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Host Child(ren) Relationships

Au Pair Asks: What if I’m not really prepared to handle these kids?

by cv harquail February 20, 2012

Dear Au Pair Mom, I really love to read your blog, and have been reading it for a few months now, back when I started on my quest to become an Au Pair. And now for the first time I’m writing to you for advice. I have just moved to my host family and have [...]

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Revealing Your “Special Needs” During the Matching Process

by cv harquail February 17, 2012

When is the best time to discuss with a prospective au pair candidate that a host child has special needs? When your child has special needs, you need to be sure in advance that your au pair is up for the challenge. Many au pair candidates will indicate on their applications that they are open [...]

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How to Help Your Au Pair Connect With Your Kids

by cv harquail July 9, 2011

How do you want your au pair to interact with your children? We spend a lot of time in our handbooks and meeting going over the house rules and general family principles, but often we leave implicit our our expectations for day-to-day kid – au pair interaction. Sure, we want each au pair-kid combo to [...]

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How Much Can an Au Pair Improve Sibling Dynamics?

by cv harquail June 28, 2011

Each host family is its own self-reinforcing social system. Families have their own logic, their own climate, their own emotional rules, values, priorities, and patterns of behavior. Although the new person in the family/home means that everyone adjusts, au pairs adjust more to the family than the family adjusts to the au pair. Family systems [...]

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Unbearable Fighting Between Siblings: Fair cause for rematch? (Bettina)

by cv harquail June 28, 2011

Here’s Bettina’s story about her host kids… click back to the original post to discuss whether, if, and how an au pair can make a positive difference in host family dynamics. I’m an au pair in the US for 2 weeks now, and I really like it here. When I arrived, I immediately felt comfortable [...]

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What if you Au Pair thinks your child might need professional help?

by cv harquail June 17, 2011

Our au pairs get an up-close and personal view of our families. Sometimes they see things we don’t see, maybe even things we don’t want to see for ourselves. Because au pairs interact with our children when we parents are often not around, and they spend longs days with our kids, they may notice things [...]

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Angry 11 yr old, Avoidant Parents- what’s an au pair to do?

by cv harquail March 27, 2011

Dear AuPairMom — Hi, I was using google to look for some advice when I came across your website. I’m an au pair and I’ve been living in the US for 3 months now and at the minute, my 9 months remaining just feels like the longest time. I look after 2 kids and I’m [...]

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Arguments between my child and my Au Pair are driving me nuts!

by cv harquail March 5, 2011

Dear Au Pair Mom readers– Our au pair has been with us for 1 1/2 months. She’s 19, Italian, and speaks excellent English. She cares for our daughter while I work part-time the house, part-time out. The problem is that our daughter, who is about to turn 4, is having a hard time with this [...]

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Improving the Relationship between your Au Pair and Your Kids

by cv harquail February 17, 2011

A request from VtMom — Dear Au Pair Mom readers –I have a minor issue that’s been bothering me and wanted to solicit the collective wisdom of the group. Compared to other posts on this blog, I have nothing to complain about. Instead, my issue surrounds something that’s “nice to have.” Background: We have three [...]

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Candid, awkward issue: Choosing Au Pairs who are obese

by cv harquail January 26, 2011

AuPairMom is a place where we host parents (and au pairs) can talk about issues that only other host parents and au pairs can understand. Often, these issues are tough ones that touch upon cultural differences, style differences, political differences, and deep personal preferences. Every now and then, we get a topic that we want [...]

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