Comments for AuPairMom http://AuPairMom.com Helping Host Parents and Au Pairs build great relationships. Thu, 17 May 2012 18:39:40 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Comment on Do you celebrate your Au Pair on Mother’s Day? (poll) by PA AP mom http://AuPairMom.com/do-you-celebrate-your-au-pair-on-mothers-day-poll/2012/05/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-23338 PA AP mom Thu, 17 May 2012 18:39:40 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=6014#comment-23338 I disagree that it is inappropriate to give someone a card saying you appreciate them...on ANY day of the year! Our card said "Even though you aren't our mother, we wanted to let you know how great we thing you are and how much we appreciate you today and everyday!" I don't think it's necessary to give your AP a card on any day that you don't feel comfortable doing so, but I think it's a bit overzealous to call it "inappropriate" for those who want to do so. I disagree that it is inappropriate to give someone a card saying you appreciate them…on ANY day of the year! Our card said “Even though you aren’t our mother, we wanted to let you know how great we thing you are and how much we appreciate you today and everyday!”

I don’t think it’s necessary to give your AP a card on any day that you don’t feel comfortable doing so, but I think it’s a bit overzealous to call it “inappropriate” for those who want to do so.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0

]]> Comment on How should an Au Pair handle travelling with the Host Family, for 5 weeks? by Should be working http://AuPairMom.com/how-should-an-au-pair-handle-travelling-with-the-host-family-for-5-weeks/2012/05/10/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-23336 Should be working Thu, 17 May 2012 16:44:42 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=6021#comment-23336 Continuing with the digression about face time with LCC: I don't know how any au pair in our cluster would even achieve 'face time' with the LCC. She doesn't know them by name, meets them in big, busy places, they sign in and leave. Even if an AP wanted to bond a little with the LCC, I'm not sure she could. And our LCC has only contacted us twice in 9 months. We haven't yet had any problems, fortunately, but if we did I'd want to be the squeaky wheel who otherwise caused no issues for several years now. Continuing with the digression about face time with LCC: I don’t know how any au pair in our cluster would even achieve ‘face time’ with the LCC. She doesn’t know them by name, meets them in big, busy places, they sign in and leave. Even if an AP wanted to bond a little with the LCC, I’m not sure she could. And our LCC has only contacted us twice in 9 months. We haven’t yet had any problems, fortunately, but if we did I’d want to be the squeaky wheel who otherwise caused no issues for several years now.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0

]]> Comment on How should an Au Pair handle travelling with the Host Family, for 5 weeks? by LuvCheetos http://AuPairMom.com/how-should-an-au-pair-handle-travelling-with-the-host-family-for-5-weeks/2012/05/10/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-23335 LuvCheetos Thu, 17 May 2012 13:40:48 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=6021#comment-23335 I totally agree with TACL. Face time with the LCC is key for the AP. Our LCC LOVED our old AP (a APs ago) and would have done anything for her. Conversely, our LCC does not like our current AP because she doesn't attend the cluster meetings and the one she did attend, she was anti-social and only talked to one person. Our LCC would not go out on a limb for her if need be (no need, we're ok limping her along until she leaves). In fact, when she had her second car accident, our LCC actively encouraged us to rematch (which we didn't do becuase we had rematched several months before and our kids like the AP). I think it's smart for APs to get along with their LCC and learn to "manage up." They never know when they need the LCC and she can be a great advocate for them. I totally agree with TACL. Face time with the LCC is key for the AP. Our LCC LOVED our old AP (a APs ago) and would have done anything for her. Conversely, our LCC does not like our current AP because she doesn’t attend the cluster meetings and the one she did attend, she was anti-social and only talked to one person. Our LCC would not go out on a limb for her if need be (no need, we’re ok limping her along until she leaves). In fact, when she had her second car accident, our LCC actively encouraged us to rematch (which we didn’t do becuase we had rematched several months before and our kids like the AP).

