Comments on: Choosing an Au Pair: How to Avoid a Princess http://AuPairMom.com/how-to-avoid-a-princess/2009/09/26/celiaharquail/ Helping Host Parents and Au Pairs build great relationships. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 17:48:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Classis Case: Can you change a Princess? http://AuPairMom.com/how-to-avoid-a-princess/2009/09/26/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-20490 Classis Case: Can you change a Princess? Fri, 25 Nov 2011 19:11:16 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2005#comment-20490 [...] Choosing an Au Pair: How to Avoid a Princess Choosing Your Next Au Pair: Beware of the Contrast Effect Classic Case: We’re in rematch… Now what? Have you ever regretted that you initiated a rematch? [...] [...] Choosing an Au Pair: How to Avoid a Princess Choosing Your Next Au Pair: Beware of the Contrast Effect Classic Case: We’re in rematch… Now what? Have you ever regretted that you initiated a rematch? [...]

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]]> By: APUSA http://AuPairMom.com/how-to-avoid-a-princess/2009/09/26/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-19220 APUSA Tue, 26 Jul 2011 22:13:28 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2005#comment-19220 A Host Mom: I agree that's what I was trying to say. You just said it much better lol ^_^ A Host Mom: I agree that’s what I was trying to say. You just said it much better lol ^_^

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]]> By: A Host Mom http://AuPairMom.com/how-to-avoid-a-princess/2009/09/26/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-19208 A Host Mom Sun, 24 Jul 2011 15:09:43 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2005#comment-19208 APUSA: I think something is getting lost here. The au pair-host family relationship is a mutually beneficial arrangement. The au pair is not more important than the HF and vice versa. Yes, the au pair helps the family, but the family helps the au pair as well and pays for those services. The au pair provides a great service to host families by caring for their children. The host family provides a great service to au pairs by providing them with room and board for a full year, an educational allowance, a car and then pays them money for watching their kids (and sometimes along with other perks, like vacations, car, cellphone, etc.). In short, the au pairs works and the host family pays. Au pairs and host families need to stop getting caught up in the "who is more important to whom" and who is getting more out of the relationship. I understand that everyone wants to feel important, but this type of thinking is not constructive at all and just builds resentment. APUSA: I think something is getting lost here. The au pair-host family relationship is a mutually beneficial arrangement. The au pair is not more important than the HF and vice versa. Yes, the au pair helps the family, but the family helps the au pair as well and pays for those services. The au pair provides a great service to host families by caring for their children. The host family provides a great service to au pairs by providing them with room and board for a full year, an educational allowance, a car and then pays them money for watching their kids (and sometimes along with other perks, like vacations, car, cellphone, etc.). In short, the au pairs works and the host family pays. Au pairs and host families need to stop getting caught up in the “who is more important to whom” and who is getting more out of the relationship. I understand that everyone wants to feel important, but this type of thinking is not constructive at all and just builds resentment.

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]]> By: APUSA http://AuPairMom.com/how-to-avoid-a-princess/2009/09/26/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-19204 APUSA Sat, 23 Jul 2011 21:40:00 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2005#comment-19204 Aria's post did come across pretty bitter but Anon_mom's post came across as 50 times worse. and so do quite a lot of the HF's posts (of course not all, not even most, but quite a few). I understand that a lot of you have had really horrible au pairs but you must remember that there are horrible HFs too. What I think Aria was trying to say was that some times it seems that some HFs don't really appreciate us. She's right, we are doing a job FOR YOU. Yes we get paid but that doesn't change the fact that it is FOR YOU. Yes taking care of children is fun but while some times it's easy, some times it can be really hard. I can't believe that as a parent you can say that raising children isn't hard work. Aria’s post did come across pretty bitter but Anon_mom’s post came across as 50 times worse. and so do quite a lot of the HF’s posts (of course not all, not even most, but quite a few). I understand that a lot of you have had really horrible au pairs but you must remember that there are horrible HFs too.
What I think Aria was trying to say was that some times it seems that some HFs don’t really appreciate us. She’s right, we are doing a job FOR YOU. Yes we get paid but that doesn’t change the fact that it is FOR YOU.
Yes taking care of children is fun but while some times it’s easy, some times it can be really hard. I can’t believe that as a parent you can say that raising children isn’t hard work.

