From the category archives:

Emotions

When your Au Pair confides in you … about something awful

by cv harquail June 11, 2010

This is a heavy topic for a Friday. Apologies in advance. I’ve mentioned before that I believe that there are just as many young people who become au pairs to escape something as there are those who become au pairs to find something. Au Pairs who are escaping are fleeing from acute personal disappointments, painful [...]

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When you need some time alone … with your kids, without the Au Pair

by cv harquail May 17, 2010

‘SotaGal commented last week about, sometimes, she just wants to be with her kids, alone. “Mommy-a-mano”, no DH, no DP, no AP. Just Mom & the kids. There is nothing wrong with that. We all want 1 on 1/2/3 time, time when we are the only adult in the room, the only adult in the [...]

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Recent Widower / Single Host Dad: How to find the right au pair?

by cv harquail April 21, 2010

Readers, Here’s a specific question about choosing the right au pair for a family that has lost their mom through tragedy. We had one host dad comment on our earlier post about single parents, and I know that there are at least two other host dad-readers who have lost their wives and who have hired [...]

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A Good Au Pair Relationship Requires Your Emotional Investment

by cv harquail April 2, 2010

Regardless of the type of childcare your family chooses for your kid(s), there is always some work involved in maintaining your relationship with the actual caregivers. With a daycare center, you need to communicate with the staff members and with the administrators on things ranging from schedules to toilet-training strategies. With your mother, mother-in-law or [...]

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When Troubles Back Home Cause Distress

by cv harquail March 30, 2010

A large number of au pairs, perhaps even a majority, become au pairs in the US as a way to escape something at home. They may be escaping a bleak economic outlook, a scarcity of jobs post-high school, intense political strife, or an unsafe environment. Many au pairs are escaping bad family situations, including their [...]

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Au Pair Advice: She’s using *my* coffee mug!

by cv harquail March 17, 2010

We host parents can be a weird bunch. The kinds of things that drive us crazy… no wonder it can be hard for au pairs to get adjusted! Over the weekend I heard a crazy lament that I want to share with you. My friend has a new au pair, who’s been with them about [...]

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Someone Stole My Au Pair: A secret rematch behind my back

by cv harquail March 12, 2010

A Host Mom writes with a story that will irk us all.  The situation is ‘over’, but she still has to cope. And, we can all wonder– how could we prevent something like this from happening in our town? Dear Au Pair Mom Readers- Has anyone else had the experience of discovering that their au [...]

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Sad Host Mom: How to break the bad news about her visa

by cv harquail February 20, 2010

Parents, we got this email from an active commenter, who doesn’t really have a “problem” we can fix — but she does need us a little bit. Can you share any wisdom that might make this hard situation a little easier for her and her Au Pair? We love our au pair. She came to [...]

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Our Au Pair is not the cheerful girl we expected. Now what?

by cv harquail February 15, 2010

We’re 1 month into our first au pair and not sure if it’s going to be ok or not. Just to clarify we’re based outside the US so our au pair has not come to us through an agency, in fact she is American. We have 3 kids, all under 6 and there is no [...]

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Au Pair Abruptly Quits, then wants to come back to see kids. Really? (poll)

by cv harquail January 28, 2010

Here’s a painful situation, about which this host mom could use some good advice. I’m sure that this kind of situation has happened to other families who’ve gone into rematch [Something similar happened to us with our flame-out au pair, and so reading this mom's email got me all mad all over again. What went [...]

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