Truths & Lies

How Should an Au Pair Explain Visible Scars to Host Kids?

by cv harquail July 8, 2017

Each of us bears scars from life events that have challenged us. Some of these scars are hidden, and allow us to keep their origins private. Other scars are in plain sight, and their visibility raises the possibility that at some point, we won’t be able to keep their origins to ourselves. I have a […]

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Intervene, or Not? Our Rematched Au Pair is Misrepresenting Herself to Potential Host Parents

by cv harquail December 13, 2016

We always, always recommend that Host Parents get current references when they consider rematch candidates. This Host Mom’s situation explains why. Dear Au Pair Mom — I’ve trying to figure out whether, and how, to interfere in a situation that I’m sure will become a problem. Our first Au Pair was a epic fail. […]

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When Your Au Pair Lies About Mileage on the Car

by cv harquail November 14, 2016

Sorry for the long lapse in posting…I’m still recovering. To nudge me (and you?) back into the challenges of Host Parenting, here’s an email about a problem that we faced with our Au Pair too. It was especially disappointing — and surprising — since this happened with perhaps our most mature, measured, and […]

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Do Bad Host Families Get Blacklisted By Au Pair Agencies?

by cv harquail October 23, 2016

How might Agencies keep bad Host Families from cycling from one Agency to the next, without getting removed from the program entirely? We worry not only about bad Au Pairs getting recycled though the system, but also about rematch Host Families getting one chance after another to strike out with an Au Pair. It should […]

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How To Share Information About Rematch Au Pairs, When the Agency Won’t

by cv harquail October 18, 2016

We all believe that Au Pair Agencies should be as transparent as possible about what sends Au Pairs and Host Families into rematch. We don’t want to recycle problem Au Pairs and problem Host Families, hoping that they can make some kind of barely adequate rematch that avoids anything illegal or unsafe, just so they […]

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When a Host Family Doesn’t Keep Their Word, Get Ready To Rematch

by cv harquail September 1, 2016

au pair problems, au pair advice, choosing an au pair

When Au Pairs or Host Families have unique situations, it’s smart to negotiate ahead of time to be very, very, clear about what you need. Being specific about scheduled hours, transportation, unique food/nutrition needs, kid care tasks, and so on helps both parties make sure that they are finding the right match. This MastersStudentAuPair (whose […]

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Interviewing Rematch Au Pairs: Special Questions?

by cv harquail August 3, 2016

How to Interview Au Pair Candidates is the #1 topic that people search for on AuPairMom. This week, I’ve been hard at work on an eBook that can offer all the ideas in one place and one package. It’s insane, trying to pull together (as much as is humanly possible) the wisdom that’s accumulated here […]

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Should I Tell the Other Host Family Their Au Pair Is Leaving Early? (Poll)

by cv harquail July 7, 2016

Dear AuPairMom — My au pair’s good friend here is an au pair as well. According to my AP, the friend is scheduled to work for her host family for a year but will be leaving a few weeks early. The problem? The Au Pair hasn’t told her Host Family that she’s leaving, even though […]

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Addressing a Vast Gap Between Ethical Standards: Yours vs Your Au Pair’s

by cv harquail March 25, 2016

There are “cultural differences” and there are “philosophical differences”. With cultural differences, it’s less about “right” or “wrong” than about how folks prefer to do things. With philosophical differences, it’s all about right and wrong. So how do you manage when you discover that your au pair thinks something is perfectly fair to do, but […]

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When Your Au Pair Streams Movies – Illegally

by cv harquail December 1, 2015

Taylor-Swift-in-bed-with-Apple-MacBook-Pro-laptop

Deciding whether or not to pay for the online media (movies, TV shows, music) that you consume seems to be a generational thing. Young people do it, we “olds” do not. Sure — once upon a time I used Napster (dating myself). Until we got a reminder from the University where I worked that using […]

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