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]]> By: Taking a Computer Lunch http://AuPairMom.com/how-to-avoid-a-princess/2009/09/26/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-16784 Taking a Computer Lunch Thu, 17 Feb 2011 02:11:40 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2005#comment-16784 My first LCC recommended matching with APs who had played a sport or an instrument, because it showed that they could persevere and have success in their lives. While I really haven't looked for sporty or musical types, I have looked for APs who have gone the extra mile - received good grades, completed an education program that required them to work in an area related to their field, or who have demonstrated interest in the world around them put putting themselves into situations outside their class or country (e.g. working in a summer camp in another country, volunteering in a prison, and of course - important to me, working with people with special needs). Volunteering is important in my family, so I look for APs who reach out to their wider communities - not necessarily as volunteers. It's amazing but even young women fresh out of high school can demonstrate a commitment to the wider world that will serve them very well during their AP year. Because, while we bring them into our homes to care for our children, they also must take classes,attend AP meetings and develop new friendships with complete strangers. Personally, I don't need photos with a lot of kids - I want to see love, whether its among their family, in their friendships, and displayed in the photo(s) with children. The child who is leaning away from a young woman in a photo says a lot more than the one hugging! My first LCC recommended matching with APs who had played a sport or an instrument, because it showed that they could persevere and have success in their lives.

While I really haven’t looked for sporty or musical types, I have looked for APs who have gone the extra mile – received good grades, completed an education program that required them to work in an area related to their field, or who have demonstrated interest in the world around them put putting themselves into situations outside their class or country (e.g. working in a summer camp in another country, volunteering in a prison, and of course – important to me, working with people with special needs).

Volunteering is important in my family, so I look for APs who reach out to their wider communities – not necessarily as volunteers. It’s amazing but even young women fresh out of high school can demonstrate a commitment to the wider world that will serve them very well during their AP year. Because, while we bring them into our homes to care for our children, they also must take classes,attend AP meetings and develop new friendships with complete strangers.

Personally, I don’t need photos with a lot of kids – I want to see love, whether its among their family, in their friendships, and displayed in the photo(s) with children. The child who is leaning away from a young woman in a photo says a lot more than the one hugging!

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]]> By: AFHostMom http://AuPairMom.com/how-to-avoid-a-princess/2009/09/26/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-16781 AFHostMom Wed, 16 Feb 2011 21:49:10 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2005#comment-16781 Resurrecting this old post cause I need this info during our rematch process. ;) Dorsi's post strikes a chord with me, and here's something to think about, potential AP's: when you select which pictures to upload, I really don't need 2 of the 5 of them to be you hanging with your girls. Or even one of the 5. *Personally* I have been taking those girls off our list with quickness (because their letter usually says something else like "I am fascinated with America, and oh yeah I love kids too." Work on that). Since we are in rematch I am particularly concerned about avoiding a princess. Resurrecting this old post cause I need this info during our rematch process. ;)
Dorsi’s post strikes a chord with me, and here’s something to think about, potential AP’s: when you select which pictures to upload, I really don’t need 2 of the 5 of them to be you hanging with your girls. Or even one of the 5. *Personally* I have been taking those girls off our list with quickness (because their letter usually says something else like “I am fascinated with America, and oh yeah I love kids too.” Work on that).
Since we are in rematch I am particularly concerned about avoiding a princess.

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]]> By: DC mom http://AuPairMom.com/how-to-avoid-a-princess/2009/09/26/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-12708 DC mom Tue, 10 Aug 2010 15:27:41 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2005#comment-12708 Sadly, I disagree that there is any way to detect or prevent an AP princess. I'm on #2 and #2 who comes from a poor family is also a princess. I've discovered from talking to both, and their friends, that the program is marketted that way. "Come to America...these wealthy families will welcome you and take care of you and all you have to do is watch their kids. It's so easy AND they pay you. AND they pay for your school. AND they provide a car. AND. AND. AND." Yes, several AP's from all different countries all described it exactly the same way. Until the programs all change how the market and solicit AP's, this will continue. Sadly, I disagree that there is any way to detect or prevent an AP princess. I’m on #2 and #2 who comes from a poor family is also a princess. I’ve discovered from talking to both, and their friends, that the program is marketted that way. “Come to America…these wealthy families will welcome you and take care of you and all you have to do is watch their kids. It’s so easy AND they pay you. AND they pay for your school. AND they provide a car. AND. AND. AND.” Yes, several AP’s from all different countries all described it exactly the same way. Until the programs all change how the market and solicit AP’s, this will continue.

