All local Community Counselors are trained in the fundamental, general issues that are relevant to each and every au pair – host parent relationship. Community Counselors (CCs) must know the US State Department au pair regulations, the contract details of the agency they represent, and the au pair contact, support & rematch practices of their agency. Many CCs are trained in issues like helping with culture shock and recognizing eating disorders. Also, most are trained in the foundations of mediating conflicts between host families and au pairs.

In addition to these universal areas of expertise, each local au pair counselor should become an expert resource in two local issues:

1. Fulfilling the Education Requirement in your community
2. Getting the Driver’s License that’s necessary to meet your state’s requirements

The truly great local CC arrives at the host parents’ house bearing two gifts of expertise, (1) his or her own wisdom and (2) accurate, timely, printed materials.

1. Fulfilling the Education Requirement in Your Community

Your CC should be able to provide you with a package of information that covers “All About Fulfulling the Education Requirement in a Cost-Effective Way”. This information would include a handout comparing the local community colleges & universities, with contact information and phone numbers. It would include a list of classes that Au Pairs in the community like to take (for example, ESL classes) that also fill the requirement. This package of information might even include the latest catalog & course listing for the school that the majority of au pairs use.

2. Getting the Driver’s License that’s Necessary to Meet Your State’s Requirements

The other set of information your LCC should provide you with is “Everything You Need to Know about Driving Legally in ThisState“. This would include a handout with web page addresses to the DMV, an outline of the official requirements (and the online page where these can be referenced), and a booklet of driving rules and regulations in your state.

(One of our early CCs went to the Virginia DMV and gathered driving regulation pamphlets in several languages– not only English but also Spanish, German, French, Chinese and Portuguese. These were available free at the DMV, so she kept a stash in her car so she could give one to ever new au pair.)

Note: Questions about what your insurance company requires are up to us Host parents. Every policy has its own requirements, and we each need to be aware of what our policies cover and what they require.

Why should this be the Counselor’s job, and not the Host Parent’s (or Au Pair’s) job?

As host parents, it can be very hard for us to be up to date on either license/driving procedures or education options. When you have only one au pair at a time, the information you search for is specific to that au pair (e.g., language, interests) and to that particular year. In contrast, the local counselor is being asked all the time about driving and education, and must assist 20 or more au pairs each year. It just makes more sense for the community counselor to keep up to date on what’s necessary and what’s working. S/he should be the go-to resource for these sorts of questions.

We get a lot of questions here are AuPairMom about licence requirements and about education requirements, but we can really only tell you what has worked in our own *individual* situations, which may or may not be helpful to you.

in contrast, your local counselor should develop and maintain her or his expertise as a resource in these areas– not only does this make sure that au pairs fulfill requirements and drive legally, but also it is a HUGE help to each and every host family.

These are my personal, unofficial thoughts about how a counselor can be a resource to every host family. Are there other areas where you wish your local counselor was an expert? Please share….

Image: Reading by Ben Spark on Flickr
A Love of Reading 263:365 from The Real Estreya

Dear AuPairMoms:

I’m a first-time host-parent to a lovely 21 year old first-time Au Pair from Scandinavia (through Cultural Care), as well as a first-time mom of 19 month old twins, and I really enjoy this site.

I’m hoping your readers might have some sage advice for me. I’m starting to obsess over this issue, which is ridiculous because the last thing I have time to do it obsess about anything. But when it comes to my Au Pair, who is a bit on the lackadaisical side of life, in addition to being pretty naïve, I often feel like nothing will get done unless I dive in and take over.

So here’s the current problem: We just moved from the San Francisco Bay Area to a remote alpine resort town 3.5 hours away. When we visited the area for an extended vacation we were glad to see a small college in town, half a mile from our home, and we presumed (I know, never make any presumptions) if we moved here, that we’d simply enroll our au pair in an inexpensive Community Education class at this college. We noted that this college is chock-full of Scandinavians, making my Au Pair feel like she has died and gone to heaven.

