First time Host Parent

Finding an Infant Qualified Au Pair Who Can Manage Twins

by cv harquail July 5, 2017
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NowWeAreThree HostMom thought she had the whole family ready for twins, with her mom coming to stay for an entire year to help with childcare (what a mom!).  Sadly, her father got unexpectedly sick, so her mom can no longer come. This mom’s got to find a new childcare plan. What questions would you ask, and what […]

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Help A Brand-New Au Pair Get Better At Her Job

by cv harquail June 24, 2017
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It’s not easy to settle in, whether you’re the new Au Pair or the First Time Host Mom. The American college student who sent this email hasn’t had the benefit of a formal Au Pair orientation, and I suspect that her host mom hasn’t had the benefit of a local counselor or group of moms […]

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First Time Host Mom Wonders: Are her Au Pair expectations realistic?

by cv harquail November 7, 2016
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A new Host Mom writes to share her frustration – and concern- about an Au Pair who doesn’t quite seem to fit. Are the mom’s expectations too high, she wonders? Or, Does she just have an Au Pair who needs (even) more direction and motivation? I’d like to think that I asked all the right […]

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Alas, One Au Pair Can’t Cover Your “40 Hour” Work Week

by cv harquail September 5, 2016
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It’s a horrible reality:  Even if you have your au pair work a full 45 hours a week, if you work 40 hours a week yourself, your au pair is not going to be able to cover all your childcare needs. Every one of us full time working parents knows– that job is supposedly “40 […]

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Brand New Au Pair’s Extreme Homesickness — Can we turn it around?

by cv harquail August 16, 2016
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It seems like this brand new host mom did everything right (or, rather, took all of our recommendations) for getting started with an Au Pair. Careful consideration, lots of advance learning, deep interviewing, a handbook (!), and lots of positive energy. Even after their new Au Pair arrived and presented the challenge of extreme homesick, […]

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Chatting With Other Host Moms…In Real Life

by Frances Scher June 28, 2016
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Frances Scher here again… I’ve been brainstorming this idea lately, and want to get some feedback. When we first started out hosting au pairs, my husband and I expected to meet a lot of other host families. Then we would know someone who had been down this road before and would be able to give firsthand […]

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Newbie Host Mom Totally Not Sure She Needs Help (She Does)

by Frances Scher June 22, 2016
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  Hi! I am Frances Scher, and I am taking a turn at the APMom mailbox.  First up is a letter from a new host mom. Her previous expectations of the au pair program don’t seem to be lining up with the current reality. The au pair is not doing her job and following the […]

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How Can We Develop a Connection with our Socially Detached Au Pair?

by cv harquail June 4, 2016
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The Goldilocks Conundrum Your connection with your Au Pair is too heavy, or it’s non-existant. Your Au Pair is either a homebody, sticking close to the house demonstrating little interest in the world around her/him. Or, your Au Pair is always gone — whether physically or socially. S/he  does the job, and then disappears. We […]

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How Soon To Schedule Au Pair’s First Day Off?

by cv harquail April 24, 2016
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Venturing into the grey areas of Au Pair regulations and scheduling, a First Time Host Mom asks– how many days might a brand new au pair work before she must be given a day off?   (I phrased it differently in the headline of this post, but essentially it’s the same question).  She’s thinking about […]

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Au Pair’s Increasingly Limited Diet is Increasingly Stressing Us

by cv harquail April 12, 2016
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Everyone say it together: Rematch. Now. New Host Mom, this au pair is putting  you through the wringer over food issues. You should try one more time to set some limits about what food you will and will not provide.  You were clear when you were matching, and it’s your au pair who’s changed the […]

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