Your Host Parent approach

Life Lessons in Cultural Exchange – Soft Benefits by TexasHM

by Texas HM August 25, 2018
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There are often discussions of the additional soft costs of hosting – some of which are “harder” and can be quantified like car insurance, little higher water/food bills or an additional Disney ticket but some of which can’t like the emotional investment/bonds made or time spent investing in your APs experience by providing a shoulder to […]

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Au Pair Vacation Requests: Too Much, Too Soon

by cv harquail April 17, 2018
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Hey, I get it. A big part of the appeal of an Au Pair year in the USA is the chance to travel around and see the place. It’s part of the cultural exchange, and a big part of the adventure. But, vacationing shouldn’t be the #1 priority of the Au Pair. When it seems […]

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Our Au Pair Generously Let Her Boyfriend Drive Our Car — Now what?

by cv harquail July 19, 2017
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Generosity in a host parent – au pair relationship is critical. Our inclination to give, to forgive, to cut someone else a break, is what creates important flexibility in a relationship.  That’s why we say strong relationships always have a little ‘give’. One of the biggest questions for Host Parents and Au Pairs alike is how […]

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How to Help Your Au Pair Appreciate the “Au Pair Car”

by cv harquail January 20, 2017
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We all want to be generous, and we all want to be appreciated. And, there’s nothing like having a third car for your au pair to use to make you aware of the tension that can exist when you want to be generous and want to be appreciated. When we bought our first Volvo wagon […]

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Your Home is Not an Airbnb – Say no to too many Au Pair guests

by cv harquail September 14, 2016
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Oh good lord, this Host Mom’s got a problem — Her au pair wants to have six people — Six people — SIX PEOPLE — come to visit and stay in the Host Family’s home.  For TWO WEEKS. The answer is obviously, “No, that’s simply not possible”. The Host Mom doesn’t even have to go […]

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“Matching With” Versus “Selecting” an Au Pair: What’s your perspective?

by cv harquail August 12, 2016
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Writing about the AuPair interviewing process, I’m getting a little philosophical. I just wrote this section (below) about the difference between “selecting” and “Matching with” an Au Pair.  Am I crazy? Do you make these sorts of distinctions? Is this how you frame the process yourself? What am I missing?  I’d love your ideas. “Matching […]

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Should I Tell the Other Host Family Their Au Pair Is Leaving Early? (Poll)

by cv harquail July 7, 2016
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Dear AuPairMom —  My au pair’s good friend here is an au pair as well. According to my AP, the friend is scheduled to work for her host family for a year but will be leaving a few weeks early. The problem? The Au Pair hasn’t told her Host Family that she’s leaving, even though […]

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Chatting With Other Host Moms…In Real Life

by Frances Scher June 28, 2016
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Frances Scher here again… I’ve been brainstorming this idea lately, and want to get some feedback. When we first started out hosting au pairs, my husband and I expected to meet a lot of other host families. Then we would know someone who had been down this road before and would be able to give firsthand […]

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How Can We Develop a Connection with our Socially Detached Au Pair?

by cv harquail June 4, 2016
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The Goldilocks Conundrum Your connection with your Au Pair is too heavy, or it’s non-existant. Your Au Pair is either a homebody, sticking close to the house demonstrating little interest in the world around her/him. Or, your Au Pair is always gone — whether physically or socially. S/he  does the job, and then disappears. We […]

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Write Your Departing Au Pair A Decent Letter of Reference

by cv harquail April 5, 2016
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…as long as she wasn’t unsafe, devious, or truly dreadful. A Host Parent Letter of Reference Makes a Difference Whether it’s for an au pair extending with another family, rematching due to poor fit with you, or applying for a job, school program or other opportunity, a letter of reference helps your au pair document […]

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