When we decided we wanted to move here by mid-September, and contacted the college for enrollment information, we were told that all of the classes were full, cost a minimum of $600 per credit, and that they don’t even have a Community Education program! The college suggested classes that Au Pair could take in the Spring semester at their sister-school, but that school is a 45 minute drive each way, and our Au Pair doesn’t know how to drive (public transportation here exists, but that route between our home and the sister-school would take 2 hours each way).

We asked the only other Au Pair in town what she does, and she drives an hour each way 3 times per week to the closest small-city University. I also asked the area’s LCC, who told me along the lines of, “That school in your town is a pain in the neck to get into. The next closest place is over an hour drive in each direction, so if your Au Pair doesn’t drive, that’s a big problem. Maybe the Area Coordinator has a suggestion.”

I might also add that me driving Au Pair to school an hour each way, staying for her class and driving her home is not going to work because my husband is away 3 nights a week, and her classes would take place during her time off, while my babies are sleeping, so please, let’s not go there.

I spoke with our former Area Coordinator at Cultural Care, who isn’t very familiar with my new home town, but did tell me that there simply aren’t enough Au Pairs here to make it worthwhile to them to make a concession, and advised me that Au Pair could take a weekend class at one of two East Coast locations: Silver Bay YMCA 80 miles north of Albany, or CW Post, which isn’t too far out on Long Island.

Bingo!, I thought, until I looked up the course schedule, and then airline schedules. Now, because we feel somewhat guilty about the timing of our move, which was a very self-indulgent move on our part that will allow my husband and I to remain at home with our children full-time (he working from home, me a SAHM), and we really weren’t putting much thought on how it might effect Au Pair, we feel like we should pay for the weekend course and her transportation to/from.

However, after some research, I found that either option will cost us nearly $1,200. Both options are going to require our Au Pair to take a red-eye from our nearest airport plus two more hops just to get there, then manage ground transportation on her own in a strange location (for CW Post, it’s the LIRR and then a shuttle; and in the SB case, if she’s lucky, we might be able to time her flight to catch the private shuttles that have been arranged by the teachers), and upon her return, she will get stuck at a West Coast airport overnight (either LAX, San Diego, Phoenix, or Salt Lake) before flying the remainder of the trip the following morning. As an alternative, we could put her up at a hotel near the school; either way, it means we now have to add the cost of a hotel room, ground transportation and food to the aforementioned fees, not to mention the fact that we won’t have an Au Pair from Wednesday night to Tuesday morning. I haven’t even told my Au Pair all this yet, because I know it will cause her a lot of apprehension and nervousness.

The Cultural Care representative told me that they don’t have weekend courses available on the West Coast, just these two locations in the Northeast. I haven’t been able to determine if these weekend courses that she suggested are specifically run by Cultural Care and, therefore, only available for their Au Pairs that they bring in to the US. I found a weekend Au Pair course at UCLA, which would be wayyyy easier for us to manage, but it alludes that these courses are only for Au Pairs from a different agency.

Would some of your readers experienced in this issue be able to let me know if these weekend courses are “Agency Specific”, and if they are, if they have had experience enrolling their Au Pairs into weekend classes that might not be through their agency?

Our Au Pair needs to fulfill her remaining 3 credit requirement by February 3rd, and due to pre-paid travel plans, that leaves us with one weekend in early December at CW Post as our only option right now. I guess another option would be to let Au Pair lose her deposit (not sure what it is in her country, but maybe we pay her back for it?), but then she can’t extend with another family or re-apply as an Au Pair for two years, and she has already indicated that she’d like to stay (with us, at least).

What do I do? Are there any options I’ve overlooked?

TahoeTwinsMom

Hi TahoeTwinsMom -

Wow. I am really impressed by your efforts to track down all the possible options for your au pair’s education requirement. Many host moms would not have gone to such lengths on the au pair’s behalf, especially if she shows little interest in it herself. I understand that part of your reason for taking on this responsibility is that you feel responsible– your move put your au pair in a tough situation, requirement-wise. But still, many would have given up! good for you.

From what I see, you have two additional options to consider.

One option is to ask your au pair how much she really cares about extending or reapplying, and if she doesn’t care you can just ‘make her whole’ by covering the expense she’d incur by not filling this requirement.

