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Your Host Parent approach

Vacationing at DisneyWorld with your Au Pair in Tow: What’s worked for you?

by cv harquail March 5, 2012

I have a confession to make. My kids are 11 and 13, and I have never taken them to DisneyWhere. I probably never will. I know, it doesn’t count that I *have* taken them to see WIcked on Broadway– I’m still a bad mom. Worse, I don’t know much about the excitements and demands of [...]

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Should You Wake Your Au Pair When You Leave For Work REALLY Early?

by cv harquail February 19, 2012

Hi AuPairMom, We are welcoming our first au pair in about 3 weeks, and we are very excited. Your blog really helped us decide that this was the right type of child care for our family. We need someone with scheduling flexibility, because we have an always-changing, somewhat odd work week. I have to leave [...]

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When Host Parents Divorce, should Au Pairs testify?

by cv harquail February 2, 2012

Divorces test all relationships within a family. As the primary/initial family relationship dissolves or is destroyed, all other relationships get implicated. Even the relationships with Au Pairs. Previously, when we’ve discussed how divorces affect au pairs, we’ve mentioned things like crazy schedules, divided loyalties, concerns about finances and stability, and even whether one parent can [...]

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Thriving despite conflicts: 9 Rules of Negotiating with Your Au Pair

by cv harquail January 29, 2012

One of the crazy benefits of being an au pair mom or dad is that host parenting gives us many chances to practice skills that make us better everywhere in our lives. Chief among the skills we get to practice is how to negotiate. By using conflicts with our au pairs (or even simple disagreements [...]

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Would you ask your Au Pair to help out at someone else’s party?

by cv harquail January 22, 2012

Do you think it’s appropriate to ask an au pair to got to your kids’ school and help out at a birthday event there, for someone else’s kids? Here’s the email that prompts the question: Dear AuPairMom – I am mostly satisfied with the family I am working for. We’ve had a few problems but [...]

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Be a Wiser Host Parent in 2012: A Dozen Questions for Reflection

by cv harquail December 30, 2011

What has happened in the last year that’s helped you learn to be a better host parent? Or if not “better”,  just a wee bit wiser? if you’re like most of us, you’ve felt delighted, relieved, frustrated, annoyed, grateful, and more — all because of your relationship(s) with your au pair(s). As part of our [...]

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How has being an au pair Host Parent changed you?

by cv harquail December 15, 2011

Last week I met a woman who’s editing two books on parenting. She was intrigued by the AuPairMom community and the kinds of conversations we have here, and she peppered me with questions. One of the questions she asked was a tough one– I could answer it for myself, certainly, but I was unable to [...]

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Holiday Gift Idea: The Gratitude Jar

by cv harquail December 14, 2011

Another favorite, handmade memory gift is a Gratitude Jar. A Gratitude Jar is just a decorated jar, with slips of paper and a pen attached. Parents, au pairs and kids can use the jar to remind them to write down funny or sweet things that happen, and then put the slip in the jar, to [...]

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Please Turn Down the TV — Reasonable or Rude?

by cv harquail December 6, 2011

We host parents often find ourselves wishing that our au pairs could just *tell us* when something is bothering them. We can only address things we know about– and if something is wrong and you keep quiet about it, the problem keeps simmering. This is true with bigger issues (too much texting) and smallish issues [...]

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Extablishing Expectations when an Au Pair Has Guests

by cv harquail November 30, 2011

There’s something about hosting a friend of relative of your au pair that can mess with the fine balance between “part of the family”&  “childcare provider” and between “host mom” and “house elf/slave”. For lots of us, we forget to check our assumptions about how we should act towards other people’s guests, how much of [...]

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