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]]> By: potential AP in match process http://AuPairMom.com/how-to-avoid-a-princess/2009/09/26/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-10244 potential AP in match process Thu, 10 Jun 2010 07:18:37 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2005#comment-10244 Hi DHM&DHD! My name is Karelin & im a potencial au pair in the match process with 7120hours of childcare experience, I trully love kids so Im looking for a lovely family which would love to spend an incredible experience with me, Im with Au Pair In America & I did a page about me & my environment & my skills specially for you, dont hesitate in call me or ask me anything. Good day! http://karelinyourbestaupair.blogspot.com/ 4sure Im not a princess Hi DHM&DHD! My name is Karelin & im a potencial au pair in the match process with 7120hours of childcare experience, I trully love kids so Im looking for a lovely family which would love to spend an incredible experience with me, Im with Au Pair In America & I did a page about me & my environment & my skills specially for you, dont hesitate in call me or ask me anything. Good day! http://karelinyourbestaupair.blogspot.com/

4sure Im not a princess

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]]> By: Anonymous http://AuPairMom.com/how-to-avoid-a-princess/2009/09/26/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-8693 Anonymous Fri, 30 Apr 2010 20:33:57 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2005#comment-8693 The cost!! An average young American with little working experience is not getting pay nearly as much as an AuPair. After getting their salary and deduct all the living expenses, do they have $800-$1000 cash left in their pockets?? All AP need a reality check. HF provides everything, more than any average employer. AP are clueless about HF’s total out of pocket cost (and the hidden costs). Keep in mind, AP were "sold" with the idea from the agency, they are coming to America for an experience life in the United States, see how Americans live day-to-day, make new friends from around the world and travel throughout the U.S., improve English and attend classes at a nearby college. Plus, discover the rewards of caring for children." Notice, the last thing on the list is caring for children. My 1st AP was from Japan and she was wonderful. According to her, almost all AP are not here to "care for kids". Living in America is expensive and getting a VISA as an AP is the easiest way to enter this country. They are all here for a reason. If you are lucky, you will end up with an AP that truly cares for your kids. Last thing, HF paid a heavy fee to the agencies. The agencies supposed to screen for a qualified child care provider. The cost!! An average young American with little working experience is not getting pay nearly as much as an AuPair. After getting their salary and deduct all the living expenses, do they have $800-$1000 cash left in their pockets?? All AP need a reality check. HF provides everything, more than any average employer. AP are clueless about
HF’s total out of pocket cost (and the hidden costs). Keep in mind, AP were “sold” with the idea from the agency, they are coming to America for an experience life in the United States, see how Americans live day-to-day, make new friends from around the world and travel throughout the U.S., improve English and attend classes at a nearby college. Plus, discover the rewards of caring for children.” Notice, the last thing on the list is caring for children.
My 1st AP was from Japan and she was wonderful. According to her, almost all AP are not here to “care for kids”. Living in America is expensive and getting a VISA as an AP is the easiest way to enter this country. They are all here for a reason. If you are lucky, you will end up with an AP that truly cares for your kids.
Last thing, HF paid a heavy fee to the agencies. The agencies supposed to screen for a qualified child care provider.

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]]> By: Trina http://AuPairMom.com/how-to-avoid-a-princess/2009/09/26/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-4564 Trina Wed, 25 Nov 2009 20:05:46 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=2005#comment-4564 aria - fwiw, i think it took a lot of maturity and humility to come back, re-read your post and re-think how it came across. i'm sure you make a fine AP! aria – fwiw, i think it took a lot of maturity and humility to come back, re-read your post and re-think how it came across. i’m sure you make a fine AP!

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