Th e other option is to consider an online class. Doesn’t somewhere like Phoenix University or DeVry have economical online classes that she might take? Even though your au pair would not get out of the house and meet interesting people taking an online class, she might be able to fit it into her schedule easily.

I’d love to hear whether anyone has tried this strategy. And, I can’t wait to see what kinds of options other readers recommend…. Folks?

See also:

Can an Au Pair Manage Distance-Education and Au Pairing? If yes, then how?

Images:
Karyn Gartel Online Class from marthaleverDistance Education from The Degree Experts

Here’s a request for advice from Sophia, a soon-to-be-au pair:

Hi everyone!!

I’ve been writing and reading this blog for a while, and I’m more than happy to say that I have finally taken the step and I’m formally applying with AuPairCare.

I’m now filling my application, and I’ve found trouble with some point, the thing is I’m actually studying psychologies at a distance university, and I plan to continue my studies while I’m Au Pairing in the U.S, my university has an office in NYC, I don’t have to attend classes, just go there two weeks a year to take my exams, I know it wont interfere with my job, because I’m now working and taking different courses while studying on the week ends, and nor my job nor my grades are affected.

The two problems I see with this are:

1. Will HF find a problem with me being a formal student? I know the amount of time I need to dedicate to my degree, and I know for sure it won’t make a difference, but, how do I make this clear?

2. It is easier for me to live in NYC or close to it, because I have to take my exams at their office there, I don’t want to sound like a princess or a spoiled girl that wants to live in NYC because it is a big, famous city, it is just where my college is, how do I bring this up without sounding like I’m making up an excuse?

I’m really looking foward to being an Au Pair at the States, but my degree is also important to me, I wouldn’t like to take a sabatic year, and as I’ve said I’m 100% positive it won’t be a distraction.

I want to be honest, so this is something I want to appear on my application, I don’t feel like bringing it up on a former interview is appropriate, I want families to know I’m clear about it.

What is your advice about this problem? I’m confident enough to know I’d be a wonderful Au Pair (I’ve already been one in UK, and have worked with kids in the U.S.A before, I’ve just arrived from a YMCA Camp in Pennsylvania).

Thank You very much. Sofia, Spain

Hi Sophia-

It’s funny that you should bring this up, because we just had a visit from our AP#2, SD, who was enrolled in two courses in her French university while she was an au pair with us. One of my fondest memories of her time with us was me always having to tell her to move her Economics books off the dining room table herself, because they were too heavy for me to lift!

SD took both Economics and Japanese, for two semesters, and then traveled to NYC to sit for her exams. Although she didn’t tell us during the matching process that she was taking classes, it didn’t bother me. Initially, I really misunderstood how serious her courses were … I thought at first she was doing them for fun and not for credit. But SD studied regularly every day… sometimes when the baby was sleeping, and usually for 1-2 hours each day when she was off-duty. Because SD was so dedicated, and so organized, we never ever experienced a conflict.

One thing I would suggest is that you take less than a full load of classes (SD’s two courses per semester were a half-time load). I honestly don’t think that anyone can work 45 hours a week and take a full schedule of classes and still sleep enough– much less enjoy her au pair year.

Host families will be concerned whether your expectations of yourself are realistic– so think of ways you can demonstrate that you are competent as a student (e.g., mention your grades, talk about your study skills). Host families will also be concerned about what comes first – your au pair year or your studies.

Just like if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend back home, another job/school commitment can cut into your dedication to do a good job as an au pair. Again, you can talk about how you’d put the kids first, and how you’d prevent your schoolwork from interfering with your au pairing… (for example, if you have good study skills you won’t be up all night finishing an assignment and getting too tired to au pair well the next day.)

Those are my thoughts– parents and au pairs, what do you advise?

Image: Day 33- I need to study! from rachel_titiriga on Flickr

Have you ever compared the EduCare program to the the regular Au Pair program?

If you’ve chosen the EduCare, what swung you over? And, what’s your experience been with EduCare Au Pairs?

What’s the EduCare Program?

From the website of the US Department of State:

The Au Pair program includes the EduCare component.

