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Privileges vs. entitlements

What can an Au Pair expect from a Host Family?

by cv harquail May 3, 2010

In the mirror post to this one, we’re generating a list of ways that families interpret and execute the rules, but with the effect of having the au pair feel mistreated. Here on this page is our chance to list what an au pair can expect from a family when both the family and the [...]

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Locking the Refrigerator, and other ways to mistreat an Au Pair

by cv harquail May 3, 2010

Riffing on the post Do Au Pairs need a bill of rights? about Au Pairs and a domestic workers bill of rights, Dawn mentioned that A clear listing as to what kind of treatment is reasonable to expect would be very helpful in such circumstances. As one example, in a program where the AP expects [...]

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When Your Au Pair Breaks Your Psychological Contract

by cv harquail April 24, 2010

[ Note: I think this might be the longest AuPairMom post I've ever written. It was a long train ride and I think I got carried away.] Host families and au pairs call it mutual expectations, and management scholars call it the “psychological contract”. The idea behind a psychological contract is that we agree to [...]

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How to Handle Costs for a Ski Vacation: Who should pay for what?

by cv harquail February 5, 2010

When a host family takes their au pair with them to work during part of the vacation, what should they provide for her during her off-duty time? Especially, what should you provide on a ski vacation, where costs are relatively high and your au pair can’t afford to pay for her own skiing? A European [...]

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Moms & Au Pairs: Can I hold us to different tv rules?

by cv harquail February 4, 2010

I’m a believer that different members of a family have different privileges and responsibilities, depending on their roles and their ages. Parents have more privileges than do children, and employers have more privileges than do employees. The rules that we follow can be different, as long as they are fair. Nobody, and I mean nobody, [...]

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Took the car for the weekend & lied: Should I report car stolen?

by cv harquail January 23, 2010

The quick answer? Only if you’re ready to rematch, and Only if you are ready to have your au pair hate you. And you may well be ready for that, if this situation is what it’s boiled down to: I actually just found this great blog because I believe my au pair has stolen our [...]

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Holiday Bonus, Tip, or End of Year Cash Gift? (Poll)

by cv harquail December 18, 2009

I’ve been reluctant to bring this topic up again because last year the idea of giving your Au Pair a holiday cash gift or top really seemed to freak people out. Check the earlier posts before you go wild: Gift, Bonus or Tip: Call it what you want, but keep in mind…. How much should [...]

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Choosing an Au Pair: How to Avoid a Princess

by cv harquail September 26, 2009

If only it were as easy as sticking a green vegetable underneath her mattress and waiting to see if she gets a good night’s sleep… We all want to avoid “the princess” – the au pair candidate who thinks the job is all about visiting the States, living in an American home, and having an [...]

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Who pays for what?

by cv harquail September 7, 2009

Sometimes the concept of treating an au pair like a ‘member of the family’ doesn’t give you enough guidance. This seems especially true when it comes to figuring out ‘who pays for what, when’. We got a request (using the Skribit feature) for a post that would heolp to establish some guidelines for this. I’ve [...]

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“No Room at the Inn” because AP changed her plans. Now what? (Poll)

by cv harquail August 22, 2009

My au pair’s vacation is coming up. To cover for her, we’re having both sets of grandparents come stay over. They’ll be here for a month, but will overlap for a little over a week. The overlap will occur while the AP is on vacation. We have a smallish house – 3 bedrooms. Our “guest [...]

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