Host Family dynamics

When a Host Child Has New, Psychological Challenges

by cv harquail April 29, 2017

Every host parent of a child with special needs or unique needs knows to look for an au pair who’s ready to handle these sorts of challenges. But, life being what it is, these challenges can show up *after* you’ve matched, and while the au pair is happily placed in your home. Many au pairs […]

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Can Foster Parents Host Au Pairs?

by cv harquail December 31, 2016

Over the transom comes a very rare email — one with a question we’ve never addressed before! Good way to start things up again, methinks. A Foster Mom writes: I was recently told by an agency that they are unable to work with our family because we are foster parents. We feel discriminated against. Is […]

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How Do You & Your Partner Coordinate When You’re Interviewing An Au Pair?

by cv harquail September 21, 2016

Host Parents who have partners have lots of choices about when — and even whether — to involve both parents in the Au Pair Interviewing process. I’d love to know, among our readers, what the most common patterns are of getting each other involved. Obviously, if you have a spouse or a parenting […]

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Chatting With Other Host Moms…In Real Life

by Frances Scher June 28, 2016

Frances Scher here again… I’ve been brainstorming this idea lately, and want to get some feedback. When we first started out hosting au pairs, my husband and I expected to meet a lot of other host families. Then we would know someone who had been down this road before and would be able to give firsthand […]

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Helping an Au Pair Whose Host Dad Is Acting Inappropriately

by cv harquail June 26, 2016

(Reposting from its previous place in another thread:) Writes Host Mom X, I need some urgent advice on an uncomfortable situation, with a new au pair and her Host Dad: One of our au pair’s besties recently ended her year, and our au pair has taken that host family’s new au pair under her wing. […]

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What Kinds of Relationships Do Au Pairs Want With Host Parents?

by cv harquail May 1, 2016

There are many different types of equally good relationships that we host parents can have with our au pairs. Good host parent- au pair relationships can vary by — their level of intimacy (e.g., seriously close or pleasantly distant), — the amount of time we spend together (e.g., every waking moment or “I’m off duty, see you tomorrow, […]

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Interviewing Rematch Au Pairs? Check Their References

by cv harquail March 7, 2016

The Rematch / Transition Process makes everyone tense. Au Pairs want to find a better situation but worry that host families will assume that rematch was their fault. Host Families want to find an in-country au pair who’ll fit better with their family, but want to avoid taking on some other family’s “reject”. Agencies […]

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Innocent Au Pair Shunned By Jealous Host Mom

by cv harquail March 5, 2016

Sorry about the headline, but how else to summarize this dilemma, below? Before you jump in with good advice, which you will, let’s remember that we only know one side of this story, and we should proceed with the assumption that it’s accurate. Take it away, team. Dear AuPairMom– Well, I’m a 23 year old […]

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Creating an Au Pair – Host Parent Partnership that Doesn’t Exclude the Other Host Parent

by cv harquail February 12, 2016

In some families, parents aim to share childcare and home management equally. In other families, there is one parent (of the two, three or four) who serves as the “lead parent”. The Lead Parent is the one who runs the forgotten lunch over to school, stays home when a kid is sick, and manages the family’s childcare. […]

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Partnership Advice for Au Pair Host Parents

by cv harquail February 4, 2016

After our previous post, I went back to an old, old post to clip and repeat these key bits of advice for Host Parent Partners: Host Parent Partners need to confirm, explicitly, how they will work as partners as well as individuals to manage their Au Pair relationship. Nothing about how having an au pair (or […]

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