Now she feels a little bit unsure given that this was not the way she hoped her year would go.
This is a great Au Pair and she *should* go to a great family!! I’m telling you, if I didn’t like #1 so much, or if her year was up, I would snatch up #2 in a heartbeat. In fact, when #2 told me she wanted to extend, my wheels started spinning that maybe I COULD have a way to chose #1 and #2, which is what I would have liked to do all along! The idea of not going through the grueling process again, and getting that great AP I had to let go so many months ago! But I digress…
This is a great Au Pair: In Germany she worked in a Kindergarten with 3-6 year olds, often time alone with 20+ kids. She also was a tutor, a housekeeper, and a youth group leader.
She has thousands of hours handling kids of all ages. She really has a heart for children. I am very very picky about my child care and I would trust her with my kids and in my home in a heartbeat. Her English is great, her driving is excellent, she is not a party girl, just a super sweet kid-loving, 20 year old, who wants to be part of a family and who really is worried that no one will want her because of 2 rematches.
She is with a certain Au Pair Agency. I don’t know if it is appropriate, but I’m trying to figure out how to help her. If you know any moms right now in rematch with that program, can I give you her name to see if she would be a good match. She went into rematch yesterday and her expiration for the family is 20th of Jan when the host mom will move out with the host kids from the dad.
Again, I have no idea what is appropriate here, but I just WISH I knew someone who needed a GREAT AP in rematch, because she is one. She’s a little wounded, but would work all the harder to prove herself and wants nothing more but to stay in the US for another 1.5 years.
Thanks for any advice you can give!
Readers– any ideas for helping this Au Pair get a great rematch family?
[ Note: Normally, I’d steer clear of trying to organize rematches through AuPairMom– but Host Mom Jemima is a loyal reader and contributor (using a pseudonym) so I’m experimenting with making an exception. If you want to intervene directly, I can connect you with Host Mom Jemima. — cv ]