I think it’s smart for APs to get along with their LCC and learn to “manage up.” They never know when they need the LCC and she can be a great advocate for them.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0

]]> Comment on How should an Au Pair handle travelling with the Host Family, for 5 weeks? by Taking a Computer Lunch http://AuPairMom.com/how-should-an-au-pair-handle-travelling-with-the-host-family-for-5-weeks/2012/05/10/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-23334 Taking a Computer Lunch Thu, 17 May 2012 11:09:07 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=6021#comment-23334 I wouldn't rematch unless you have a pro-active LCC willing to go to bat and find you another family or find another means for you to stay in the US and have your travel-month trip. If your LCC is not helpful, then call your agencies' headquarters and ask for assistance. We had this issue come up with AP #5. DH and I decided not to extend with her, but a potential HF didn't want her for 2 weeks after the end of her year with us. Her visa did not allow her to have a 2-week gap in employment, so the decision was to have her stay at our home until her new HF was ready for her, but that she would be officially working for (and paid by) them and using her 2-week vacation at the start of her year. For other APs - this is when face time with your LCC counts. I know not all are great - but if you don't attend meetings then she won't know who you are. She is your first line of intervention when you have a crisis with your HF. I wouldn’t rematch unless you have a pro-active LCC willing to go to bat and find you another family or find another means for you to stay in the US and have your travel-month trip. If your LCC is not helpful, then call your agencies’ headquarters and ask for assistance.

We had this issue come up with AP #5. DH and I decided not to extend with her, but a potential HF didn’t want her for 2 weeks after the end of her year with us. Her visa did not allow her to have a 2-week gap in employment, so the decision was to have her stay at our home until her new HF was ready for her, but that she would be officially working for (and paid by) them and using her 2-week vacation at the start of her year.

For other APs – this is when face time with your LCC counts. I know not all are great – but if you don’t attend meetings then she won’t know who you are. She is your first line of intervention when you have a crisis with your HF.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0

]]> Comment on How should an Au Pair handle travelling with the Host Family, for 5 weeks? by Anna http://AuPairMom.com/how-should-an-au-pair-handle-travelling-with-the-host-family-for-5-weeks/2012/05/10/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-23331 Anna Thu, 17 May 2012 06:06:42 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=6021#comment-23331 When we went into rematch with our 1st Au Pair I would have gladly taken someone with 55 days left. It takes me a little longer than most to choose my Au Pair and having to decide in 24 hrs on a rematch was too much pressure. Having someone like you would have given me time to find a perfect fit while still filling my gap in child care. So don't sell yourself short. I'm sure plenty of families would match with you. As for your current family....I would rematch immediately. They aren't being fair and will continue to take advantage of you. I travel often with my Au Pairs and I have only made 1 pay for a hotel. This was because she demanded!!! her own room and refused to share with my daughter. I understand the need for privacy but making demands the night before an all expense paid 10 day cruise was just too much for me to take. When we went into rematch with our 1st Au Pair I would have gladly taken someone with 55 days left. It takes me a little longer than most to choose my Au Pair and having to decide in 24 hrs on a rematch was too much pressure. Having someone like you would have given me time to find a perfect fit while still filling my gap in child care. So don’t sell yourself short. I’m sure plenty of families would match with you.

As for your current family….I would rematch immediately. They aren’t being fair and will continue to take advantage of you. I travel often with my Au Pairs and I have only made 1 pay for a hotel. This was because she demanded!!! her own room and refused to share with my daughter. I understand the need for privacy but making demands the night before an all expense paid 10 day cruise was just too much for me to take.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0

]]> Comment on Do you celebrate your Au Pair on Mother’s Day? (poll) by Melissa http://AuPairMom.com/do-you-celebrate-your-au-pair-on-mothers-day-poll/2012/05/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-23329 Melissa Thu, 17 May 2012 02:26:05 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=6014#comment-23329 I'm responding to this a bit late. No, it never even occurred to me to get our au pair a card or other acknowledgement for Mother's Day. We absolutely appreciate our au pair, view her as part of our family (in our best relationships, when our au pair also wanted to be a part of our familly), and show our appreciation for her in many other ways, as other posters have said. However, I would never think to acknowledge her on Mother's Day, as I think it would just be inappropriate, both on our end as host parents as hers as an au pair. I want her to be many things/roles to our children --- teacher, big sister, friend, caregiver, nanny, babysitter.... but not a mother. I’m responding to this a bit late. No, it never even occurred to me to get our au pair a card or other acknowledgement for Mother’s Day. We absolutely appreciate our au pair, view her as part of our family (in our best relationships, when our au pair also wanted to be a part of our familly), and show our appreciation for her in many other ways, as other posters have said. However, I would never think to acknowledge her on Mother’s Day, as I think it would just be inappropriate, both on our end as host parents as hers as an au pair. I want her to be many things/roles to our children — teacher, big sister, friend, caregiver, nanny, babysitter…. but not a mother.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0

