Comments on: Help: My Au Pair is Blogging about My Family! http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/ Helping Host Parents and Au Pairs build great relationships. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 02:01:23 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Sela http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-19227 Sela Thu, 28 Jul 2011 00:56:06 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/#comment-19227 It's really interesting to see all the opinions on this issue. I'm an AP (an American in Australia) and I personally see no issue with blogging about such an adventure and momentous time in your life. APing isn't just a job, it's a LIFE, and as such it needs to be treated a little differently. However, I see no problems with a few guidelines. As for my blog, I am sure to go under a pseudonym, and I refer to my HF by pseudonyms (I've seen other APs simply use a first or last letter, such as "five year old M" or "P, the host mum"), and I am not so specific in my whereabouts (I usually JUST use "Australia"). And OF COURSE I don't badmouth the family on the blog. I try to keep it upbeat and positive. I can guarantee you (I've checked) that if you were to Google my name, it would not come up. Granted, many of my friends and family have the blog address. I've even had a bit of fun with it, keeping with a "Merry Ol' Land of Oz" theme (because Australia is often nicknamed "Oz"), and I call APing "The Yellow Brick Road", my HKs "munchkins" (HK1 is "Lullaby League", HK2 is "Lollipop Guild"), HM is "Glenda", HD is "Wizard", homesickness is "Wicked Witch", etc etc. That's just my opinion. My HF knows about my blog, and they read it and love it! It’s really interesting to see all the opinions on this issue.
I’m an AP (an American in Australia) and I personally see no issue with blogging about such an adventure and momentous time in your life. APing isn’t just a job, it’s a LIFE, and as such it needs to be treated a little differently.
However, I see no problems with a few guidelines. As for my blog, I am sure to go under a pseudonym, and I refer to my HF by pseudonyms (I’ve seen other APs simply use a first or last letter, such as “five year old M” or “P, the host mum”), and I am not so specific in my whereabouts (I usually JUST use “Australia”). And OF COURSE I don’t badmouth the family on the blog. I try to keep it upbeat and positive. I can guarantee you (I’ve checked) that if you were to Google my name, it would not come up. Granted, many of my friends and family have the blog address.
I’ve even had a bit of fun with it, keeping with a “Merry Ol’ Land of Oz” theme (because Australia is often nicknamed “Oz”), and I call APing “The Yellow Brick Road”, my HKs “munchkins” (HK1 is “Lullaby League”, HK2 is “Lollipop Guild”), HM is “Glenda”, HD is “Wizard”, homesickness is “Wicked Witch”, etc etc.

That’s just my opinion. My HF knows about my blog, and they read it and love it!

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]]> By: Aupair http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-5499 Aupair Sun, 10 Jan 2010 17:04:53 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/#comment-5499 I have a blog about my family too and while I criticise, there is nothing maliscious. As long as privacy is upheld I don't see the problem. Apart from wounded pride I have a blog about my family too and while I criticise, there is nothing maliscious. As long as privacy is upheld I don’t see the problem. Apart from wounded pride

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]]> By: Emma http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-5349 Emma Wed, 06 Jan 2010 17:37:23 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/#comment-5349 I have one also, but I asked my HF's permission first, and set it to private/invitation-only to protect my HF's privacy, and let my HM have an invite so she could see that I wasn't posting anything inappropriate. It's mostly just so my family and friends can see what I'm doing and the pics I'm taking anyway. I have one also, but I asked my HF’s permission first, and set it to private/invitation-only to protect my HF’s privacy, and let my HM have an invite so she could see that I wasn’t posting anything inappropriate. It’s mostly just so my family and friends can see what I’m doing and the pics I’m taking anyway.

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]]> By: PA aupair mom http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-5346 PA aupair mom Wed, 06 Jan 2010 16:00:59 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/#comment-5346 Our current AP has a blog and she blogs about her time in the USA and also about life with our family. She asked my permission before she started. Her posts are always appropriate and don't give out any information that is too specific. I love reading the blog and so do my extended family members and her family members. She posts it in English and Swedish so everyone can read and enjoy it! Our current AP has a blog and she blogs about her time in the USA and also about life with our family. She asked my permission before she started. Her posts are always appropriate and don’t give out any information that is too specific. I love reading the blog and so do my extended family members and her family members. She posts it in English and Swedish so everyone can read and enjoy it!

