Atypical Parent Situations

Can Foster Parents Host Au Pairs?

by cv harquail December 31, 2016

Over the transom comes a very rare email — one with a question we’ve never addressed before! Good way to start things up again, methinks. A Foster Mom writes: I was recently told by an agency that they are unable to work with our family because we are foster parents. We feel discriminated against. Is […]

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Managing Your Au Pair When Someone in the Family is Sick

by cv harquail May 7, 2015

from ShouldBeWorking: Background: Anorexic teen daughter is in hospital. This is a relief, actually. We had some very bad weeks and now she is getting good care and nutrition. I have been beyond exhausted, anxious and miserable trying to re-feed her and seeing things just fall apart. While she is inpatient I’m trying to rest […]

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Can an Au Pair Help An Anorexic Host Mom? Should She Try?

by cv harquail April 21, 2015

When an au pair notices that the host mom is having some kind of personal problem, should the au pair try to talk with the host mom about it? When I think about this question in the abstract, my answer is “Of course! If the au pair cares about the host mm as a person, […]

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Selling Our House: How do we show the Au Pair Room to Buyers?

by cv harquail April 14, 2015

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(Part of a series on Moving With Your Au Pair) When your family is selling your house, everyone has to pitch in to make the sale as easy as possible. This means – being on their best ‘pick up after yourself’ behavior, – being ready to dash out and stay out at a moment’s notice, […]

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Extreme Scheduling: Is it fair to an Au Pair?

by cv harquail June 27, 2014

Extreme Scheduling: When you use all your 45 ‘on duty’ hours in one fell swoop People actually do this. I’ve heard from au pairs who are scheduled for three days in a row when no parents are otherwise present, even at ‘off duty’ times (such as when a mom is a pilot and works in 3 […]

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Blended Family Challenge: Half-Time Custody but Full Time Au Pair?

by cv harquail March 20, 2014

My partner and I have three daughters between us and are looking into the AuPair Educare program. All three of are girls are in school full time and we would essentially only need before and after care. The question is: We have our daughters every other week. We attempt to have all three of them […]

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The “Fire Or Blood” Rule for Au Pairs With Work-At-Home Parents

by cv harquail January 20, 2014

I saw this photo on Twitter today and it cracked me up. It reminded me of my own (vain? valiant?) attempts to teach my au pairs and now my tweenagers when it is and isn’t okay to interrupt me in my home office. (Remember this photo?) These days, I’ve shifted to a […]

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When a Host Parent Is Diagnosed With Asbergers, How Does This Reshape The Au Pair Relationship?

by cv harquail October 13, 2013

We’ve had some wonderfully honest, thoughtful and insightful conversations here on Au Pair Mom about how to manage relationship dynamics with Au Pairs who have emotional challenges or histories, and children who have cognitive or developmental ‘special needs’ — chronic cognitive or relational challenges that families need to support. But we haven’t even talked about […]

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Violence In The Host Family Home: What Should An Au Pair Do?

by cv harquail February 18, 2013

Because Au Pairs live with families, inside their homes and inside their family lives, Au Pairs often see things that outsiders do not. Au Pairs see not just messy kitchens or heaps of laundry. Sometimes they also see emotional and physical abuse among host family members. Violence in the Home I don’t like to call […]

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Should You Wake Your Au Pair When You Leave For Work REALLY Early?

by cv harquail February 19, 2012

Hi AuPairMom, We are welcoming our first au pair in about 3 weeks, and we are very excited. Your blog really helped us decide that this was the right type of child care for our family. We need someone with scheduling flexibility, because we have an always-changing, somewhat odd work week. I have to leave […]

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