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systems

Tip: Know When to Blame the System (part 1)

by cv harquail August 17, 2011

Tonight I couldn’t sleep (feeling anxious about not posting on APM!) and so I tried to sneak downstairs so I could read the September issue of Vogue until I felt sleepy. Alas, no matter how softly I pressed my toes to the stairs, they groaned. They squeaked. They made so much noise that I could [...]

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Au Pair Pocket Money: Do you pay more than the required stipend? (Poll)

by cv harquail February 15, 2011

[This post addresses customs and Au Pair regulations in the USA. It may or may not be relevant to host parents in other countries.] The amount of weekly pocket money (or stipend) that a host family is required to provide to an au pair is set by the Federal Government. Right now (as of Feb [...]

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Host Parent Tip: Pay Your Au Pair On Time

by cv harquail February 13, 2011

“Doing something” and “not doing something” do not always have opposite effects. When something that is supposed to be done is done correctly and in a timely way, no one even notices. When the very same thing isn’t done, or is done incorrectly, it shakes the very foundations of a relationship. Case in point: paying [...]

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5 Tips to Help Your Au Pair Prepare Healthy Meals for Kids

by cv harquail September 29, 2010

Sometimes, I get really envious of host families whose au pairs know how to cook. I mean really know how to cook– au pairs who will suggest meals, create something new out of a chicken breast, and clip a recipe from People Magazine. We have never had an au pair who is an accomplished cook, [...]

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Share with your Au Pair your system for ‘disciplining’ your kids

by cv harquail August 10, 2010

Usually I shy away from offering or requesting parenting advice on this blog… I know what has worked for my family and I also know that every family’s systems have to fit within its own values, norms and culture. So, when it comes to questions of “how should my Au Pair discipline my kids” I [...]

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Read My Diary, please! : Guest Post

by Sherina June 23, 2010

A Host Mom was prompted by an earlier conversation on coordinating family schedules to offer her thoughts on keeping it all together. What I call a family notebook or family log she calls a diary– but regardless of the name, it is the same thing: One, single, solitary, concrete place where every appointment goes. Here’s [...]

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Is Your Host Family Handbook Too Long?

by cv harquail June 21, 2010

Eleven Au Pairs and 12 revisions after first being written, our Host Family Handbook is now, officially, “long”. Excluding examples of kids’ and au pairs’ schedules, and excluding the basic information about emergency phone numbers and the like, our rules/guidelines section runs 16 pages, with almost 4500 words. Is that too long? Host Family Handbook: [...]

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Your Au Pair is not a Maid

by cv harquail June 17, 2010

What’s the difference between an au pair and a maid? In some host families, not very much. Some host families expect their au pairs to do basic housework in addition to caring for children. In the US, “housekeeping”is limited to cleaning up the kids rooms (but in my mind, not vacuuming them), keeping the play [...]

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Tip: Insist on the Second-To-Last bus

by cv harquail June 16, 2010

One of our guidelines is: “Take the second to last bus or train home. Never count on being able to get the very last bus. Always make sure you have a backup.” You might look at that and think we are controlling– but underneath that guideline (like so many others) is a real story of [...]

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Au Pair Asks: How can I get my Host Mom to give me a schedule?

by cv harquail May 23, 2010

Dear Au Pair Mom, I just find out this site, and I think it’s really helpful. You have a lot of useful information for all of us, and I would like some advice from host parents. I’m an Au Pair, and I just started the program. I’m here for two months and everything is incredible! [...]

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