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]]> By: New AuPair http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-5345 New AuPair Wed, 06 Jan 2010 14:57:37 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/#comment-5345 I have a blog, but I never write anything about my family! I write about the things I do in my off time, weekends or new adventures I have. Maybe you could suggest she use her blog for that! I think having a blog is great, if you use it in the right way. The blog I use can even be turned into a published book so that you can always have your entries and memories for years to come!!! I have a blog, but I never write anything about my family! I write about the things I do in my off time, weekends or new adventures I have. Maybe you could suggest she use her blog for that! I think having a blog is great, if you use it in the right way. The blog I use can even be turned into a published book so that you can always have your entries and memories for years to come!!!

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]]> By: Au pair http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-1252 Au pair Sat, 28 Mar 2009 23:16:23 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/#comment-1252 It´s very common for au pairs to be excited about the travel and the daily life in USA and feel the need of showing it to the world. Also it´s very common to have bad and good days at work and want these things to be shared, specially when you are far from home and family. The first thing I was concerned when I created my blog was my host family´s privacy. I have decided I would NOT post any picture or host family´s names on it without their permission. One of the rules for Au PAir Program is to consider host family´s privacy. I am very carefull about it. I think the bedt Raiul can do is TALK to her au pair and tell the truth; I have read your blog and I think it´s not cool that you expose our family. I am sure your au pair will understand and be carefull about it. Also donpt get too personal about what she wrote. Lots of girl just had a busy day and need to complain about little things just to feel better. It´s very common for au pairs to be excited about the travel and the daily life in USA and feel the need of showing it to the world. Also it´s very common to have bad and good days at work and want these things to be shared, specially when you are far from home and family.
The first thing I was concerned when I created my blog was my host family´s privacy. I have decided I would NOT post any picture or host family´s names on it without their permission. One of the rules for Au PAir Program is to consider host family´s privacy. I am very carefull about it.

I think the bedt Raiul can do is TALK to her au pair and tell the truth; I have read your blog and I think it´s not cool that you expose our family. I am sure your au pair will understand and be carefull about it. Also donpt get too personal about what she wrote. Lots of girl just had a busy day and need to complain about little things just to feel better.

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]]> By: RaiulBaztepo http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-1251 RaiulBaztepo Sat, 28 Mar 2009 22:13:29 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/#comment-1251 Hello! Very Interesting post! Thank you for such interesting resource! PS: Sorry for my bad english, I'v just started to learn this language ;) See you! Your, Raiul Baztepo Hello!
Very Interesting post! Thank you for such interesting resource!
PS: Sorry for my bad english, I’v just started to learn this language ;)
See you!
Your, Raiul Baztepo

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]]> By: Calif mom http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-750 Calif mom Fri, 30 Jan 2009 21:06:17 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/#comment-750 Glad to hear this worked out! What a chance to model open communication! Pat yourself on the back for doing the hard--but right-- thing. I really do think hosting APs is going to be good training for having teenagers. : ) I was thinking about your situation when I stumbled on the facebook page of an AP who is in our neighborhood. When a status update during the day was "only three more hours to go!" and then "Boy am I glad to be done with work for the day!" I had pangs. Her hosts are not on facebook. And she's a second-year, and I know she loves her family. And of course we all have days like this, but seeing that post (which we all could make some days) made me more aware about how whining/complaining comes across on the web. That a-ha inspired me to come check out comments and see what happened with the AP who was blogging about her host family. So now, my question is how (and whether) to work this into conversation with our AP, who does not have an English language facebook page that I have found, or a blog, or anything like that. I do need to update our family handbook anyway, because for one thing the kids are a lot older now and doing different things. Shame on me, I didn't update it when she joined us in August. I am about to return to work, so maybe that can be my excuse for presenting new guidelines and maybe setting up some new systems? Or is going to feel to her like I'm unhappy with her performance (a couple things need help, like reinforcing her morning start time). After cvh's great post about New Year's being a good time to start all things anew, I tried to establish weekly 'family meetings' on Sunday evenings, but so far they have never worked out (usually because my family is out doing various activities). I feel that we need to jump-start our conversations about how things are going BEFORE anything starts to slide. We're at that almost-6-months stage where APs can start to slip. But nothing is really going overtly wrong, so I don't want to send the wrong signal to her by suddenly suggesting meetings or handing her a new handbook. Background: I'm a delegator by nature, definitely not a micro-manager, and this is something I'm terrible at in the workplace, too. I much prefer working with my employees who just get stuff done to the ones I have to actively manage. I am a strategist, not a detail maven. But I also see how learning how to be a bit of a more active manager at home will build skills I can use at work, and vice versa. I've also experienced the slide and ultimate departure of APs who get into that slump, so I'm nervous. But I have no reason to think that's happening this time, just want to strengthen what we do have. Any ideas? thanks, everyone! Glad to hear this worked out! What a chance to model open communication! Pat yourself on the back for doing the hard–but right– thing. I really do think hosting APs is going to be good training for having teenagers. : )

I was thinking about your situation when I stumbled on the facebook page of an AP who is in our neighborhood. When a status update during the day was “only three more hours to go!” and then “Boy am I glad to be done with work for the day!” I had pangs. Her hosts are not on facebook. And she’s a second-year, and I know she loves her family. And of course we all have days like this, but seeing that post (which we all could make some days) made me more aware about how whining/complaining comes across on the web.

