We lie (parents and au pairs) to save face, to avoid consequences, and sometimes to deliberately deceive someone so that we can have things our way.
For all of us (host parents and au pairs) lying raises two sets of questions.
The first set of questions is about trustworthiness—
- Is this person who just lied to me someone I can trust again?
The second set of questions is about the relationship itself ––
- Is my/our relationship with this person who just lied to me a relationship that we value?
- Can the relationship withstand tolerating the lie (i.e., facesaving)? Or, can the relationship withstand a more direct discussion of the lie and the problems we feel it has caused?
- Can we forgive the person who lied?
I know she is lying to me, but I feel like there is nothing we can do since she is supposed to arrive in two days.
1) What if she doesn’t get on the plane? What recourse do I have? Can I get my $8000 back from the agency?
Sorry to freak out… but we’re kind of freaking out here! Thanks! ~AlmostANewHostMom