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Cultural Exchange Challenges

Our Au Pair is Headed for Heartbreak: Should we intervene?

by cv harquail April 4, 2012

Ah, young love. One joy of having an au pair in your home is that you get to relive (however vicariously) the drama, adventure and sometimes romance that your au pair entangles herself in. You hear about the handsome guy/beautiful girl your au pair met, you offer your opinion on what outfit to wear for [...]

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Au Pair Asks: What if I’m not really prepared to handle these kids?

by cv harquail February 20, 2012

Dear Au Pair Mom, I really love to read your blog, and have been reading it for a few months now, back when I started on my quest to become an Au Pair. And now for the first time I’m writing to you for advice. I have just moved to my host family and have [...]

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F.A.Q.: Must we use an Au Pair Agency to engage an Au Pair?

by cv harquail January 14, 2012

Must we use an Au Pair Agency to engage an Au Pair? Yes. Sure, you can go it alone, but then you would not be operating within US Law. We emphatically recommend that you use an approved agency to find and retain your au pair. Following the laws and regulations protects both your family and [...]

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How has being an au pair Host Parent changed you?

by cv harquail December 15, 2011

Last week I met a woman who’s editing two books on parenting. She was intrigued by the AuPairMom community and the kinds of conversations we have here, and she peppered me with questions. One of the questions she asked was a tough one– I could answer it for myself, certainly, but I was unable to [...]

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Holiday Gift Ideas: What could an Au Pair give to an ‘Host’ Uncle? Housekeeper?

by cv harquail December 4, 2011

I’m so impressed that there are still 19, 22, or 29 shopping days left (depending on the holiday you celebrate), but many of you are already getting organized! Right about when I posted the call for general gift ideas, we received this email from Au Pair MMC. Her gift-giving situation adds four challenges– She needs [...]

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Extablishing Expectations when an Au Pair Has Guests

by cv harquail November 30, 2011

There’s something about hosting a friend of relative of your au pair that can mess with the fine balance between “part of the family”&  “childcare provider” and between “host mom” and “house elf/slave”. For lots of us, we forget to check our assumptions about how we should act towards other people’s guests, how much of [...]

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Christmas & Holidays with your Au Pair: Post round-up

by cv harquail November 25, 2011

The Christmas & Holiday season is now officially upon us — just in time to work off that second slice of pumpkin pie. I think I’m finally figuring out how to do these seasonal celebrations — I’ve got the weekly countdown calendar planner out again. We’ve sent out party invitations and even bought cases of [...]

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Who counts as an “American” family?

by cv harquail September 19, 2011

I imagine that every au pair has an idea of what her or his “ideal” host family should be like. The assortment of children, the family’s location, their personality, their basic household rules… all of this factors in. But how much do you think it matters that the family be “American”-American, rather than German-American or [...]

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Hurricanes? Emergencies?

by cv harquail August 26, 2011

Our Swedish au pair got off Skype with a friend back home in Stockholm last evening as we made dinner, looking rather gray and scared. She asked us to tell her which laws that had been changed now because of Hurricane Irene, and were we allowed to be walking around after dark.

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Struggling to Communicate With Host Dad

by cv harquail August 5, 2011

Every host parent has his or her own approach to interacting with their au pair. Our personalities affect some of this, but even more important is who has taken which role in the host parents – au pair relationship. When adults team up to become parents, homemakers and breadwinners, they divvy up these roles so [...]

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