Of the five types of emails we get most often from Au Pairs, the most annoying type is when an Au Pair writes hoping we’ll resolve him or her of any guilt they feel over quitting.
There are times when it’s absolutely okay to quit.
To ask for rematch.
To throw in the towel and just go home.
But not this time.
Dear Au Pair–
Three weeks in and you’ve changed your mind about the whole year?
This is NOT a situation where I or any other host mom will pat you on the head and say, “Sure honey, go on home now. No problem.“
Note, too, that no Au Pair Agency will make it easier for you, either.
Frankly, you should feel guilty. People have invested time, money, and their kids’ emotions to make a place for you here.
They have interviewed you, sponsored you, welcomed you into their home, and introduced you to their children.
And you want to go home, because you’ve changed your mind?
No. I will not tell you that it’s okay for you to quit. I will not help make it easier for you to tell your Host Parents you’re leaving.
I don’t want to be mean. I’d prefer to be compassionate. But I’ve just seen this one too many times to have any patience left.
You other Host Parents might be kinder than me? And you Au Pairs might have some ideas?
Dear Au Pair Mom,
I really need your advice. I came here as an Au Pair a few weeks ago. Before I came here I was working in an office for about three years. Now I just realized that this is what I want to do again and I got a great chance in my home country which I really do want to take and that the whole Au Pair thing is not for me.
I know I haven’t been here for a long time but I’m sure that I want to go home and I’m sure that I won’t be happy if I stay or that things won’t change if I would wait for some more weeks. I’m meeting other Au Pairs and I even went to the gym but it doesn’t change anything. I know about culture shock and homesickness but it’s not about that.
However, I feel really bad because my host family is so nice and I don’t want to hurt their feelings. Can you give me an advice how I can tell this my host family in the nicest way that is possible?