From the category archives:

Differences

Cultural Exchange: Let’s ramp up our learning

by cv harquail August 20, 2010

The world of au pairing makes some pretty big promises. Au Pairs are promised a year of hard work and adventure, the chance to live in the USofA, and the opportunity to learn first hand about American culture. Families are promised an energetic adventurous young adult who will partly assimilate into their families and partly [...]

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What counts as “cultural exchange”?

by cv harquail August 3, 2010

Host Mom KMW writes with this thoughtful question: Most families seem to include the cultural aspect of having an au pair as an important reason for going the au pair route. I have been thinking a lot about the pluses and minuses of Au Pairs vs. a US based nanny… and I’m wondering how much [...]

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When Your Host Mom is a Stripper

by cv harquail July 1, 2010

Host moms and dads have a lot of interesting occupations, and habits. On this blog, we’ve got police officers, massage therapists, teachers, managers, writers, dog breeders, and more. But up until this comment, below, I never thought any of us host parents … well, here’s the comment: This isn’t really to ask for advice, more [...]

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Choosing an Au Pair: Sexual Orientation as a consideration

by cv harquail May 5, 2010

When we are looking for au pair candidates who might be a good fit with our family, we have criteria (e.g., must drive, can’t smoke, likes dogs) that are non-negotiable. We have preferences that direct us to candidates with characteristics we think we’d like in an au pair (e.g., is musically talented, family-oriented, German). And [...]

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What really motivates them to become Au Pairs?

by cv harquail May 3, 2010

Very few au pairs come to the US because they want to take care of kids. They can do this in their home countries, with a lot less drama and zero homesickness. While many (let’s hope, most) au pairs like kids, and think they will enjoy caring for kids for a year, this is usually [...]

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Choosing an Au Pair: How much does the home country matter?

by cv harquail April 29, 2010

Host parents are often asked why they’ve chosen an au pair from a particular country, and whether an au pair’s home country matters. How do you answer that question, without sounding like you’re stereotyping too much? When it comes to having preferences for countries, we feel very comfortable prioritizing home countries based on language– if [...]

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My Au Pair Dresses Like a Tramp. Help!

by cv harquail April 27, 2010

Au Pairs and their appearance– another dicey topic. We don’t like to think that an au pair’s physical appearance affects how we (or others) respond to her, but the ugly truth is– appearances are influential. When we (American) host parents react to an au pair’s appearance, we’re invoking preferences, expectations and interpretations based partly in [...]

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When Your Au Pair Breaks Your Psychological Contract

by cv harquail April 24, 2010

[ Note: I think this might be the longest AuPairMom post I've ever written. It was a long train ride and I think I got carried away.] Host families and au pairs call it mutual expectations, and management scholars call it the “psychological contract”. The idea behind a psychological contract is that we agree to [...]

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Matching with an Au Pair: When Racism interferes

by cv harquail October 2, 2009

Take a deep breath everyone– time to talk about something many people find uncomfortable: Racism.  But talk about it we must, because racism gets in the way of our relationships with each other. 3 Sources of “Racism Interference” Racism interference can come from three directions, any of which can influence your match with an Au [...]

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Can this relationship be saved? “Uncomfortable” or something else?

by cv harquail August 19, 2009

“Our Au Pair tells us that she is ‘uncomfortable’.” … but what does this really mean? Host parents, can you help with this request for advice? This is our first aupair…(well our very first decided she couldnt handle it and went home after 1 month). She is 22 years old from Colombia and has been [...]

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