House & home

New Au Pair Has Already Invited Her Mom to Visit. For Two Weeks. In Our House.

by cv harquail October 22, 2017
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The situation below features an Au Pair who’s been quite presumptuous– inviting her mom to stay WITHOUT asking her Host Parents. I can’t even figure out how to set this post up nicely because this situation would have me fuming. As much as I want to be generous, and welcoming, I’ve found that having other […]

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Her Au Pair Takes Too Many Showers: Is this really the problem?

by cv harquail June 1, 2017
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Too many showers?  That’s so much better than the alternative. Really, who wants to tell their au pair that they need to wash more often? But we know, it’s these seemingly small things that can (1) be annoying and (2) tip us off to some deeper issues that should be addressed.   SoggyHostMom’s problem? “How […]

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Your Au Pair’s Bedroom: What to provide to make your Au Pair comfortable and welcome

by cv harquail October 11, 2016

Picture yourself in this room.  Imagine that you’ve just spent 8 hours with energetic kids, talking in your second language, driving on unfamiliar streets on the wrong side of the road. Wouldn’t it be lovely if you could walk upstairs, open the door, and step into a room like this?   It doesn’t have to […]

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Au Pair Getting High In Our Home

by cv harquail October 9, 2016
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When we know an Au Pair is doing something that contradicts our house rules, but we aren’t able to present positive proof of this, what can we do? We don’t want to be accusatory. But then again, we’re sure we’re right. We don’t need to see him or her rinsing out the bong in the […]

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Au Pair’s Room Is Also the Playroom. The Laundry Room. And the …

by cv harquail October 7, 2016
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Here’s another email that indirectly points out how important it is that US Au Pairs and Host Families have State Department Regulations that make certain conditions mandatory. This Au Pair, writing from Europe, has discovered that her Host Family family expects the Au Pair bedroom to also be the “playroom”. US Au Pair regulations require that an […]

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Your Home is Not an Airbnb – Say no to too many Au Pair guests

by cv harquail September 14, 2016
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Oh good lord, this Host Mom’s got a problem — Her au pair wants to have six people — Six people — SIX PEOPLE — come to visit and stay in the Host Family’s home.  For TWO WEEKS. The answer is obviously, “No, that’s simply not possible”. The Host Mom doesn’t even have to go […]

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How Many is Too Many Household Accidents Before Rematching an Au Pair?

by cv harquail July 30, 2016
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I’d say however many it took to get you to write this email, SafetyConsciousHostMom. Any email that asks “how many kitchen fires are too many?” gets my automatic reply “Rematch Now”. We are a family with an 18 year old bro pair who’s been so-so. He’s not super great with the kids or the chores, but […]

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When Your Au Pair Eats “Too Much”

by cv harquail October 2, 2015
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When you sign up for an Au Pair, you imagine your grocery bills to get about 20% larger. What’s incremental — beyond what you’re already buying — is another adult size portion of the main foods — another 8 oz of meat for each entree, 7 more bowls of cereal, another 3/4 of a gallon […]

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When Your Au Pair Repeatedly Loses Things

by cv harquail January 23, 2015
glenn euloth lost nemo

I’m known for losing things. Sunglasses, cell phone, car keys, arguments, emergency chocolate, the Costco card… . I try hard to hold on to things, but the absent-minded part of being a professor is really strong with this one. My own sensitivity to losing things has led me to compensate for potential losses in two […]

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Reimbursing Your Au Pair: Petty Cash Jars or Slush Funds?

by cv harquail January 16, 2015
au pair advice, petty cash

How does your family manage paying for small things, like pizzas, movie tickets, or another gallon of milk? Petty Cash Jars I’m a big fan of the petty cash jar (or in our case, a zippered pencil case /envelope in the kitchen drawer).   I keep about $20 in the envelope– usually in $1s and […]

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