]]> Comment on How should an Au Pair handle travelling with the Host Family, for 5 weeks? by DarthaStewart http://AuPairMom.com/how-should-an-au-pair-handle-travelling-with-the-host-family-for-5-weeks/2012/05/10/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-23327 DarthaStewart Wed, 16 May 2012 15:00:18 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=6021#comment-23327 I'm sitting her in slack-jawed amazement. I've heard some pretty crazy stories in my time (leaving the au-pair with the kids while the parents went to Mexico for a week?.. Check..). But this one takes serious ...... This just isn't right on so many levels. I’m sitting her in slack-jawed amazement. I’ve heard some pretty crazy stories in my time (leaving the au-pair with the kids while the parents went to Mexico for a week?.. Check..). But this one takes serious ……

This just isn’t right on so many levels.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0

]]> Comment on Tip: Know How To “Pull a Garbo” by INTJ Au Pair http://AuPairMom.com/tip-know-how-to-pull-a-garbo/2012/04/20/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-23326 INTJ Au Pair Wed, 16 May 2012 14:47:48 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=6004#comment-23326 Thank you all for the interesting answers! I will improve my experience, then, before becoming an AuPair! Special needs is something I find interesting to learn about and maybe I will focus on it. I mean, how to take care of this peculiar type of kids. Because they are, indeed, very special in a good way and I have a slightly idea of how difficult it is. Thank you all for the interesting answers! I will improve my experience, then, before becoming an AuPair! Special needs is something I find interesting to learn about and maybe I will focus on it. I mean, how to take care of this peculiar type of kids. Because they are, indeed, very special in a good way and I have a slightly idea of how difficult it is.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0

]]> Comment on Tip: Know How To “Pull a Garbo” by Taking a Computer Lunch http://AuPairMom.com/tip-know-how-to-pull-a-garbo/2012/04/20/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-23322 Taking a Computer Lunch Wed, 16 May 2012 11:07:37 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=6004#comment-23322 I would say that you would have a good chance of matching with active special needs experience, regardless of your personality type. As the parent of a special needs teenager, I look for au pairs who are more than special needs willing and have demonstrated experience (especially if it lasts more than 2 weeks to fill a hole in a resume). As an extreme extrovert, I do far better with outgoing APs, but my DH, who is on the line between I and E, is the one who has grilled the introverts who have shared our home. I would say that you would have a good chance of matching with active special needs experience, regardless of your personality type. As the parent of a special needs teenager, I look for au pairs who are more than special needs willing and have demonstrated experience (especially if it lasts more than 2 weeks to fill a hole in a resume).

As an extreme extrovert, I do far better with outgoing APs, but my DH, who is on the line between I and E, is the one who has grilled the introverts who have shared our home.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0

]]> Comment on Do you celebrate your Au Pair on Mother’s Day? (poll) by iamaupair http://AuPairMom.com/do-you-celebrate-your-au-pair-on-mothers-day-poll/2012/05/11/celiaharquail/comment-page-1/#comment-23321 iamaupair Wed, 16 May 2012 10:26:25 +0000 http://AuPairMom.com/?p=6014#comment-23321 Do we work hard? Yes. Do we love children we take care of? Yes. Do we want them to be happy? Yes. Do we do our bests while taking care of them? Yes. Do we deserve some appreciation? Well, I think, that yes. But Mother's Day is for MOTHERS. And the one can only have one mother. And this day is so special because it's all about moms, no one else. I wouldn't feel comfortable receiving a card on Mother's Day, because I am not a mother. I would rather give one to my Host Mom! :) Do we work hard? Yes.
Do we love children we take care of? Yes.
Do we want them to be happy? Yes.
Do we do our bests while taking care of them? Yes.
Do we deserve some appreciation? Well, I think, that yes.

But Mother’s Day is for MOTHERS. And the one can only have one mother. And this day is so special because it’s all about moms, no one else. I wouldn’t feel comfortable receiving a card on Mother’s Day, because I am not a mother. I would rather give one to my Host Mom! :)

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0

]]>