For Au Pairs

Too much connection, then too little: Rematch Again, Au Pair Asks?

by cv harquail November 20, 2017
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Dear AuPairMom, I am an Au Pair in the U.S and in my 3rd month right know. About 2 weeks ago I came from one state to a new one through rematch. My first situation wasn’t horrible. I just had a hard time connecting with the kids (7, 9, 12) and the host mom openly […]

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Give As Much As You’ve Gotten Before You Quit Your Au Pair Job

by cv harquail March 1, 2016
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At the mom@aupairmom.com mailbox, I regularly receive emails from Au Pairs who are unhappy and want to leave their positions. Au Pairs present a slate of concerns, each one legitimate in its own right, although some of them are too small, really, to be dealbreakers on their own. These emails usually roam all over the […]

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What Makes an Au Pair a “Rock Star”?

by cv harquail February 25, 2016

… asks a Host Mom who thinks hopes she has one. I think I’ve always assumed that, like quality and pr0n, “you know it when you see it” if you’ve got a Rock Star Au Pair. And, I’ve probably also assumed that what makes some one a Rock Star Au Pair really depends on what […]

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My Host Mom Hits Her Child — what should Au Pair Do?

by cv harquail October 19, 2015
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Au Pairs are very aware that they are expected to follow the parenting philosophy of their host parents. Au Pairs have to ‘get over’ cultural differences and differences in family tradition that suggest a particular way to handle a situation. Usually, Au Pairs draw on their own cultures’ and families’ parenting practices when they find […]

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Au Pairs, How Did Your AP Year Improve Your Job Prospects?

by cv harquail July 9, 2015
great au pair, perfect au pair

Inquiring moms and dads want to know– How did your Au Pair year help you find a job when you got back to your home country? How did what you learned and experienced as an Au Pair influence your outlook about what was possible for you? We Host Parents would love to believe that being an […]

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Can an Au Pair Help An Anorexic Host Mom? Should She Try?

by cv harquail April 21, 2015
au pair problems, host mom

When an au pair notices that the host mom is having some kind of personal problem, should the au pair try to talk with the host mom about it? When I think about this question in the abstract, my answer is “Of course! If the au pair cares about the host mm as a person, […]

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Unhappy Au Pairs Can Start “Reset” Conversations Too

by cv harquail March 13, 2015
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You don’t have to be a host parent to notice a problem in your Host Family-Au Pair relationship. Obviously, Au Pairs notice problems too. That’s why Au Pairs should try some using some of the very same tools we recommend to host parents, tools like weekly meetings, written schedules, and the always-useful reset conversation. One […]

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Au Pair Declines to Extend, Now Her Host Parents Are Mean

by cv harquail March 6, 2015
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When you have an Au Pair you like, the idea of extending for another 6, 9, or 12 months seems so tempting! We can imagine ourselves just gliding into that extra time, relieved of the burden of finding, training, and adapting to a new au pair. So when we ask our Au Pairs to extend— […]

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How Should Au Pair Candidates Choose An Au Pair Agency?

by cv harquail December 8, 2014
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Here’s something we’ve never talked about: How Should Au Pairs who want to come to the USA choose the agencies to represent them?   (note: let’s only do US Agencies in this post– I’ll do another one for ‘international’ agencies) We Host Parents know that there are a few differences in Au Pair Agencies that […]

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My Host Family’s House is Smelly. What should I do?

by cv harquail September 10, 2014
good air

Everyone’s house has a smell. Sometimes it’s “dog”, sometimes it’s “curry” and sometimes it’s just “ick”. We don’t usually notice the everyday smell of our own home because we’re accustomed to it. But when our au pairs walk in for the first time, they notice because the smell is new to them. Over time, they […]

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