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Guidelines & rules

In Loco Parentis? Your Parental Responsibilities when your AP’s behavior challenges your values

by cv harquail June 1, 2010

As Host Parents, we have an odd role in our Au Pair’s lives. We are responsible for keeping them safe, housed, fed, and supported in their work with our children. And we also often play a role that I call Pseudo In Loco Parentis. Pseudo In Loco Parentis Like the fancy Latin? Years ago, women’s [...]

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What can an Au Pair expect from a Host Family?

by cv harquail May 3, 2010

In the mirror post to this one, we’re generating a list of ways that families interpret and execute the rules, but with the effect of having the au pair feel mistreated. Here on this page is our chance to list what an au pair can expect from a family when both the family and the [...]

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Locking the Refrigerator, and other ways to mistreat an Au Pair

by cv harquail May 3, 2010

Riffing on the post Do Au Pairs need a bill of rights? about Au Pairs and a domestic workers bill of rights, Dawn mentioned that A clear listing as to what kind of treatment is reasonable to expect would be very helpful in such circumstances. As one example, in a program where the AP expects [...]

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Do Au Pairs need a ‘bill of rights’?

by cv harquail April 30, 2010

A reader sent me a link to an article in Slate, about a proposed ‘Bill of Rights” for domestic workers in New York State. (You can read the article in detail, here.) The proposed legislation would guarantee New York’s 200,000 domestic workers sick days, overtime, a day of rest, protection under discrimination laws, and notice [...]

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Au Pair Advice: New App to Manage Texting While Driving

by cv harquail April 14, 2010

Local mom and blogger Kristen Kemp wrote a post so important that I’m borrowing heavily from it to share with you all. It’s all about: Parental Control Feature to Stop Texting While Driving If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that most host parents are preeetttyyy concerned about safe driving. Talking [...]

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Help Your Au Pair Evaluate Potential Playdates

by cv harquail April 8, 2010

I firmly believe that working on your au pair relationship makes you a better parent, directly and indirectly. Any time you have to stop and reflect on your parenting principles and your priorities for your kid(s), you have the opportunity to become more mindful about what you’re up to with your family. Here’s one of [...]

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Au Pair Management Tip: Schedule Transition Time

by cv harquail March 29, 2010

Here is a tip for both host parent and au pairs alike: Schedule transition time, with explicit overlap between when the au pair and the parent (or other caregiver) switch who’s ‘on duty’. Back when I worked as a manufacturing manager I always had to be there for “shift overlap”, when the outgoing shift would [...]

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Au Pair Advice: Getting enough sleep & being noisy late at night

by cv harquail March 14, 2010

If there is anything about having an au pair — or anyone, really — in the bedroom on the third floor that bothers my DH, it’s noise after 10:30 pm. He is a fussy sleeper, and it drives him nuts to be able to hear a tv, or a phone conversation, while he’s trying to [...]

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Awkward: It’s not a walk of shame if we know you are safe

by cv harquail March 8, 2010

So let’s jump on in to another awkward topic — If your au pair is having fun, safe overnights, and she just wants to make sure you’re not worried, how should she tell you? Should she even tell you? I don’t actually want to know if my au pair is having fun. I do want [...]

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6 Reasons why your Au Pair should NOT work a second job

by cv harquail March 6, 2010

We’ve talked recently about the issues related to having an au pair work extra hours for the host family, and we’ve also talked about whether you should let your au pair babysit for your friends. But we haven”t talked about whether you should permit your au pair to work at another job. “Why haven’t we [...]

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