That a-ha inspired me to come check out comments and see what happened with the AP who was blogging about her host family.

So now, my question is how (and whether) to work this into conversation with our AP, who does not have an English language facebook page that I have found, or a blog, or anything like that. I do need to update our family handbook anyway, because for one thing the kids are a lot older now and doing different things. Shame on me, I didn’t update it when she joined us in August. I am about to return to work, so maybe that can be my excuse for presenting new guidelines and maybe setting up some new systems? Or is going to feel to her like I’m unhappy with her performance (a couple things need help, like reinforcing her morning start time).

After cvh’s great post about New Year’s being a good time to start all things anew, I tried to establish weekly ‘family meetings’ on Sunday evenings, but so far they have never worked out (usually because my family is out doing various activities). I feel that we need to jump-start our conversations about how things are going BEFORE anything starts to slide. We’re at that almost-6-months stage where APs can start to slip. But nothing is really going overtly wrong, so I don’t want to send the wrong signal to her by suddenly suggesting meetings or handing her a new handbook.

Background: I’m a delegator by nature, definitely not a micro-manager, and this is something I’m terrible at in the workplace, too. I much prefer working with my employees who just get stuff done to the ones I have to actively manage. I am a strategist, not a detail maven. But I also see how learning how to be a bit of a more active manager at home will build skills I can use at work, and vice versa.

I’ve also experienced the slide and ultimate departure of APs who get into that slump, so I’m nervous. But I have no reason to think that’s happening this time, just want to strengthen what we do have.

Any ideas?

thanks, everyone!

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]]> By: Maya http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-665 Maya Fri, 16 Jan 2009 21:44:57 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/#comment-665 I forgot to come her and give you all an update. I hat a talk with my au pair about bloging and internet privacy. I asked her that if she has a blog or journal on line where she talkes about our family to please not use our names and any ID info. Also, I told her that I have a blog where I can occasionally mention her as an au pair only. I told her that I also used to write about my old au pair who was aware of my blog and as such, I told my current au pair that she can check out my blog and let me know if she is not comfortable with it. I send her the link to my blog, but she never said anything about afterwards. So, all in all, everything is out in the open in the house and all is well. I forgot to come her and give you all an update.

I hat a talk with my au pair about bloging and internet privacy. I asked her that if she has a blog or journal on line where she talkes about our family to please not use our names and any ID info.

Also, I told her that I have a blog where I can occasionally mention her as an au pair only. I told her that I also used to write about my old au pair who was aware of my blog and as such, I told my current au pair that she can check out my blog and let me know if she is not comfortable with it. I send her the link to my blog, but she never said anything about afterwards.

So, all in all, everything is out in the open in the house and all is well.

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]]> By: Dawn http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-660 Dawn Fri, 16 Jan 2009 12:52:35 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/help-my-au-pair-is-blogging-about-my-family/2009/01/11/celiaharquail/#comment-660 Wow, sounds like a great resolution! Good for you for using this as an opportunity to IMPROVE your relationship/communication rather than letting it come between you! I ahve my au pair as a "friend" on Facebook as well -- I wonder how common that is? Our current au pair leaves in about a month and I've been emailing a lot with our incoming au pair, but I've been on the fence about whether to ask her if she's on Facebook and if she wants to add me as a friend. On the one hand, it's a great way for her to see a lot more pictures of the kids and get more of a glimpse into our everyday life than she gets via email. On the other hand, I don't want her to be "put off" by some of the goofy things my friends and I post on each other's pages, before she knows me in person, LOL! (Any suggestions?) Wow, sounds like a great resolution! Good for you for using this as an opportunity to IMPROVE your relationship/communication rather than letting it come between you!

I ahve my au pair as a “friend” on Facebook as well — I wonder how common that is? Our current au pair leaves in about a month and I’ve been emailing a lot with our incoming au pair, but I’ve been on the fence about whether to ask her if she’s on Facebook and if she wants to add me as a friend. On the one hand, it’s a great way for her to see a lot more pictures of the kids and get more of a glimpse into our everyday life than she gets via email. On the other hand, I don’t want her to be “put off” by some of the goofy things my friends and I post on each other’s pages, before she knows me in person, LOL! (Any suggestions?)

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