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Truths & Lies

When an ‘Au Pair’ should really be a Nanny

by cv harquail January 19, 2012

Sometimes you just don’t want to read the subject lines of the emails that show up in our AuPairMom emailbox. The email posted below came with the subject line, “Am I being taken advantage of?”. But, by the time the au pair finished telling her story, it was clear it the subjuct should have been [...]

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What can Host Parents Do about Deceptive Agency Practices?

by cv harquail April 14, 2011

Readers, I must admit that these stories of being screwed by both agency & au pair get me upset. Thank goodness these stories are more rare than the terrific au pair and the perfectly fine au pairs we have little reason to need advice about. We all know that most au pairs, and most agency [...]

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Getting a Refund from an Unsupportive Agency

by cv harquail April 11, 2011

Readers, there is sadly more to the story of Deflated HostMom. She and her DH are having trouble getting the finances between the family and the au pair, and the family and the Agency, settiled to their saristaction. As Deflated HostMom describes: We have already paid our current au pair her full education allowance, and [...]

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Au Pair “Shopped for a New Family” with Agency’s help — behind our backs

by cv harquail April 11, 2011

Our au pair came to us last Tuesday, out of the blue, to inform us she “wants to be by the beach” and wants to enter rematch. She has refused any attempt at mediation. We learned today that she had listed herself, over a month ago, on a third-party site for in-country au pairs and [...]

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Candid, awkward issue: Choosing Au Pairs who are obese

by cv harquail January 26, 2011

AuPairMom is a place where we host parents (and au pairs) can talk about issues that only other host parents and au pairs can understand. Often, these issues are tough ones that touch upon cultural differences, style differences, political differences, and deep personal preferences. Every now and then, we get a topic that we want [...]

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Something’s Missing: Not the GPS, but her sense of Responsibility

by cv harquail January 20, 2011

From HostMom Needing Guidance: Dear Au Pair Mom readers – We’re 7 months into our year with our current AP. It’s been a good year so far and she is a great AP. She’s good with the kids and fairly easy to live with, and we’re starting to think about whether to extend. However, I [...]

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Au Pair Asks: My Host Mom wants to get rid of me. … Am I alone in this feeling?

by cv harquail January 16, 2011

Readers, here’s another one of those emails that I just don’t have a good answer for… Can any of you au pairs or host parents offer her some comfort? Hi Au Pair Mom, I am an au pair and always read this blog, to know if I am doing right, to have kind of a [...]

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My Au Pair is Stealing Little Items: Should I rematch?

by cv harquail December 16, 2010

This query was tucked away in a previous post: Tough Topic: When your au pair steals from you. I thought it deserved its own, up-to-the-minute conversation. From Host Mom Pippa: I just last week caught our au pair stealing little items from us, confronted her, and then caught her the next day stealing more. AP [...]

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Is it reasonable to stop trusting my Au Pair after this?

by cv harquail December 5, 2010

When we share a bond of trust with another person, we can can handle almost any kind of conflict or difference of opinion. For most of us, we begin our relationships with our au pairs with a foundation of ‘swift trust’, and then build on this foundation as each party meets their obligations, treats the [...]

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Au Pair Asks: What happens when you discover that you can’t provide what your Host Kid with Special Needs needs?

by cv harquail October 15, 2010

Dear AuPairMoms- What happens when the au pair is placed with a host family that has a special needs child, and it isn’t working out? Both the agency and the host family knew beforehand that the au pair did not have any previous experience with special needs, but the Au Pair chose to take the [...]

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