When I became a mom I knew that that I would need to become accustomed to dealing with things that, pre-motherhood, had completely grossed me out. I’m talking about poopy diapers, vomit, bloody noses, fart jokes, and public belching.
These were things that I would have to deal with, gross or not, because I was "the mom". The one in charge. The person with answers. The person with strategies for everything. Except for the things that I never imagined I’d have to deal with … like lice.
Lice are one of those ‘creepy, crawly, contagious things’ that completely gross me out. Whenever we would get those flyers from the pre-K or the YMCA day camp telling us that some little one at school or camp had head lice and that we all needed to check our kids, I’d shudder at the suggestion. Then, I’d toss the flyers in the trash, and congratulate myself that these gross little things would never, ever find their way home on my daughters’ heads.
The universe guffawed at my naiveté.
Last year, during what seemed to be a never ending flurry of head lice handouts, I finally got the call from the school nurse. One of my girlies had to be sent home for "treatment".
If you’ve ever read those handouts from the pre-K (you don’t just toss them out, do you?) you’d know that if one person in the household has head lice, you can pretty much assume everyone else does too. That includes you Mom. And yes, that includes your Au Pair. 
So how do you tell your au pair that she might have creepy, crawly, contagious, impossible to get rid of bugs in her hair, all because she snuggles with your child when they read books or watch a video together? How do you get her to use the stinky harsh lice shampoo, not once but several times, after she’s colored her hair so often that she’s afraid another Garnier Nutrisse will cause it all to break off? And, how do you get her to sit there in the kitchen for two hours, while you comb and pick through her whole head? Talk about up close and personal …
How do you get her to wash every single thing in her room? (Hint: you do that yourself.)
How do you convince her that the lice aren’t your fault, or your kids’ fault, or your dog’s fault, when you feel totally ashamed anyway?None of this was easy. I tried to think of it as a learning experience.
Several rounds of lice shampoo, combing, olive oil nightcaps, and laundry madness did nothing but test my self-composure and my creepy crawly endurance. Finally, I admitted that not even Her Momness, myself, could treat the situation effectively with over the counter, at-home remedies. I broke down and called a professional, one of those women who come to your house, put on a magnifying eyeshade, and get down to the dirty business. For around $200 per person.
Let me just say that was $800 I would rather have spent some other way. (I economized by asking my husband to get a supershort SuperCut.)
Let me also say: If When your family is attacked by creepy crawly, contagious things, do the the right thing and include your au pair in the ‘professional treatment plan’. While neither you nor she can think of that $200 treatment as a bonus, a gift, or a tip, you can think of it as one important time that you treat your au pair like a full fledged member of the family.
After all, the creepy crawly things did.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
If this happens to one of yours, please check out the website of the Harvard School of Public Health. They have the BEST advice on dealing with head lice (hint: in our region, none of those nasty shampoos or alternative treatments will work because the lice have developed resistance. You can test this by treating one of the buggers and putting it in a ziplock to see if the treatment works). The only cure is physically removing ticks and eggs (nits). Once you know what you’re looking for, they are easy to spot. The nausea is another thing…
CVH, you did the right thing in using manual removal — all those little nits really do have to be removed by hand. I had no idea you can hire this task out! Rent lots of videos and get a metal comb, they work much better than those lame plastic ones.
No one needs to get a haircut because of this.
And please, while lice are technically contagious in that they travel from one person to another, they are not a vector of other illnesses! You cannot get sick from lice, just itchy. I am much more upset when strep-infected kids are sent to school because Mom doesn’t want to deal with it. But I digress…
And please don’t feel ashamed! It is one of those things. Like kids picking their nose. It happens.
cvh, I’m so sorry you had to deal with this in your family, but I appreciate you letting the rest of us learn from your experience! I’ve been lucky and haven’t had to deal with this in my home yet (my two older kids are boys and have very short hair, so there’s been nothing for the lice to “grab onto,” but I know I’ll probably deal with it soon now that my daughter is in preschool!), but I did have to deal with it when I was on the Board of my son’s cooperative preschool. Definitely not fun, and there are a lot of misconceptions out there about lice, so I can TOTALLY understand how mortified you were to have to tell your AP that she might have them!
In addition to what Calif Mom mentioned above about lice NOT carrying other diseases (contrary to popular belief), another common misconception is that lice are a sign of poor hygiene. To the contrary, they are actually more attracted to CLEAN hair, so you can take it as a sign of good hygiene that they chose your family, LOL!
Another “tip” I thought I’d mention is about washing clothing and linens — in order to kill the lice/nits, the water temperature has to be at least 120 degrees. However, many families (mine included) have the regulator on our hot water heaters set lower than that in order to be safer for our kids. If you have an outbreak of lice in your home, be sure to check (and reset if necessary) your hot water heater to ensure that you are washing the affected items in hot enough water.