• The EduCare component is only for families who have school-aged children and require childcare before and after school hours. Accordingly, au pairs participating in the EduCare component may not be placed with families having preschool children, unless alternative, full-time arrangements are in place for their supervision.
• The EduCare au pair may work no more than 10 hours per day, and a maximum of 30 hours per week.
• Au pairs participating in the EduCare component receive 75 percent of the weekly rate paid to au pairs.
• EduCare au pairs must complete a minimum of 12 hours of academic credit or its equivalent during the program year.
• The host family is required to provide (up to) the first $1,000 toward the cost of the au pair’s required academic course work.

EduCare Au Pairs get a weekly stipend of $146.81 (vs. the stipend of $195.75 for regular au pairs). [Why they get 75% of the weekly stipend for working 66% of the regular 45 hour week, I don't know.]

Here’e how the EduCare program is described to prospective au pairs:

The EduCare program is suited to someone who would like to spend more time studying, and less time looking afer the host family’s children. With EduCare you work up to 30 hours a week instead of 45 hours. Naturally, you earn slightly less, but your US$1,000 study allowance allows you to take courses for six hours a week.
EduCare departures take place in July/August or December. As Educare participants start their chosen college courses in either September or January, this gives you time to get to know your family and surroundings before classes start.

I discovered, with my little research for this post, that I never really understood the EduCare program…. I assumed that the program was designed for au pair candidates who wanted to do more studying than au pairs on the regular program. I didn’t realize that the program was also designed for families who simply needed less childcare– precisely because their kids were in full days of school… it’s as much about the kids’ educational status as the au pairs. Duh.

Even though my girls are in school for a full day now, this plan wouldn’t work for us… but not (only) because of the 30 hour on-duty limit. The real reason is that no one could afford to take the entire 22 credit hours of education, with only a $1000 tuition stipend! in our part of the USA, it’s hard enough to get the six credit hours of the regular program, and usually that costs the au pair &/or family more than $500. So for us, the basic expectation of this program is just unrealistic — unless we were happy to pay more for education, or our au pair was willing to put her pocket money (and more?) towards tuition.

But, I hear that the cost of living and going to school is lower outside the NYC area… so maybe it would be more realistic for you.

Are EduCare Candidates different from regular Au pair Candidates?

According to the regulations and the agency websites I scanned, there are no differences in what is required of candidates for these two programs. However, it would be interesting to hear from you if you’ve seen differences. Perhaps the kind of young person who selects EduCare over the regular option is more interested in studying? (Or, maybe s/he wants to work fewer hours, and/or doesn’t’ really need that much pocket money?)

CalifMom recently mentioned:

…We are looking at the educare program for next time. The APs have to take two classes per term, so they are not able to just sit at home–they will have to be more on top of things. I think that program will attract APs who are more driven, more achievement-oriented, and hence better at getting stuff done, as well. Just assumptions here, though.

Parents, what do you think about these two programs? What has your experience been, if you’ve used or considered EduCare? Do tell….

From Flicker: Salihah on the day before school on from bingregory
First Day at School from Danacea
Ist Day of School 2009, No.1 from Jeff Blucher

Hi Au Pair Mom Readers! Love the site and am totally addicted. The advice is so helpful!

I need advice on the subject of college education for my au pair. Our au pair has indicated an interest in attending university here in the U.S. instead of in her home country (Germany). It’s unclear whether she wants to pursue this for only a year or for all four years, but what is clear is that she wants to take credit classes and probably have at least a partial if not full course schedule. In other words, she wants to be an enrolled student at a college and take courses that will further her ultimate goal of attaining a teaching degree.

We love our au pair and would love to extend with her. Is it possible for her to do both, even if realistically she could only attend college part-time ? If she is not permitted to be an au pair or work for us full time while she is enrolled as a student, where can we find information for her about how to apply for a student visa and what she needs to do to apply at a college as a foreign student? We love her to the point that we would help facilitate her college enrollment even if that means she cannot extend with us as an au pair.

I know there are other parents that read this site that have been in this situation and have already done the research and can offer practical solutions. I really don’t want to reinvent the wheel and have to search for and then read piles of INS forms and college websites to figure out what someone else already knows!

Harry Potter Day by TheTidalRabbit